Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH. DH works in big law.

I do almost everything with regard to the house, chores, etc, including yardwork etc. BUT we have enough money that I can outsource quite a bit.

DH and I are 50/50 WITH the kids, when we are both home.

This. My DH is also biglaw and I stay home. I manage the household and do the laundry/grocieries/calendaring/meals, but we have a lawn service (mowing/weeding/mulching), maid, and don't DIY a ton of home repairs. But DH is 50/50 with the kids (or maybe a little more) when he is home.

OK, my DH also in biglaw, but he is NOT 50/50 with the kids when he is home (and I work FT, but a normal 40 hr job). Do your DH's not get last minute calls/assignments/emails? Or do they go back into the office for those? Or am I taking your words "when he is home" too literally and you mean when he is not working?

FWIW, my DH is a partner, so it's not like he is junior and gets assignments, but when he gets a note from a client he is super responsive so I feel like DH is always on call. As a result the division of labor is like 95/5 because he can't reliably commit to doing that much housework or child care (we have young kids) and I don't want stuff dumped on me at the last minute (like grocery shopping) because a client called as he was walking out the door and now we won't have stuff for the kids' lunches.

I’m a SAHM of 3. DH works 50-60 hours. I have a PT housekeeper/nanny. She does the majority of the housework.

DH and I are 50-50 when he is home.

I SAH. I don’t do anything that is exclusively DH’s stuff- so, I’ll wash his laundry if he gets it in the hamper, but I don’t pick it up off the floor and I don’t fold it. I cook for us all, he cleans up. Kids are responsible for their messes in theory. I do yard work. Floors are probably 50/50. We each have our own bathroom and are responsible for them. I handle all kid stuff and errands. DH watches kids for a few hours on weekends so I can have me time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.

Whatever. Unless you are Ma and Pa Ingalls, most people are outsourcing a lot.

I don't know many people outsourcing.

Really? Who built your furniture? Who butchered the meat you had for dinner? Grew the vegetables? Made your clothes?
Who changes the oil in your cars, repairs them when they break, does the plumbing, does the carpentry, teaches the kids to read and write, swim or play the piano? You don’t know a single person who outsources any of these things?
Most of us outsource a lot. It doesn’t make sense for most people to do everything on their own.

This made me LOL. I remember Pa built their house. Seems like most traditional male work is now outsourced, no reason not to outsource female work as well.

I work part-time and my husband travels quite a bit. So when he's gone, I do everything.

When he is in town, we are very 50/50 on grocery shopping, cooking, hanging out with kids/ carting them around, general house tidying, etc.. DH probably does more laundry stuff than I do and walks the dog more. I do more menu planning.

I do ALL logistics (signing up for activities, adult and kid social calendaring, volunteer stuff, vacation planning, carpool schedules, birthday parties, rsvps, kids' clothes shopping, doctor appointments, etc.) - but it's mostly stuff I like anyway. I do all tax prep but DH does more on forward looking financial planning.

It doesn't feel out of whack at all for us - unless DH criticizes something in my area of responsibility!

SAh does 75%

I work 15-20 hrs week. I do all kid stuff for our 3 kids, school stuff, laundry, groceries. I was doing all the cleaning, but it was too much, so we got a cleaner once a month to cut down on some of the deep cleaning.

DH mows the lawn, handles car care and cooks dinner 70 percent of the time. We split kid care/baths etc. once he’s home.

I do most of the bill paying and vacation planning. He handles investing.

Easy question. I do everything. My husband took me to his home country and I never complained about housework again. They do not have washers, dryers or dishwashers over there.

Sahm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.

Whatever. Unless you are Ma and Pa Ingalls, most people are outsourcing a lot.

I don't know many people outsourcing.

Really? Who built your furniture? Who butchered the meat you had for dinner? Grew the vegetables? Made your clothes?
Who changes the oil in your cars, repairs them when they break, does the plumbing, does the carpentry, teaches the kids to read and write, swim or play the piano? You don’t know a single person who outsources any of these things?
Most of us outsource a lot. It doesn’t make sense for most people to do everything on their own.

We clean our own house, do our own carpentry, taught our kids to read and write and do the plumbing. Many of us are capable of teaching our kids and doing our own work on the house.

Sahm: spend 30-60m cleaning during the day. I stay on top of finances and bills. I do 99% of cooking. But we eat out frequently when life gets crazy. I keep track of all projects and keep them moving forward from a planning perspective. I preschool co-op once/month. Do outdoor time, crafts, homework with kids. Take them to dance class. Some minor gardening. Would do more if that but toddler (and specific road location) doesn’t mix with letting me do landscaping. Sometimes tons of administrative/random stuff. All kids clothing updates.

Dh: earns all money. Does 0-2 small chores per day. Does almost all yard work. Stays on top of moving the big trash cans. Assists with cleanup if it gets crazy esp in Saturdays. As far as the projects that i track/manage, he’s the muscle doing he actual work—sometimes also moving things forward by just jumping in and doing stuff.

Equal bedtime effort, equal parenting (when he is here, obvs I do more bc I’m home more), equal car rides bc he drops off and I pick up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.

Whatever. Unless you are Ma and Pa Ingalls, most people are outsourcing a lot.

I don't know many people outsourcing.

Really? Who built your furniture? Who butchered the meat you had for dinner? Grew the vegetables? Made your clothes?
Who changes the oil in your cars, repairs them when they break, does the plumbing, does the carpentry, teaches the kids to read and write, swim or play the piano? You don’t know a single person who outsources any of these things?
Most of us outsource a lot. It doesn’t make sense for most people to do everything on their own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.

Whatever. Unless you are Ma and Pa Ingalls, most people are outsourcing a lot.

Straw man. We all know what outsourcing is. Cleaning ladies, yard work, carry out food every night, nanny

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.

Whatever. Unless you are Ma and Pa Ingalls, most people are outsourcing a lot.

I don't know many people outsourcing.

Anonymous wrote:Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.

Whatever. Unless you are Ma and Pa Ingalls, most people are outsourcing a lot.

Outsourcing is not you doing it as a SAHP.