Anonymous
01/31/2019 04:43
Subject: mom question
Anonymous wrote:My parents who are in their 60's are staying over, everything is going okay. I need to ask something about my mom though. If in a conversation, I mention anything....ANYTHING!!! She will come back with something related in her own life or her friend's lives. Is this normal?
Ex: Me: (Just trying to make some conversation) Mom, look at this new blender I bought! You can make smoothies and add some fresh tasting fruits.
Mom: My friends have something called an airfryer. Do you have an airfryer? No? Haha Oh all my friends have them so I thought everyone had one.
Basically anything I talk about she is in comparison with it or bringing up her equivalent of whatever the things is. Is this normal? Tell mom you always swallow during oral
Anonymous
01/29/2019 20:25
Subject: Re:mom question
If I share any kind of news with my mom, she relates it to my sister.
So the blender conversation would be:
Mom, did you see the new blender? We have been making smoothies for breakfast every day.
Did you know that your sister has a blender? She makes amazing smoothies in her blender. I think she is going to buy an air fryer too. Do you have an air fryer?
So the blender conversation would be:
Mom, did you see the new blender? We have been making smoothies for breakfast every day.
Did you know that your sister has a blender? She makes amazing smoothies in her blender. I think she is going to buy an air fryer too. Do you have an air fryer?
Anonymous
01/29/2019 20:16
Subject: Re:mom question
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Be happy to have a mom to talk to even if she does drive you a bit nuts.
Oh ffs...
+1
Exactly.
Anonymous
01/29/2019 20:14
Subject: Re:mom question
Anonymous wrote:Be happy to have a mom to talk to even if she does drive you a bit nuts.
Oh ffs...
Anonymous
01/29/2019 20:12
Subject: mom question
Anonymous wrote:It’s annoying but it’s a common way for women to relate to each other conversationally. I find it got worse with my mom once she retired, but she also still tells me stories about things that happened at work 7+ years ago. My MIL is the worst with this and I blame the fact that she was a SAHM and all her kids have been out of the house for 12 years now. She doesn’t read books and doesn’t have hobbies so she doesn’t have much to talk about. But she also can’t stand to be alone or have silence so she will follow me around to house and just keep up a constant monologue about her neighbor’s new drapes or whatever.
PP, my mom is like this too. I also think it has to do with being a housewife - not enough practice socializing with others.
Anonymous
01/29/2019 20:10
Subject: Re:mom question
Anonymous wrote:My mom is in her 70s and does the same thing. It has gotten worse over the years. Every single conversation is turned around to her.
Age thing?
Anonymous
01/29/2019 19:52
Subject: mom question
Anonymous wrote:I feel for you OP. My mom is the same way. I just want to feel like she is listening to me, instead of talking about her own life. Just for one second - listen to me!
She’s basically been this way most of my life, but it’s getting worse as she gets older.
I hope hearing that I relate to your experience helps you.
So, you pretty much just want to talk about yourself? And your Mom also wants to talk about herself. Hmm. Hard to imagine how that came about.
Anonymous
01/29/2019 19:48
Subject: mom question
I feel for you OP. My mom is the same way. I just want to feel like she is listening to me, instead of talking about her own life. Just for one second - listen to me!
She’s basically been this way most of my life, but it’s getting worse as she gets older.
I hope hearing that I relate to your experience helps you.
She’s basically been this way most of my life, but it’s getting worse as she gets older.
I hope hearing that I relate to your experience helps you.
Anonymous
01/29/2019 11:05
Subject: mom question
Need more examples, but she is probably just trying to relate to you and make conversation.Anonymous wrote:My parents who are in their 60's are staying over, everything is going okay. I need to ask something about my mom though. If in a conversation, I mention anything....ANYTHING!!! She will come back with something related in her own life or her friend's lives. Is this normal?
Ex: Me: (Just trying to make some conversation) Mom, look at this new blender I bought! You can make smoothies and add some fresh tasting fruits.
Mom: My friends have something called an airfryer. Do you have an airfryer? No? Haha Oh all my friends have them so I thought everyone had one.
Basically anything I talk about she is in comparison with it or bringing up her equivalent of whatever the things is. Is this normal?
Anonymous
01/28/2019 19:45
Subject: mom question
I don't see what the problem is, really. She's not "doing" anything, but discussing a small appliance. I can see why she'd bring up the air fryer since you started the conversation about small appliances.
Anonymous
01/28/2019 18:26
Subject: mom question
I agree with those who said she's just trying to relate to what you said. Maybe she didn't do it the way you wanted her to? Your comment on the blender just REMINDED her of something. How is that narcissistic?
And by the way, my grown daughter does the same thing, seems like....no matter what I say she manages to turn it around and make it about herself. Or...wait...maybe she's just relating what I said to her own life? Nevermind!
And by the way, my grown daughter does the same thing, seems like....no matter what I say she manages to turn it around and make it about herself. Or...wait...maybe she's just relating what I said to her own life? Nevermind!
Anonymous
01/28/2019 18:20
Subject: mom question
My mom does the same thing. If the neighbors or friends get it/do it, its ok, but otherwise she harshly condemns it.
Anonymous
01/28/2019 18:03
Subject: mom question
She's trying to connect and relate. Shared experiences
Anonymous
01/28/2019 17:40
Subject: mom question
Anonymous wrote:Look, you are treating your mom like she’s never used a blender and you just discovered a miracle. She in return, is asking about something that is new (air fryer) and outside her realm of experience but still an appliance. I remember when my DH’s much much younger sister asked us if we had heard of the Beatles after she made this amazing discovery on iTunes. Ugh, I would much have preferred talking about the newer artists I didn’t know.
Agree with the bolded. She knows what a freaking blender is. What she said made sense - you were trying to tell her about a new appliance, and a blender is not new to her but an air fryer is.
Anonymous
01/28/2019 17:34
Subject: Re:mom question
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it’s a sign of narcicism — perhaps not clinically so, but a self-centered world view. It wears very thin. Even if people think this way, you’d hope they’d develop a way to fake better give-and-take in conversation so as to at least give the impression that the other person is valued.
Honestly, they both sound like they are talking to themselves in the example given. One is not worse than the other.