Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 09:57     Subject: Re:Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
"Would you like to come up?" It's really not very difficult!
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:55     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Guy here. It has been a while, but when I was with a woman I liked, I would take it slow -- essentially let her lead. If you said, "how about coming up for a night cap?", it would happen.

But, no sane guy is going to invite himself up today.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:45     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Skyeblue wrote:OP, the other idea is to just let the pace set itself. You described a nice, slow linear progression towards getting to know each other. Physical by the 3rd date, that's good. Sex will come. Getting to know each other first keeps your head clear about who you both are (assuming you want a LTR).

I'm an ardent feminist and not against women having as much sex as they want but the older I get the more I think sex too early is a mistake, for both parties. Just one person's opinion. Best of luck to you.


Agree. Get to know him a little better before inviting him up to your place. This is for your own safety
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:35     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:Kissing at a restaurant is so gross. Ewww.


Don’t you have homework?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:14     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:Kissing at a restaurant is so gross. Ewww.


Agree.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:14     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is the sort of thing that either happens or it doesn't.

There is no way to manipulate someone else into being attracted to you. You either have that spark together or you don't.


Op here yeah I'm not really talking about how to make a guy like me

I'm talking about the awkwardness of how to ask someone up.

But maybe that's it. If he was into me, like I said, he could have given me more of an opportunity to ask him up by just kissing me, continuing to kiss me, and not saying good night.


You are afraid he’ll say no thanks. In the metoo era, few college educated men will take the initiative here. It’s up to you to invite the person up.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:13     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Kissing at a restaurant is so gross. Ewww.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 08:06     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Stop over-analyzing what he wanted and what he intended with the speed and whatever of his kiss. You wanted him to come up, so you should have asked him up.

"It's cold out here, let's go upstairs." Done.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 07:58     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Get your anxiety under control.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 07:57     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Want to come up for a glass of wine?" would work.


Tea, beer, movie, picture, dog, cat, painting, pen, pencil.... whatever works best in context. Tea or wine are usually the easiest.


Tea? Seriously? I don’t think I know any men who drink tea.


Well if you don't know ant they must not exist! Broaden your circle.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 07:54     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Want to come up for a glass of wine?" would work.


Tea, beer, movie, picture, dog, cat, painting, pen, pencil.... whatever works best in context. Tea or wine are usually the easiest.


Tea? Seriously? I don’t think I know any men who drink tea.
Skyeblue
Post 01/13/2019 07:50     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
OP, the other idea is to just let the pace set itself. You described a nice, slow linear progression towards getting to know each other. Physical by the 3rd date, that's good. Sex will come. Getting to know each other first keeps your head clear about who you both are (assuming you want a LTR).

I'm an ardent feminist and not against women having as much sex as they want but the older I get the more I think sex too early is a mistake, for both parties. Just one person's opinion. Best of luck to you.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 07:02     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Just ask - want to come up for a drink before you go?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 06:51     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is the sort of thing that either happens or it doesn't.

There is no way to manipulate someone else into being attracted to you. You either have that spark together or you don't.


Op here yeah I'm not really talking about how to make a guy like me

I'm talking about the awkwardness of how to ask someone up.

But maybe that's it. If he was into me, like I said, he could have given me more of an opportunity to ask him up by just kissing me, continuing to kiss me, and not saying good night.


Op, how long will he stand there kissing you? It’s usually something you mention before he kisses you, as you approach the door “a glass of wine?” “Some tea?” —— before he starts saying his goodbyes. Otherwise, he can end up looking foolish standing there kissing you until you decide to invite him. But do it as you reach the door and before the goodnight starts.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 06:46     Subject: Moving things from a kiss goodnight on the sidewalk to coming up to my apartment
Anonymous wrote:"Want to come up for a glass of wine?" would work.


Tea, beer, movie, picture, dog, cat, painting, pen, pencil.... whatever works best in context. Tea or wine are usually the easiest.