Anonymous wrote:

what age kids did you think it was useful to wait until to get the dog? I have 3 kids age 6.5, 4, and 11 months. the 6 and 4 year old want a dog SO badly but I feel like I should wait until the baby is potty trained, is more independent etc?

I think if you wait until the kids are 8.5, 6, and 3 you'll be fine depending on what type of dog you get. With younger kids, I would advise going to a breeder and getting a puppy that you raise with the kids.

Rescue dogs were given away by someone for some reason. Even if the reason was that the person didn't want to deal them, its still a red flag because that type of owner probably didn't socialize and train the dog well when they were younger. Some perfectly fine dogs develop issues when they spend time in shelters. With 3 young kid I would not go for a rescue animal unless it was a puppy BUT rescues will often not give puppies to households with small children.

OP here: thanks. I wouldnt get a rescue. I would probably get a puppy OR get a trained dog- some breeders sell therapy dogs etc. that didnt make the cut or 4 month old dogs that have gone through training

what age kids did you think it was useful to wait until to get the dog? I have 3 kids age 6.5, 4, and 11 months. the 6 and 4 year old want a dog SO badly but I feel like I should wait until the baby is potty trained, is more independent etc?

I think if you wait until the kids are 8.5, 6, and 3 you'll be fine depending on what type of dog you get. With younger kids, I would advise going to a breeder and getting a puppy that you raise with the kids.

Rescue dogs were given away by someone for some reason. Even if the reason was that the person didn't want to deal them, its still a red flag because that type of owner probably didn't socialize and train the dog well when they were younger. Some perfectly fine dogs develop issues when they spend time in shelters. With 3 young kid I would not go for a rescue animal unless it was a puppy BUT rescues will often not give puppies to households with small children.

Anonymous wrote:We got a puppy while the youngest was still a baby (older two were 6 and 4) and to be honest, I thought it was good timing. I'm a SAHM so that helps, and it wasn't my first dog. But I was already in the mindset of using baby gates, getting all the small choking hazards like legos and coins off the floor. Crate training helped a lot. Puppy napped when the baby napped.

Now obviously I didn't expect the kids to help out with the dog - the dog is four years old now and only now are the kids expected to have dog related chores like pick up after her, feed her etc. It was all on me. It was a ton of work juggling kids and puppy but now that they are all older, I'm glad I did it when I did. They all kind of grew up together, and the dog is very tolerant of child-related noises and actions.

OP here: that's like me. oldest are 6 and 4, baby is 11 months. I work from home part time, so I am always home, and I also have a nanny. I grew up with dogs, but haven't owned my own dog as an adult.

I would wait as I said until the youngest is less in need of constant supervision.

Anonymous wrote:We got a puppy when my kids were 5, 3 and 8 months. It's been great actually. Dog always knows where she is in the pack, never had to deal with jealousy issues. Slightly exhausting in the very beginning when I would have the puppy in one arm and a baby in the other arm at 6am to bring the dog outside to pee.

We did luck out with a great dog though, she slept through the night in her crate immediately, house trained without too much trouble, and our trainer told us, "This is the best dog I've ever seen around kids."

I will say, DH and I got this dog because we really wanted a dog for our family. We didn't get her for our kids at all. Which is good, because our kids do nothing for her except occasionally dump a cup of food in her bowl when requested. (And even that might require several requests and is accompanied by eye rolling and heavy sighs.)

What breed of dog is this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A responsible breeder will not sell you a dog if the youngest child is not at least 7.

WHAT? I dont think that's true, AT ALL. why?

It's not true at all. I have two dogs from reputable family-home breeders both of which I took in with young children in the home.

We got a puppy while the youngest was still a baby (older two were 6 and 4) and to be honest, I thought it was good timing. I'm a SAHM so that helps, and it wasn't my first dog. But I was already in the mindset of using baby gates, getting all the small choking hazards like legos and coins off the floor. Crate training helped a lot. Puppy napped when the baby napped.

Now obviously I didn't expect the kids to help out with the dog - the dog is four years old now and only now are the kids expected to have dog related chores like pick up after her, feed her etc. It was all on me. It was a ton of work juggling kids and puppy but now that they are all older, I'm glad I did it when I did. They all kind of grew up together, and the dog is very tolerant of child-related noises and actions.

Our kids were 13, 8 and 6 when we got our dog as a puppy last year. We adopted from our local humane society.

