OP here. She has in the registry - Uppababy system, Summer 3D stroller, Lullaby swing, floor swing, bouncer, 3 different playmates, Rock n Play, Pack n Play, Halo Basisnet, portable baby dome, and and other things like feeding supplies and baby necessities. She wants to buy a Snoo, but I don’t think it’s worth it.

She's probably getting a ton of advice - "you HAVE to have this XXX, it saved my life," etc. She needs to ignore it all. The truth is, you aren't really going to know what you need until the baby gets here. What works for one baby and one family doesn't work for another.

Super accurate. There are maybe three things that you HAVE to get and everything else depends on your kid + your personal situation. You also do NOT want to be dealing with all this extra stuff that takes up space and is a pain to return when you have a newborn. Ask me how I know.

My main advice is to focus on the things that you can use for a long time. We used a Pack n' Play in lieu of a crib for 6+ months and for 2+ years as a travel crib. Our original diaper genie has lasted 3+ years, as has our original stroller. All totally worth it. But don't get a bassinet that your kid will grow out of in a matter of weeks.

That said, you have to get a Nose Frida. It takes up no space and is a freaking lifesaver ...

There are a lot worse abusive people on this forum than “pie hole”...

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are expecting our first, and likely only child, in a couple of months. She has been going way overboard with super expensive purchases or a ton of things we likely will never use. We had the normal big expenses like crib, stroller, lounge chair, etc., but we paid more because it had to certified to be free of toxins. She has put most things on the registry, but she wants to buy a $1200 bassinet, on top of a $300 bassinet we are asking for as a gift. She currently has two types of swings, two bassinets, 3 different strollers, etc. We live in a 1,700sqft. condo, and I don’t know how we will store all of this stuff. It’s like she’s shopping for twins. We may try fir a second child, but due to her age ( 37), we likely will be one and done. I want her to be happy and we aren’t hurting for money, but I feel she’s been very excessive. Can I bring it up or just keep my mouth shut?

It sounds like she is feeling anxious and going overboard on the baby gear to cope? Or could be more along the lines of "gee, this will probably be our only so I ought to do everything perfectly." Talk to her about it, but bring it up gently.

New poster. Agree with a PP that you could ask someone else to talk to DW -- her mom, her best friend, sister, someone with kid experience but whom you trust not to say that you asked for the intervention. If you bring it up, or she knows you asked someone else to bring it up, she may see you as being unenthusiastic about the baby, but she may be able to hear things more objectively from a friend or relative. I'm NOT saying you are unenthusiastic, OP! Just saying that it's how she might take it, considering she isn't thinking very practically right now.

Best scenario would be if she has a friend who also is a former or current nanny who can point out, "Remember what a pain it was when parents had two of everything and didn't need it at all? So much stuff and only one of each thing ever got used. And with what you paid for strollers two and three you can get (other great item) instead...." Etc.

Anonymous wrote:Really, she's better off getting a PacknPlay in place of a bassinet. It can serve the same function until baby's ready for the real crib, plus, you'll need it for travel anyway (and it doesn't cost $1200!).

+1. PacknPlay all the way! We didn’t even use the crib until 3 or 4 months. PacknPlay right in the bedroom!

Really, she's better off getting a PacknPlay in place of a bassinet. It can serve the same function until baby's ready for the real crib, plus, you'll need it for travel anyway (and it doesn't cost $1200!).

This should be in the parenting forum.

OP- I'm in the same boat. Just follow along. last thing you want to do is stress her (and the fetus) out.

Anonymous wrote:I say keep your mouth shut if you’re getting these items gifted to you. She’s probably just really excited. Let her experience all of this if it’s going to be her only child. She will probably realizes what your baby needs and return or regift the other items. I don’t see any harm in letting her go a little crazy if you’re a rent the one paying for it.

-* aren’t the one paying for it.

I say keep your mouth shut if you’re getting these items gifted to you. She’s probably just really excited. Let her experience all of this if it’s going to be her only child. She will probably realizes what your baby needs and return or regift the other items. I don’t see any harm in letting her go a little crazy if you’re a rent the one paying for it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I will bring it up. She’s generally very minimalistic when it comes to items, but I think she’s just very excited. I agreed on the purchase of spending extra for a crib and dresser because many cheap ones are made with formaldehyde and can release methane gasses into the air. Most of what we will receive is from the registry, and not paid for ourselves. I’m more concerned with being overloaded with baby gear. My wife is also a former nanny and does have some idea of what an infant needs.

What does she actually have on the registry? Maybe you’re just clueless as to what a baby needs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring it up. You MAY need two strollers at once, but DEFINITELY not three all at once.

Only one bassinet, but really the dock-a-tot seems better than that. I'd get the DaT and skip any bassinet.

Please don’t get a dock-a-tot. They’re not safe.

They’re wildly dangerous. Please don’t even buy one or even attempt to co-sleep.

OP here. I will bring it up. She’s generally very minimalistic when it comes to items, but I think she’s just very excited. I agreed on the purchase of spending extra for a crib and dresser because many cheap ones are made with formaldehyde and can release methane gasses into the air. Most of what we will receive is from the registry, and not paid for ourselves. I’m more concerned with being overloaded with baby gear. My wife is also a former nanny and does have some idea of what an infant needs.

Between nesting and friend testamonials, it’s easy to believe that all that is necessary. Just ask that she hold back for a bit and remember that most things are 2 day shipping away and can be ordered as needed.

Save receipts and return judiciously