Anonymous
01/27/2019 13:38
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
OP, I don't think it's just your sister. You seem to have low self-esteem. If you're not already, you should work with a therapist to learn how to like yourself better. I'm gonna say that your sister sounds like an unpleasant person but the fact that she gets to you at such a fundamentally core level suggests that the problem is that you really don't like yourself very much. And, face it, your sister is not going to change anyway - but you can.
And you deserve better! It sounds funny but, really, you deserve to like yourself! Stop focusing on your sister and go get help for that twisted part of you that is giving you such a hard time. Good luck! Hope things get better!
And you deserve better! It sounds funny but, really, you deserve to like yourself! Stop focusing on your sister and go get help for that twisted part of you that is giving you such a hard time. Good luck! Hope things get better!
Anonymous
01/27/2019 09:43
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Your sisters situation is extremely temporary. What happens if she and the BF break up? She knows this and she's insecure and still jealous of your success. Stop thinking so materialistically and realize the huge advantages you have over her.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 13:15
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Just deal. My little sister married a wealthy tech guy and they lead a much more luxurious lifestyle bracket than DH and me (dual fed, dual student loans). You can't compare your life with hers when you've made different choices in pursuit of different goals. Focus on achieving your own goals, not hers!
Anonymous
01/26/2019 13:00
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Anonymous wrote:I don't think she intends to. Its just that her life is a picture perfect instagram ready dream space that she sometimes seems to have a hard time understanding someone else, especially her dear sister, would not have the same privileges she enjoys.
For example, DH and I are "DC Poor." As such we have to budget and make tradeoffs. The past few years since we were wanting to get married and did not have any parental financial support.
Because of that we did not spend much money buying any furniture or artwork for our small apartment. As such it has been a few months since we moved into our new apartment and it is still pretty bare.
We also live in a relatively uncool part of town, Ft Myer, in an old building to not spend a lot on rent. We drive an older car and I own a minimalistic wardrobe.
Do I wish that I too could live a Pinterest life? Sure! But I am trying to be a responsible adult and live responsibly.
My little sister and her boyfriend however are poster children for millennial yuppies. He grew up upper middle class and also earns a high six figure salary as a late thirties tech sales guy. She doesn't make much but due to hanging out with him and his friends, she has sort of become a snob.
She always makes not very nice comments about how/why my DH and I live the way we do.
"Why would you live in a boring part of town?"
" I could never forgo an engagement ring. It is SO important to a woman!"
" A man should always bring a woman nice jewelry!"
"I could never live in an unfurnished apartment, that is so not cool!"
As a mid twenties young woman she is decidedly very lucky. She dresses in expensive fashions, wears nice jewelry, gets her hair done in expensive salons, mani pedi every two weeks, 2-3 vacations per year, well decorated apartment etc
In my early thirties I don't nearly live as lavishly. I am ok with my choices but her constant judgement and comparisons make me feel like she thinks less of me. And it makes me feel weird and awkward.
WWYD?
You already posted about this exact thing.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 12:59
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
So are you married or not? I didn't get that part?
Anonymous
01/26/2019 12:53
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Don't be stupid OP. If I can take advice not to hate Fox News viewers(I am trying to really take the advice given here), you should not compare your sister. She sounds unhappy to me.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 09:05
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
She’s your sister. Call her and tell her what you wrote in your OP. Tell her no more comments about $$ topics because it makes you feel bad and you can’t afford things.
And stop living your life acccording to what your sister thinks is important. I lived my 20s the way you are and it was just fine. Everyone did.
And stop living your life acccording to what your sister thinks is important. I lived my 20s the way you are and it was just fine. Everyone did.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 08:59
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
“So, when are you guys getting married?”
“You must want kids soon. I hope he sets a date.”
(If he travels a lot)
“I bet he must meet lots of cute girls while he’s traveling.”
“You must want kids soon. I hope he sets a date.”
(If he travels a lot)
“I bet he must meet lots of cute girls while he’s traveling.”
Anonymous
01/26/2019 08:25
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
I had a friend like this and eventually we drifted, even though we knew each other since we were young.
She called my house "cute" (as in little), she spent so much time talking about how once she bought her first home she threw away a of her Ikea stuff (in response to me buying Ikea). We used to travel together, but eventually she had to fly first class and stay in suites, while I was happy with a cheap red eye and a holiday inn. Celebratory dinners for her cost 200+ per head, and I was splurging for 150 total. She wouldn't bring herself down to my level and I could push myself to hers.
It took me a while to realize it was her and not me. I made down to earth "DC poor" friends, who liked Groupon dinners and long walks at Target. I needed to realize that the problem was her attitude and not my combined HHI of 175k.
I know it's different because it's your sister, but stand up for yourself tell her how it makes you feel when she insults the very nice life your have built for yourself. Ultimately though, it's up to you to move past the jealousy since you likely will not be able to change her.
She called my house "cute" (as in little), she spent so much time talking about how once she bought her first home she threw away a of her Ikea stuff (in response to me buying Ikea). We used to travel together, but eventually she had to fly first class and stay in suites, while I was happy with a cheap red eye and a holiday inn. Celebratory dinners for her cost 200+ per head, and I was splurging for 150 total. She wouldn't bring herself down to my level and I could push myself to hers.
It took me a while to realize it was her and not me. I made down to earth "DC poor" friends, who liked Groupon dinners and long walks at Target. I needed to realize that the problem was her attitude and not my combined HHI of 175k.
I know it's different because it's your sister, but stand up for yourself tell her how it makes you feel when she insults the very nice life your have built for yourself. Ultimately though, it's up to you to move past the jealousy since you likely will not be able to change her.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 08:21
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Tell her "hey sis, you're being obnoxious, knock it off." It doesn't need to be dramatic.
If you have trouble doing that, then the real issue isn't your rude, shallow sister, it's you. Deal with your jealousy and insecurity.
If you have trouble doing that, then the real issue isn't your rude, shallow sister, it's you. Deal with your jealousy and insecurity.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 08:03
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Op you sound like an immature teenager.
The majority of your post was YOU putting down yourself and your circumstances. Circumstances that sound like normal, hard working people's lives . You and your sister need to grow up.
The majority of your post was YOU putting down yourself and your circumstances. Circumstances that sound like normal, hard working people's lives . You and your sister need to grow up.
Anonymous
01/26/2019 07:58
Subject: Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
Anonymous wrote:You have a husband, she has a boyfriend who seems to be bankrolling her lifestyle. If there isn't a ring in her future I'd say her comments stem partly from insecurity. And you don't have to always keep quiet. I would start calling her out.
This. They’re already playing house apparently, so why hasn’t this guy in his late thirties locked it down yet? Sounds like he’s not sure about her...
Anonymous
01/25/2019 23:36
Subject: Re:Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
how is your sister perfect? her boyfriend has more money so what? you need to reasses your priorities. when i saw the title I thought it would be about your sister being beautiful with great career handsome husband and kids while you are single, jobless with health issues. the comparison you presented does not work to her advantage at all.
Anonymous
01/25/2019 19:26
Subject: Re:Perfect sister always makes me feel bad
So when he dumps her, how will she afford this lifestyle?
It doesn’t sound like she’s making any $ herself? They aren’t married.
It doesn’t sound like she’s making any $ herself? They aren’t married.