Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only problem is the “I” in your post.

What does your husband think?
And do you think your kids would be on board? Have they expressed interest in a sibling?

Kids don't get a vote on whether they have a sibling. If that were the case, half the children in America wouldn't be born.

I think in this case, they should. 3 kids are already a lot (I have 3 too) and there’s no way those kids don’t want more of their mom’s attention, especially given that she works out of the home. An adopted child would already look and feel different, the last thing they’d need is for their new siblings to totally resent that he or she is there and make a difficult process even more difficult.

OP - wow, watch yourself. Hopefully we are raising our kids to be more conscientious and kind then you. The child would “look and feel different”? FWIW our family is already biracial.

Kids can still feel different even if they are mixed as you are if you have 3 biological kids. For us, we spent maybe around $60K trying to adopt so in less you do foster adopt, it will easily be $20-80K.

OP - You must have missed the part when I said I am adopted myself and have extensively researched the country we want to adopt from.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only problem is the “I” in your post.

What does your husband think?
And do you think your kids would be on board? Have they expressed interest in a sibling?

Kids don't get a vote on whether they have a sibling. If that were the case, half the children in America wouldn't be born.

I think in this case, they should. 3 kids are already a lot (I have 3 too) and there’s no way those kids don’t want more of their mom’s attention, especially given that she works out of the home. An adopted child would already look and feel different, the last thing they’d need is for their new siblings to totally resent that he or she is there and make a difficult process even more difficult.

OP - wow, watch yourself. Hopefully we are raising our kids to be more conscientious and kind then you. The child would “look and feel different”? FWIW our family is already biracial.

Kids can still feel different even if they are mixed as you are if you have 3 biological kids. For us, we spent maybe around $60K trying to adopt so in less you do foster adopt, it will easily be $20-80K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only problem is the “I” in your post.

What does your husband think?
And do you think your kids would be on board? Have they expressed interest in a sibling?

Kids don't get a vote on whether they have a sibling. If that were the case, half the children in America wouldn't be born.

I think in this case, they should. 3 kids are already a lot (I have 3 too) and there’s no way those kids don’t want more of their mom’s attention, especially given that she works out of the home. An adopted child would already look and feel different, the last thing they’d need is for their new siblings to totally resent that he or she is there and make a difficult process even more difficult.

OP - wow, watch yourself. Hopefully we are raising our kids to be more conscientious and kind then you. The child would “look and feel different”? FWIW our family is already biracial.

Anonymous wrote:I would wait until my youngest was 5 years old.

I am planning on having a third but I am waiting until my second turns 4 so that the second and the third are 5 years apart.

I currently have only 2, and sometimes I feel like I cheated my first out of toddlerhood by having a second when the first was still 2.5.

I think younger kids need a lot of "physical" attention that spacing them out would help both your third and fourth child.

Anonymous wrote:If you’re independently wealthy and don’t need to work, you can afford it. Otherwise, you probably can’t afford your 3.

Anonymous wrote:I have 4. Going from three to four was easy in general.
Older kids are old enough to be mostly self sufficient. My youngest is 20ish months, and I love having a big family.
Some things to consider:
1. Activities with older kids: pps are right that that’s hard to manage the more kids you have. You have to be prepared to say no to things like travel sports. My kids can’t have more than two activities a season. If there were fewer of them, I would probably let them do whatever interests them.
2. Working ft becomes extremely tough: I take one day a week more or less off to just catch up at home. I understand what people mean by running a household. This wasn’t an issue when I had only three. All my sick days go to someone else other than me being sick.
3. Kids definitely feel like they get less attention: my oldest said at her school last year that being the eldest out of four was her biggest challenge in life. That made me pretty sad. It really is like the loud house (nick cartoon) an unfortunate amount of the time. I’m lucky my kids are healthy and not special needs, I wouldn’t have the ability to care for them otherwise.
I would never change anything with my family though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only problem is the “I” in your post.

What does your husband think?
And do you think your kids would be on board? Have they expressed interest in a sibling?

Kids don't get a vote on whether they have a sibling. If that were the case, half the children in America wouldn't be born.

I think in this case, they should. 3 kids are already a lot (I have 3 too) and there’s no way those kids don’t want more of their mom’s attention, especially given that she works out of the home. An adopted child would already look and feel different, the last thing they’d need is for their new siblings to totally resent that he or she is there and make a difficult process even more difficult.

Anonymous wrote:I think the only problem is the “I” in your post.

What does your husband think?
And do you think your kids would be on board? Have they expressed interest in a sibling?