Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 18:56     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote: Both parents are heavily involved, moreso the father (me).

Mother had an affair. They do not know. I won’t tell them but would prefer mother did.

It’s relatively civil and there won’t be a custody fight. We at least agree they come first.


Why do you want your kids to know their mother had an affair? My exDH did a bunch of extremely crappy things in our marriage, some so awful I was embarrassed to tell anyone, so I ended up initiating a divorce. I've never told my kids any of that stuff, nor will I. You kids don't need to feel like they need to take sides in your divorce or like they are betraying you by still loving their mom as much as they did before. I guarantee you telling them will make this process more traumatic for them. If when they are fully independent adults you still feel the need to tell them, revisit the pros and cons.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 18:02     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Dear selfish divorcees, your kids would prefer a happy intact family



Yeah, we didn't have a happy intact family. Eat a bag of sanctimoneous male genetalia.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 18:00     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
They may have just saw it coming and are actually relieved. My brother and I were when it was us.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 17:57     Subject: Re:Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
They know Mommy's a wh0re.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 16:18     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:Dear selfish divorcees, your kids would prefer a happy intact family


Dear sanctimonious poster, DCUM would prefer you go away.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 15:35     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:
I begged my parents to get divorced.


I was happy my parents divorced.
red

You are both making shit up. Knock it off.


I was also relieved when my parents got divorced. My mom cried all the time. They yelled and threw things at walls (thankfully not me or each other). I hardly ever saw my dad because he avoided being home. Everything was so much better post-divorce. I was 10.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 15:14     Subject: Re:Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
All I have learned from this thread is that kids are psyched when their abusive parents divorce. That’s not exactly a glowing recommendation for it.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 15:14     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:Relieved, even.

I guess we should have decided this earlier.


Poor kids... For them to know, imagine how hard it's been for them
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 15:10     Subject: Re:Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:I would have been overjoyed if my parents divorced when I was a teenager. Living in a house where you wake up every Saturday AM not knowing if it will be quiet or people will be screaming at each other is very stressful.


+1.

Eventually, a few years after my parents divorced, I trusted that my father wouldn't beat the sh*t out of me if I said the wrong thing. He became more pleasant after they separated.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 15:04     Subject: Re:Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
I would have been overjoyed if my parents divorced when I was a teenager. Living in a house where you wake up every Saturday AM not knowing if it will be quiet or people will be screaming at each other is very stressful.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 14:37     Subject: Re:Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:My sister and I told my parents that if they don’t get their crap together or divorce, then we will both run away to a shelter. It was hell with them together. Love them both when they divorced


Tell us again about the time when you were 8 and you rebuked the racist and everyone else on the bus applauded.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 14:35     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:Dear selfish divorcees, your kids would prefer a happy intact family


Dear whoever wrote this, your kids would prefer a parent that isn't a self-righteous and judgmental asshat. Go away.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 14:10     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:Dear selfish divorcees, your kids would prefer a happy intact family


No shit. Wouldn’t everyone? But a happy separated family is better than an intact and miserable one.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 14:09     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
Anonymous wrote:Dear selfish divorcees, your kids would prefer a happy intact family


If that’s what you need to keep telling yourself so you can justify staying in a marriage that kills you on the inside.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2019 11:46     Subject: Told my kids we were divorcing and they were unfazed.
My husband was definitely relieved when his parents finally divorced. He was a teenager.