Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We can't answer why. Be gracious and send her a wedding gift.

Or don’t send her a gift, but send her a sincere “congratulations” card and move forward without taking any offense.

Not OP but i have a very similar situation from this past Fall. How can you not be offended? I can’t shake it.

No I just realized our second cousins are here on the east coast. But I know she is not close to them. I'm the only first cousin on this side of the country.

Also my husband just pointed out to me that maybe he (husband) also has extended family in other states and had to make similar decisions. After ruminating all night and part of today, this makes the most sense.

Anonymous wrote:My husband says they maybe just opened it later to family in the area. And we are so far away. Just so baffled.

I think that’s possible. Are the other cousins all close by?

I’m sure they picked up on you being judgemental.

My husband says they maybe just opened it later to family in the area. And we are so far away. Just so baffled.

Is it possible your name is also on your dad’s envelope? Do you live in the same house?

I think she and her fiancé noticed you didn’t like him. Is it obvious to others how you feel, like your expression?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with op. I would be upset too

Wonder if invitation was lost

I, too, would feel slighted. But there is no solution for here except to set aside that hurt, send a nice card, and move on like no hurt existed. OP can do it.

OP here. I also don’t think it was lost in the mail, because that’s what my aunt said and the whole only aunts and uncles invited. I didn’t directly ask my question as not to put on the spot.

I’ll send the card and be gracious. But I’ll always wonder what the heck I’m the back of mind and not really want to be close to her again for fear of being hurt again like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you bored and just looking for drama? Be an adult. Send her a card with a lovely message. Be happy for her.

No, I’m just very hurt and trying to figure out why my entire side of my family was invited and I wasn’t. We have two other male cousins who don’t socialize at all with the family and they were the only other ones invited. But they don’t ever come to anything.

Given all this, it really seems like an error/lost in the mail issue.

I think most brides would follow up with people who did not respond so I doubt the invite got lost in the mail.

Is there such thing as a tactful way to find out if the invitation was sent and lost?

Or safer to assume that if someone was wanted at the wedding, they would have followed up to find out the RSVP?

Anonymous wrote:I agree with op. I would be upset too

Wonder if invitation was lost

I, too, would feel slighted. But there is no solution for here except to set aside that hurt, send a nice card, and move on like no hurt existed. OP can do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you bored and just looking for drama? Be an adult. Send her a card with a lovely message. Be happy for her.

No, I’m just very hurt and trying to figure out why my entire side of my family was invited and I wasn’t. We have two other male cousins who don’t socialize at all with the family and they were the only other ones invited. But they don’t ever come to anything.

Given all this, it really seems like an error/lost in the mail issue.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was super gracious to her boyfriend/guy when they were here and we talked for hours so again, if they sensed weirdness why stay for hours. I don’t dislike the guy just explaining the general opinion of the family.

Who cares what the family thinks? The “family” does not get a veto and it sounds like the “family” went to the wedding. Send a note, be supportive and learn your lesson.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you bored and just looking for drama? Be an adult. Send her a card with a lovely message. Be happy for her.

No, I’m just very hurt and trying to figure out why my entire side of my family was invited and I wasn’t. We have two other male cousins who don’t socialize at all with the family and they were the only other ones invited. But they don’t ever come to anything.

Sounds like yours got lost in the mail.

I agree with op. I would be upset too

Wonder if invitation was lost

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you bored and just looking for drama? Be an adult. Send her a card with a lovely message. Be happy for her.

No, I’m just very hurt and trying to figure out why my entire side of my family was invited and I wasn’t. We have two other male cousins who don’t socialize at all with the family and they were the only other ones invited. But they don’t ever come to anything.