The YA Kissing Booth book is essentially crap, too, if it makes you feel any better.

It’s categorized Contemporary Romance, not Erotica. She’s fine.

Okay, so there is a lot of smut on Kindle. Not the bodice rippers of yore with a predictable plot and a smattering of sex scenes, but what is now termed erotica. Fewer euphemisms, less romance, more kink. Lots of sex.

Is she reading old school romance with sex scenes, or the newer stuff?

You are upset. Can you articulate why? What exactly concerns you about her reading? If you can articulate that to her, it will help you both, I think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she buying these books or checking them out from the library?

Kindle

That doesn’t answer the question.

Oh you mean if it was one of our books? No. The smut book has the exact same title as a popular YA romance book (Kissing Booth) I am guessing that’s how she stumbled on it. She activated Kindle unlimited today without asking which also made me suspicious.

Well it has good reviews and ratings, so that’s good. I just didn’t want her reading poorly written smut.

You can rent erotic novels with very explicit, disturbing sex scenes from the library (bondage, BDSM, threesome, public humiliation, anal sex)... These aren’t heaving bosoms and rapid breaths a la Danielle Steele. I’d keep an eye on what she checks out from the library.
(See Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Ann Rice or Mastered by Maya Banks... these are NYtimes bestnselling authors.)

I grew up reading sexually explicit romance novels, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I have always had healthier romantic relationships than most of my friends. My earliest archetypes of romantic relationships came from romance novels, which taught me that the right guy would treat me incredibly well both in and out of the bedroom, and would value my feelings as much as his own. I am extremely happy married, if it matters, And I think I was much more sexually conservative before marriage precisely because I grew up reading novels that told me sex was something you did with someone who you truly were in love with. Not with some dude you just met at the bar.

In short, I would be really happy if my daughter were reading ( historical or mainstream contemporary) romances at 11 or 12. Now, erotic romance? That genre did not exist 20 years ago. I might well draw the line at threesomes and anal, yeah.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously. You've gotten advice from both sides.

You can take the Kindle away and tell her she's too young for that kind of reading and why.

or

You can tell her why you don't want her to read it, let her keep the Kindle, and check in to see if she's following your rules.

or

You can tell her why you don't want her to read it, but accept that she will and continue on your way.

Which seems like the best option for you?

I don’t know.

I used to read my older sister's copies of "True Confessions" at that age. Completely harmless and I never sought out porn afterwards. I was just curious and it was titillating in a mild way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she buying these books or checking them out from the library?

Kindle

That doesn’t answer the question.

Oh you mean if it was one of our books? No. The smut book has the exact same title as a popular YA romance book (Kissing Booth) I am guessing that’s how she stumbled on it. She activated Kindle unlimited today without asking which also made me suspicious.

I am never in the leave it alone bunch on parenting but with these types of books I say leave it alone. It's not porn and most girls used to read those Danielle Steel type of books. It wasn't my choice of reading but I've known so many women who did, I know it's perfectly normal. I would not shame her or discuss it at all if she's into it for now.

Anonymous wrote:I really wouldn't worry. If you make it bad, or taboo, you'll be propagating the sad state of sexual mental health this country has been in for so long.

The number one way to make a kid crave something is to deny them of it. If you have a home with no treats or sweets then your kid will spend their whole allowance on them and seek it out at friends houses.

Let her read what she wants and just keep an eye out to make sure she doesn't really cross a line with hardcore porn.

But how will I know and how is this different? And what do I do when the porn eventually follows? This limitless access to online content is so hard to ‘keep an eye’ on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she buying these books or checking them out from the library?

Kindle

That doesn’t answer the question.

Anonymous wrote:Is she buying these books or checking them out from the library?

Kindle

What’s the title?

I really wouldn't worry. If you make it bad, or taboo, you'll be propagating the sad state of sexual mental health this country has been in for so long.

The number one way to make a kid crave something is to deny them of it. If you have a home with no treats or sweets then your kid will spend their whole allowance on them and seek it out at friends houses.

Let her read what she wants and just keep an eye out to make sure she doesn't really cross a line with hardcore porn.