Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 13:23     Subject: Re:Letting DH down easy
"Dude, this just isn't anywhere near fun for me right now."
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 12:40     Subject: Re:Letting DH down easy
I don't get it. Three kids in to what seems a good relationship according to OP and you can't just talk to him about it honestly? You can't just say honey this is where I am with this what with being pregnant and all, I want you to know it's not you, I'm still interested in a good sex life and look forward to getting back to it when we're past this part. And you can let him know that doesn't mean no sex activity at all, just that you're not feeling yourself right now and the regular amount might not work. If he gives you trouble about it then is your marriage as good as you think it it? I can't imagine a loving husband reacting badly to this even if he knows he'll miss the sex. He's not a child.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 04:59     Subject: Letting DH down easy
Anonymous wrote:First of all I want to say that I love my DH. He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. We have 2 kids and I am expecting #3 in less than 6 weeks. One of the things I live about him is that he is very high drive and wants to have sex as often as I am willing to. We are usually 3 times a week on average, but I am starting to get very tired, I am huge and I am worried of preterm labor. I have had 2 C sections and I have another scheduled for when I will be 39+5. He has been really amazing lately picking up a lot of the work with the kids. When home, I am now often in bed or on the couch (this pregnancy has been hard) and he does basically everything when he is home. I am flattered that he still finds me attractive (I am not sure how that’s possible since I am 40 lbs over my usual weight), but I have no desire anymore and feel really bad telling him this. Sex is very important for him and in our relationship. I think maybe we can decrease to once or twice a week and the stop when I am 37 weeks... he has really been amazing while I have been useless and in a bad mood
is your hand too tired to use?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 02:11     Subject: Letting DH down easy
Suggest a girlfriend for him...
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2019 18:26     Subject: Letting DH down easy
Take pictures of yourself and tell him you would appreciate knowing he pleasures himself while looking at them. Write him erotic stories about what you would like to do to do after you have the baby and are in a better place sexually. Sex coupons work well too.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2019 16:00     Subject: Letting DH down easy
Anonymous wrote:Foot jobs for the win

I just threw up in my mouth a little.
cba
Post 01/19/2019 15:28     Subject: Re:Letting DH down easy




She’s tired. Can’t he just service himself?


Of course she's tired. She's pregnant. They're almost synonymous

He's also extra tired from doing all the housework OP can't do. It's not the same level but but that doesn't invalidate his feelings.

DH doesn't have the right to endless sex without consideration of how his wife feels, but don't forget that OP likes her husband's high sex drive! He could just service himself, but it's not the same. DH wants the sexual connection with his wife. There's nothing wrong with that. DW wants to please her husband that she loves by letting him down easily. IMO that's a pretty cool thing too. They just need to find a happy medium until the post-surgical recovery period is over, then it's back to what sounds like a very satisfying normal sex life
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2019 14:05     Subject: Letting DH down easy
Anonymous wrote:First of all I want to say that I love my DH. He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. We have 2 kids and I am expecting #3 in less than 6 weeks. One of the things I live about him is that he is very high drive and wants to have sex as often as I am willing to. We are usually 3 times a week on average, but I am starting to get very tired, I am huge and I am worried of preterm labor. I have had 2 C sections and I have another scheduled for when I will be 39+5. He has been really amazing lately picking up a lot of the work with the kids. When home, I am now often in bed or on the couch (this pregnancy has been hard) and he does basically everything when he is home. I am flattered that he still finds me attractive (I am not sure how that’s possible since I am 40 lbs over my usual weight), but I have no desire anymore and feel really bad telling him this. Sex is very important for him and in our relationship. I think maybe we can decrease to once or twice a week and the stop when I am 37 weeks... he has really been amazing while I have been useless and in a bad mood


DH here: does he even know you are feeling this way? I be shocked if a guy you described as this nice would fail to be understanding on this point.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2019 14:04     Subject: Re:Letting DH down easy
Warm lotion and a loving HJ. He will get his release.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2019 13:56     Subject: Letting DH down easy
Foot jobs for the win
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2019 13:20     Subject: Re:Letting DH down easy
Anonymous wrote:
cba wrote:A few thoughts from a couple that went through the same thing 20 years ago...

It is crucial that you tell him how you're feeling and keep him in the loop as to how you're feeling each day. He seems to be very understanding, but he's not a mind reader

I'm sure he's intellectually aware that it's not about him, but remind him anyway just in case he having a bad day. We men are more fragile than we seem.

Don't feel bad for how you're feeling. You're growing another human being inside of you. That's hard work!

Pregnant women are sexy!

Even though DH sounds like an amazing man, he still has sexual needs. Not necessarily a need for sex, but for a sexual release. BJs and HJs are very useful tools to get through tough times.

Don't forget this lack of desire is temporary. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Did I mention that pregnant women are sexy?

Hang in there!

Feel free to PM if you want to.



She’s tired. Can’t he just service himself?


A pregnant/non-pregnant woman has the right to not have sex if they are not willing. Having said that, an HJ is not labor intensive. I can imagine being averse to smells during BJs to not want that during pregnancy.

I don't think OP does not want sex with her DH or does not appreciate him. She is just at the stage in her pregnancy that a PIV is not something that she wants. If sex is important to the DH and she wants to be taking care of him too, then HJ is the easiest thing for a tired pregnant woman. Sexual desire and pleasure may diminish but the emotional connection with DH does not. This is not rocket science.