Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Lynette grew up homeschooled in a religious cult and had a lot of hangups. She was mostly using you to rebel and you broke up when she called you a child of Satan.


Michelle.

Michelle never met a man she didn't like. Slept with your brother and all your friends when you guys were dating and some guy she met at the Justin Timberlake concert you surprised her with for her birthday.

Nicole

Nicole is the one who got away. Should have followed her to Japan. According to my ex no one could compare to her.

Brendan.

Drummer you dated because you thought he looked like Jakob Dylan. He had a drinking problem and made out with your best friend at your 21 st birthday party.

Steve

Sheila was a natural career, whip smart, nice to a fault. You broke up because you needed someone more complicated.

Nicole was a nervous mess, as likely to fawn over you as snap at you. Her family was even messier, so you decided to doge that bullet and not get in deeper.

Eddie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Lynette grew up homeschooled in a religious cult and had a lot of hangups. She was mostly using you to rebel and you broke up when she called you a child of Satan.


Michelle.

Michelle never met a man she didn't like. Slept with your brother and all your friends when you guys were dating and some guy she met at the Justin Timberlake concert you surprised her with for her birthday.

Nicole

Nicole is the one who got away. Should have followed her to Japan. According to my ex no one could compare to her.

Brendan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Lynette grew up homeschooled in a religious cult and had a lot of hangups. She was mostly using you to rebel and you broke up when she called you a child of Satan.


Michelle.

Michelle never met a man she didn't like. Slept with your brother and all your friends when you guys were dating and some guy she met at the Justin Timberlake concert you surprised her with for her birthday.

Nicole

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Lynette grew up homeschooled in a religious cult and had a lot of hangups. She was mostly using you to rebel and you broke up when she called you a child of Satan.


Michelle.

Lynette went to a private liberal arts college and got a degree in librarian studies. She rolled up $200,000 worth of student debt. She now works part time as a librarian and thinks that the engineer across town who is working 70 hours per week should pay off her debt. She contacts Ocasio-Cortez who tells Lynette that she is a victim and that the engineer is evil. Meanwhile, the engineer isn't paying attention because he is busy working his ass off and paying taxes. Lynette protests in the street and tells the news that the white male engineer has white male privilege. The news blasts the engineer on TV, but the engineer doesn't see it, because he is at work. After the news tracks him down and asks why he has no student debt, he states that he worked his way through college by holding down 3 jobs. He is then called racist, homophobic, and misogynistic because he works 70 per week and doesn't have a criminal record. Lynette, who has several arrests on her record, is invited to speak at the democratic national convention.


Sheila

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Joe had an unfortunate problem with PE that ruined all his relationships.

Lynette.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Forgot to add a name: Joe

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drew was a cool, lead singer and guitar player in high school and college bands. Got too into drugs and alcohol, has been in and out of rehab and last you heard, was back in. Was hot and fun while it lasted though!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drews overbearing mother really hoped he would be a cool kid. But instead he struggles both socially and professionally. He has a cool name but can’t quite get there.

Bear (seriously).

LOL—He WAS a small-town boy, but I’m not sure he ever watched porn. He was uber-conservative. I was just trying it on, relax. My very first love was a skinny music major. Ha!

Bear was a burly lumber sexual park ranger who just couldn’t grow up.

Joseph

Joseph was a former circus worker who suffered from macrocephaly; hyperostosis of the large skull; hypertrophy of long bones; and thickened skin and subcutaneous tissues, particularly of the hands and feet, including plantar hyperplasia, lipomas, and other unspecified subcutaneous masses. He looked sort of like an elephant.

Broke up over fall break junior year.

Dick - Goes In Ya

Cleophus is gay.

Cleophus

Anonymous wrote:Ryan was a small town boy who made good and arrived at your fancy east coast school to play football. He was sweet and funny with his thick neck and massive quads and you fell for him right away. But his addiction to porn made it hard to have a relationship with a real female, and you eventually stopped returning his calls and started dating a skinny musicology major.

Drew.

Drews overbearing mother really hoped he would be a cool kid. But instead he struggles both socially and professionally. He has a cool name but can’t quite get there.

Bear (seriously).