Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 17:39     Subject: Brother asking for money
Anonymous wrote:Why does anyone in your family know how much money you make?? Stop talking.


They assume, I don't tell them anything. They observe our home, lifestyle, vacations, but we never talk $$ (at least I do not). I mentioned that we wouldn't be home for part of June because we were going to Williamsburg & to the beach.. and my father texts and says I should take my brother and his wife with me..... That's the extent of the money talk.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 13:04     Subject: Brother asking for money
Why does anyone in your family know how much money you make?? Stop talking.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 11:38     Subject: Brother asking for money
Anonymous wrote:OP here!

Thanks for the suggestions and comments.

A little more background I should have shared..

Most of my family thinks that since I make a lot more money than my brother, that I owe him things. I've had my mother suggest I take him and his wife on a trip with us. I've had my father suggest I bail out my brother's failing business. If I refuse, I'm a snob. This has been my life for at least 8 years at this point! I don't like taking these calls. It's exhausting. He hasn't called today and I am hoping he'll just get the point and leave me alone...but if not, I am going to tell him I have all my money allocated to where it needs to be - savings and bills. I don't have any to spare. And, really it is true. I have 3 kids to send to college.. they come first.

It's really frustrating being the villain in my family just because I'm not a patsy. Sigh.


Wow, I’m sorry. Shame on your mother and father for saying that backwards stuff to you. They should have gotten him real help years ago, not this bail out money from you.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 11:37     Subject: Brother asking for money
Tell him no and tell him to get his ADHD treated so he can focus on something for more than a week.

Time for him to grow up and be an adult.

He sounds like a prime candidate for a Gov’t job. Then he can do his random new stuff on the side.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 11:16     Subject: Brother asking for money
Anonymous wrote:OP here!

Thanks for the suggestions and comments.

A little more background I should have shared..

Most of my family thinks that since I make a lot more money than my brother, that I owe him things. I've had my mother suggest I take him and his wife on a trip with us. I've had my father suggest I bail out my brother's failing business. If I refuse, I'm a snob. This has been my life for at least 8 years at this point! I don't like taking these calls. It's exhausting. He hasn't called today and I am hoping he'll just get the point and leave me alone...but if not, I am going to tell him I have all my money allocated to where it needs to be - savings and bills. I don't have any to spare. And, really it is true. I have 3 kids to send to college.. they come first.

It's really frustrating being the villain in my family just because I'm not a patsy. Sigh.


I've dealt with the same thing. My sibling thinks I have more $ because I live in a nicer home, have savings, drive nicer car. We actually have roughly the same income, it's just I don't buy a lot of junk or spend a lot eating out. I'm tired of being treated like I'm wealthier. I'm not, just more prudent.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 11:11     Subject: Brother asking for money
OP here!

Thanks for the suggestions and comments.

A little more background I should have shared..

Most of my family thinks that since I make a lot more money than my brother, that I owe him things. I've had my mother suggest I take him and his wife on a trip with us. I've had my father suggest I bail out my brother's failing business. If I refuse, I'm a snob. This has been my life for at least 8 years at this point! I don't like taking these calls. It's exhausting. He hasn't called today and I am hoping he'll just get the point and leave me alone...but if not, I am going to tell him I have all my money allocated to where it needs to be - savings and bills. I don't have any to spare. And, really it is true. I have 3 kids to send to college.. they come first.

It's really frustrating being the villain in my family just because I'm not a patsy. Sigh.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 11:07     Subject: Re:Brother asking for money
Anonymous wrote:Tell him you are not interested in investing in the business. However, tell him you are excited he is taking this plunge and that you would be happy to read his business plan or talk through any major decisions with him.

Point being, you can offer him some useful encouragement and confidence without costing you $.


Good idea
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 09:36     Subject: Brother asking for money
Anonymous wrote:Take his call. Before he can ask, tell him you have cash flow issues and need 25k for “just a few months.”


+ 1

Also, give him an itemized list of money he owes you and ask if he can return it back - you will never hear back from him again.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2019 09:33     Subject: Re:Brother asking for money
Tell him you are not interested in investing in the business. However, tell him you are excited he is taking this plunge and that you would be happy to read his business plan or talk through any major decisions with him.

Point being, you can offer him some useful encouragement and confidence without costing you $.