Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:54     Subject: Re:When is a better time to get pregnant?
Anonymous wrote:Why so vague on what you do?

Med school and doctor oath significantly different than NP/PA path.


yes, one can be 12 months long. one can be 12 years long depending on residency.
why are you so vague?
NP and MD training are like night and day in terms of length and difficulty.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:53     Subject: Re:When is a better time to get pregnant?
What's the actual field OP?
I'm an NP married to a doctor and could help you more if you were more specific.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:51     Subject: Re:When is a better time to get pregnant?
Why so vague on what you do?

Med school and doctor oath significantly different than NP/PA path.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:50     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
I had no control over the timing and arrival of my babies. Just an FYI, not everyone can work them in on a time line.

It may be best to go into this with a "this will all work out!" type of mind set. If your DH is on board, you will make it work.

But how long is residency? Years? Having that overlap with the most exhausting portion of parenting (infancy and toddlerhood) would not be ideal.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:49     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
Anonymous wrote:OP here- again this is how little I know about babies but our plan would be for me to take off 8-12 weeks (one pro of doing it earlier and in school is better maternity leave actually then in residency) and for husband to also take 8 weeks. By 16-20 weeks would baby be sleeping most of the night or should we plan for no sleep the first year at all. I agree with those saying not to wait- it stinks that I decided so late on this career path as I am stuck with having to have a child at times that are all non-ideal but I can't really wait.


Ha! My almost 2yo is a terrible sleeper still and gets up multiple times per night. You are really clueless, OP.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:49     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
Anonymous wrote:Pregnancy is harder physically than having a new born
Working on your feet is harder physically than studying for an exam
Having a newborn is harder on your brain than being pregnant
Studying for an exam is harder on your brain than working.

Therefore... study when pregnant and work with newborn.... it won’t be easy, but I think it’s the best solution and bonus point you will be younger!


Agree.

Also, a mobile older child (like 6 plus months) is mentally harder than a newborn because you need to watch him/her all the time and you need to start thinking about discipline/consequences/etc.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:47     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
OP, is your husband planning on being the default parent while you are the primary wage earner?
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:42     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
Anonymous wrote:OP here- again this is how little I know about babies but our plan would be for me to take off 8-12 weeks (one pro of doing it earlier and in school is better maternity leave actually then in residency) and for husband to also take 8 weeks. By 16-20 weeks would baby be sleeping most of the night or should we plan for no sleep the first year at all. I agree with those saying not to wait- it stinks that I decided so late on this career path as I am stuck with having to have a child at times that are all non-ideal but I can't really wait.


It really depends on the baby. I had one that slept through the night at about 20 weeks after some pretty rough (on me! he was fine ) sleep training, one that slept through the night just on his own by 16 weeks, and one that sleeps through the night 90% of the time now at um, 52 weeks despite all our best efforts to "fix" the problem sooner

I went back to work at 6 weeks with one and 12 weeks with another and both were OK...not sure I won any awards for best employee performance those first weeks back, but didn't drop the ball either.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:41     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
Anonymous wrote:OP here- again this is how little I know about babies but our plan would be for me to take off 8-12 weeks (one pro of doing it earlier and in school is better maternity leave actually then in residency) and for husband to also take 8 weeks. By 16-20 weeks would baby be sleeping most of the night or should we plan for no sleep the first year at all. I agree with those saying not to wait- it stinks that I decided so late on this career path as I am stuck with having to have a child at times that are all non-ideal but I can't really wait.


OP you won't know what type of sleeper you have until he/she is here.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:29     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
OP here- again this is how little I know about babies but our plan would be for me to take off 8-12 weeks (one pro of doing it earlier and in school is better maternity leave actually then in residency) and for husband to also take 8 weeks. By 16-20 weeks would baby be sleeping most of the night or should we plan for no sleep the first year at all. I agree with those saying not to wait- it stinks that I decided so late on this career path as I am stuck with having to have a child at times that are all non-ideal but I can't really wait.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:15     Subject: Re:When is a better time to get pregnant?
I don't want to be the downer here, but if you're in your mid thirties, I wouldn't assume that you can plan it/get pregnant so easily. It might happen when you plan, but it might not, or you may need ART intervention. My wife did at 28, and again in mid thirties.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:13     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
Anonymous wrote:I'd start sooner rather than later just b/c you don't actually know how long it'll take and it's impossible to know which will be the hard part for you. My first pregnancy I breezed through, working and working out intensely the whole time - I didn't miss a step. Second pregnancy has knocked me on my ass with exhaustion.

Baby #1 was super tough due to a variety of fairly common feeding / health issues. Some friends' babies have been relative breeze which also makes their transition to motherhood so much easier b/c they're not stressing over and obsessively tracking weight gain and oz eaten etc etc etc.

In retrospect you might feel like there was an ideal time for you, but until you experience your specific pregnancy and your specific newborn its really impossible to know.


Agree with you, my first pregnancy is a breeze, and second pregnancy I am on survival & dying mode with a toddler getting me sick all the time with sleep deprivation/exhaustion. I predict my second pregnancy maternity leave would be really painful but at least I am glad that my first born would be in full time daycare to give me a break to make it live through during the daytime.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 14:06     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
I am the PP that defended her dissertation at 34 weeks recently. I wanted to add that it depends a lot on what you study and what kind of job you have. In my case I had to think, write, be creative, etc. I cannot do any of those things if I am terribly sleep deprived. Also, it is VERY uncomfortable for me to stand for long periods of time (which I think it’s try for most pregnant women).
So for me (and from whT you wrote also for you) the decision is pretty easy.
Now, if you were a writer and you work consisted in sitting a desk 90% of the time, I would probably have suggested differently.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 13:59     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
My sister also defended her dissertation at 34 weeks pregnant. They started trying when she'd give birth after that and she got pregnant in the first go. Definitely NOT how she thought it'd go.

It is really hard to know OP. But I'd maybe choose pregnant and studying over pregnant and on my feet working 80 hours. The newborn part will be hard with 80 hour weeks for sure, but if your DH is on board, babies do get bigger.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2019 13:56     Subject: When is a better time to get pregnant?
Pregnancy is harder physically than having a new born
Working on your feet is harder physically than studying for an exam
Having a newborn is harder on your brain than being pregnant
Studying for an exam is harder on your brain than working.

Therefore... study when pregnant and work with newborn.... it won’t be easy, but I think it’s the best solution and bonus point you will be younger!