Like many PPs I agree that it's so important to have an individual life even while married. My DH and I both go out seperately to hear music, catch up with a friend, go to a lecture, a movie, on and on. We always come back energized with stories for each other and actually I feel like it builds up our love for each other, since we know we can continue to grow as people and engage with the world, and still have the security of a marriage and spouse.

We both try to look nice and put together, but not for flirting with strangers.

I think it’s important to go out with your friends. Shows you have a life outside of your kids and husband. You do not want to be scene only in your Mom or wife role. Besides, if DH ha to be alone with the kids he will appreciate you more.

I have three children 5 and under and it's hard to find time to go out WITH my husband! I may get out with my GF's once or twice a year at most.

I have a few girls nights each month (dinner and a few drinks). I do go out sometimes when I’m traveling for work. DH goes out with his friends while I’m away. We go out together when I’m in town.

I don't know if you should go out alone to the bar dressed up. That seems really aggressive.

But you should be doing things differently since your marriage is in trouble. Work out, wear sexy things around the house, and let your husband remember that you're a catch.

It's not wise to manipulate.

I think the context is bad here. I would never get dressed up for the purpose of making my husband jealous or mad or with the intent to attract someone else’s attention.

That being said we each have our own hobbies. Each plays in a different sports league and sometimes fraternizes with the team after a game. He goes out with his guy friends more, but he’s naturally more social and my girl friends are a little more geographically spread out and not as into the bar scene. This is all fine. But it’s done because it’s what we each like to do, not to spite the other.

Yes. I can’t take husband when meeting AP.

I think it is normal and healthy to have a social life without your spouse. However your situation is not healthy so what is normal does not apply. Are you making a desparate grasp? Go out and look good for yourself. play a game.

Anything that is head games is a bad idea.

Going out to try and get him to think or see or feel a certain way is a terrible idea.

Go back to marriage counselling

I go out and have fun with my friends because I want to, and I enjoy it. I don’t do it with an agenda to give him perspective? How silly. You need different friends. A good girls night is good for the soul.

Event related but never to just go out and party. Pretty much the same for my DH - he has no interest in poker nights etc. He works long hours and seems to really enjoy coming home.