OP, now you know where you, your DH and kid stand with them vs. their dogs. Proceed accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:Specifically, my parents. They have two horribly behaved dogs. Large dogs that jumps, bark loudly if the wind blows (never mind if the mailman comes, ...Right now, my DH is recovering from a very serious eye injury. We won't know the extent of the damage and if it will result in needing a cornea transplant until it has fully healed in 3 to 5 months. The cornea specialist has been very clear that DH must avoid anything that can irritation and inflammation of his eye...

I've had dogs for decades and some we traveled with...those dogs from puppy on only went to accepting households and stayed on leash until old enough to do sit. stay, down. All ours know inside v outside behavior. With the DH allergies NO dogs should ever be allowed in the house. I have severe cat allergies and have reactions from dander where there isn't even a cat but when frantic on a plane for example people nearby have said they had cats.

Even without allergies you should not allow dogs with those behaviors in your house or on your property. What breeds or mixes are those dogs? The perfect out might be your homeowners policy. Ours has breed exclusions and if anything happened the claim would be void and we would be dropped from the carrier. That applies to dogs invited onto to the property and present with our consent .

My inlaws always brought their dogs and just assumed it was fine--and they've never heard of a crate, either. Once we planned (and paid for!) a weekend in the mountains with them during a long visit (otherwise they would just sit around our house the whole visit) and they resort didn't allow dogs so we had to board theirs at a very nice place close to our house. You would have thought we'd had them put to sleep the way MIL pouted the entire weekend. We ran into some friends and all she did was complain to them about the dog.

Now they don't travel anymore and last year we got a puppy. MIL freaked out about it coming to their house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:rescind invitation and revisit after DH is healed. Screw them.

They told me they're not coming, so.......

Good! Everyone wins. In situations like this you need a break from each other.

You need to reset the expectations. Now you know that they will not reciprocate at all in terms of being considerate, so set boundaries. No more dogs. Doctors orders. No exceptions.

Your parents need time to vent, get mad and understand that this is the new normal. They will come around when they start missing their family.

We’re about to get a puppy and every time I read posts like this I vow not to be the ahole dog owner! Do not give an inch OP: your parents are selfish and totally ridiculous

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those people who likes to bring my dog places - but I am horrified by these stories. I'm sorry the people you know are behaving so selfishly - not to mention making all dog owners look like crazy people.

OP: Do you know why your parents want to bring the dogs, even though they cause chaos - and health problems - in your home? If they just aren't sure where else to put them, can you help find a local doggie daycare where the dogs can play while your folks are at your house?

Because they're crazy selfish dog people. They won't board them, they won't use doggie day care, they're absolutely crazy when it comes to these dogs. My brother lives in Idaho. THEY DRIVE TO IDAHO with the dogs because they cannot bear the thought of doing anything without the dogs. Florida to Idaho and back again. This is not the behavior of rational people. Yet they think it is very normal.

The kicker is we didn't have dogs when I was growing up!

Anonymous wrote:rescind invitation and revisit after DH is healed. Screw them.

They told me they're not coming, so.......

Anonymous wrote:Your husband's allergies should trump having the dog's presence in the house, eye issue or no. I cannot stand when pet owners act like this - I have allergies too.

I don't care about the allergies or the eye issues. I wouldn't have someone else's dog in my house ever.

I am one of those people who likes to bring my dog places - but I am horrified by these stories. I'm sorry the people you know are behaving so selfishly - not to mention making all dog owners look like crazy people.

OP: Do you know why your parents want to bring the dogs, even though they cause chaos - and health problems - in your home? If they just aren't sure where else to put them, can you help find a local doggie daycare where the dogs can play while your folks are at your house?

Your husband's allergies should trump having the dog's presence in the house, eye issue or no. I cannot stand when pet owners act like this - I have allergies too.

rescind invitation and revisit after DH is healed. Screw them.

If they know it's NEVER AN OPTION AGAIN they'll adapt. Otherwise they'll just keep trying to get you to bend.

This is excellent advice. I'm the prior poster with the crazy aunt and tiny dog. You can't give an inch with people like this they will always angle and badger you to get what they want. You do have to make it never an option.

They leave their dogs, or don't come. End of story. No discussion. You can't reason with unreasonable people.

OMG yes! I've posted before about my crazy aunt. She's the one who insists on bringing her teacup dog everywhere. For Thanksgiving, she wanted to not only bring the dog but bring along her dog gates and pee pads to build a play and pee area. She usually does this in the host's kitchen! I said no because its gross and I don't want her dog peeing, even on pee pads anywhere on my hardwood floors. She shows up with the dog and gates asking where to set them up. I said outside and she was horrified. DH and I stood firm and she had the balls to try to argue that it could go into one of the kids room. Yeah no. She only lives 10 minutes away. They took the dog home and came back when she finally realized we wouldn't budge and then made snitty comments about how other small dogs misbehaving ruin it for well behaved dogs like hers. Argh.

She came to dinner another time and asked if she could bring the dog but keep it in her carrier on her lap. We said fine and put our large dog into a separate room. (It never occurs to her that its an imposition for us to have to put our large dog away when she comes over because she insists on bringing he dog.) She waltzes in and I kid you not puts the dog in the dog carrier up on the counter in the kitchen where I am prepping food. Later in the evening when DH put out large dog on a leash to take him for a walk she blocked his exit and was taunting our big dog with her little dog by opening up the carrier window and putting it next to my dogs face. She kept doing this even though we told her to stop it. She said that she thought that our dog would be fine and was of course angling to find more ways to give her dog free access to our home in the future. She is a fool as our dog is high strung, energetic, dog reactive to small dogs and weighs 20 times more than her teacup dog the size of a baby bunny. DH and I both said no again an she just giggled saying "oooh I'm such a little instigator" in this baby voice. I should have just let my big dog eat her little dog but the kids would have been horrified.

She has a fake emotional support animal letter so she can take her dog on all trips without an extra charge. Yes, she is one of those selfish a-holes that will end up making it more difficult in the long run for people who legitimately are under the care of a mental health expert and have a legitimate ESA.

OP - stand firm and just say no. Some dog owners are the worst.

So your parents are willing to risk your husband’s comfort and vision by bringing the dogs? Frankly, I’d have a hard time forgiving them for that selfishness, and I say this as someone who is hard to offend and forgives easily.