Sounds like he needs more of your attention/love/time.

Sounds like a man baby.

Is this is a car he has been really wanting to get, saved up for, been driving an old car for awhile, loves cars, spent a lot of time looking to find the right one etc. then your reaction of complete indifference is cold and likely intentional. You don't have to love cars to care that he is getting something he is excited about.

His response is immature but so was your intentional lack of reaction or interest in something important to him.

You guys need counseling.

It sounds like a vicious cycle. He’s mad, you pull away, he’s madder. It sounds exhausting for you but maybe you can think about the love languages thing. He needs to work in better communication, maybe reading a book if he won’t see a counselor.

Anonymous wrote:Call him on it. Every time. Don’t tiptoe around his silent tantrums. I started doing this to DH. He acts all surprised when I tell him he’s acting like our child and needs to use his words. He gets pissed, but the tantrums are shorter and fewer.

+1. My DH gets cranky and talks in curt, annoyed tone sometimes. He wasn’t like this when he was younger but I think it’s age, stress and familiarity. I started calling him out on it EVERY TIME he does it. It leads to fights so sometimes I just want to let it go, but I still call it out because I don’t want this to be a pattern - this is how his father talks to his mother. I think DH is more careful about it, because he knows I will call it out (and we may get into a fight). But DH is otherwise a good and fair husband and listens to me when I tell him something bothers me.

Is this behavior only with you? Does it include your kids too and what about other family members and co-workers? Moody people suck the life out of me.

This sounds like a lot of women I know(maybe not as extreme). Some times people become their parents. What are his parent like?

Anonymous wrote:Have you spoken to him directly about this? Given him some data? Have you expressed how this is sucking the life out your marriage? Asked him if he is okay? Seething in silence won’t fix this.

From the OP, read the whole post to get clued in.

I won't discuss things, even important things, with him any more, as I dread his reaction. And then he won't tell me why he's mad - I have to figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:personality disorder

Yup. My mom is EXACTLY like this. She is borderline. She is trying to get help, but just changes therapists when she hears something she doesnt like. I have no idea how in the hell you can be married to someone like that. I can hardly take my mother a few times a year and she lives 30min away!

Anonymous wrote:He feels unloved.

While his reactions may not be appropriate, I agree with this. He doesn’t feel validated or loved and is lashing out in a immature way. I think you handle it from both sides - be more excited for him, more loving, etc. Also, gently address his inability to communicate.

Call him on it. Every time. Don’t tiptoe around his silent tantrums. I started doing this to DH. He acts all surprised when I tell him he’s acting like our child and needs to use his words. He gets pissed, but the tantrums are shorter and fewer.

You have to stop being scared of his reactions — if he wants to act like an a$$, that’s on him; don’t tip-toe around him and avoid stating how you feel. Stand up for yourself and stop tolerating his behavior.

PP who finally left the room after your DH treated you so poorly for years — what kept you from doing that earlier? Why did it take years to draw that boundary about basic respect? Why was it “huge” to assert yourself and leave the room?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I am not married to a drama queen husband. Any other questions?

Lovely way to help out the OP.

Take your snark somewhere else.

+100. With you on that !! Just shut up if you hv nothing better to say.

OP asked a question, and this PP is the only one who responded to it. Get off the internet if you don't no how to read.

To be helpful and actually answer you OP, no, I'm not married to an abusive ass. Sorry most of this thread doesn't address what you asked. As you know, intelligence doesn't run high here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I am not married to a drama queen husband. Any other questions?

Lovely way to help out the OP.

Take your snark somewhere else.

+100. With you on that !! Just shut up if you hv nothing better to say.

Anonymous wrote:No, I am not married to a drama queen husband. Any other questions?

Lovely way to help out the OP.

Take your snark somewhere else.