Anonymous wrote:We had a cat before kids.

And then when dd was 1.5, we got a 1.5yo golden retriever.

At first it was annoying. He’s so large, and a feather could practically knock her over. So if he walked by her it seemed like she fell every time.

But she has loved him and doesn’t remember life without him. She and the dog are 7yo now. We have added two more kids who also dont know life without him.

Side note: dd can’t wait til he dies...still a ways off... lol. She wants a medium sized dog. 4yo heard this and got really upset. When it does happen, the youngest of the three kids will probably be the most upset. But we’ll get a puppy within a year.

Btw the cat is still around. She HATES that we brought home 3 kids and a dog. She is antisocial. Except for the last newborn phase, she started getting really interested in the baby for once. She also lets him come the closest. STILL does not like the 7yo. So weird.

For our family too, we’ve always felt like the dog was for me and DH. I wouldn’t ever give them TO my kid, because the responsibility will never really be theirs. We don’t mind doing all the work, and the kids help us on their own free will.

We had a cat before kids.

And then when dd was 1.5, we got a 1.5yo golden retriever.

At first it was annoying. He’s so large, and a feather could practically knock her over. So if he walked by her it seemed like she fell every time.

But she has loved him and doesn’t remember life without him. She and the dog are 7yo now. We have added two more kids who also dont know life without him.

Side note: dd can’t wait til he dies...still a ways off... lol. She wants a medium sized dog. 4yo heard this and got really upset. When it does happen, the youngest of the three kids will probably be the most upset. But we’ll get a puppy within a year.

I think the younger the dog, the older the kid. I WOHM and couldn't do it with a puppy with a 1yo, but an older dog might work.

OP- it may depend on the dog breed and whether your kids are likely to follow directions to help with training. Puppies are soooo hard. They either need to be contained or under constant supervision. Depending on the breed, that stage could go on for awhile.

If you can't train consistently, the dog can get into really bad habits that are hard to break. Potty training can be the worst- vet said it's why she always recommends crate training- accidents in the house and destructive behavior are big reasons why dogs are re-homed or put into shelters.

I would get a dog with the idea that it's a mutual relationship- not just for your kids. We got a dog years ago for our son and quickly realized that we were in over our head (he was three)- we ended up giving the dog to a family (selected by our breeder) who had more experience and older kids. Everyone was happier, but I still live with the guilt that I got the dog for how it would benefit us, vs. really considering the dog's needs.

We had two dogs, one died, we adopted a second within 6 months. DS happened to be 5 at the time, but we would have done the same thing regardless of age.

I only adopt adult dogs though—never done the puppy stage. Puppies require a lot of supervision that you may not be able to provide if you have very young children.

We got a puppy when my kids were 5, 3 and 8 months. It's been great actually. Dog always knows where she is in the pack, never had to deal with jealousy issues. Slightly exhausting in the very beginning when I would have the puppy in one arm and a baby in the other arm at 6am to bring the dog outside to pee.

We did luck out with a great dog though, she slept through the night in her crate immediately, house trained without too much trouble, and our trainer told us, "This is the best dog I've ever seen around kids."

I will say, DH and I got this dog because we really wanted a dog for our family. We didn't get her for our kids at all. Which is good, because our kids do nothing for her except occasionally dump a cup of food in her bowl when requested. (And even that might require several requests and is accompanied by eye rolling and heavy sighs.)

Anonymous wrote:OP here: if I wait till the youngest is 5, then the oldest will be 11, and I don't feel like it's fair to make him wait that long since he loves dogs the most and then will have the shortest time with it before college etc. I feel like if youngest 3, middle 6, and oldest 9?

We waited until the youngest was in kindergarten and the oldest was 11. Oldest still got seven years with the dog before college, and college has longish breaks.

I think the key is to have kids who can be left alone for 15 minutes while you walk the dog because that scenario will come up -- spouse traveling, fence broken, whatever. If that's true of your 3YO, then 3 would be fine.

I got a dog when my son was 2.5, but it was an adult dog and I already had another dog (so it wasn't the culture shock of going from animal free to puppy).

Be prepared to get push back from rescues and some breeders if you choose to get one with young children. Don't take it personally, just keep looking--someone will give you a dog if you really want one. We ended up with the perfect pup for our home who is bffs with my now 4.5 year old.