Anonymous wrote:If you are from ANYWHERE, then you should have learned a long time ago to avoid the uncle on crack, cousin on meth, or brother on opiates. It's one thing to meet at Waffle House but definitely not with a child.

Anonymous wrote:I recently went back to Ohio and found out my brother is on and off heroin. We went to dinner with my 1 year old and every other word was wtf. I asked him to stop but he did not take that well. He was obnoxious at dinner. It was awful. What would you do in the future? Should I have my dad visit me? I live in coastal Florida so it wouldn't be a big deal for my parents to visit us. We could give them skymiles/ gift him a flight. My dad doesn't have a lot of savings so I would feel better paying for his flight. He also loves the beach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went back to Ohio and found out my brother is on and off heroin. We went to dinner with my 1 year old and every other word was wtf. I asked him to stop but he did not take that well. He was obnoxious at dinner. It was awful. What would you do in the future? Should I have my dad visit me? I live in coastal Florida so it wouldn't be a big deal for my parents to visit us. We could give them skymiles/ gift him a flight. My dad doesn't have a lot of savings so I would feel better paying for his flight. He also loves the beach.

Definitely go with your gut here, OP, and start setting aside a flight fund so you can fly dad to see you. Have dad to see you more often because he may find it stressful living near your brother.

If dad questions why you want to give him trips, you need to be ready with an answer; if you haven't normally paid for dad to fly to you he might wonder why things have changed (even if he's also pleased at coming to see you). Is your dad/are other family members fully acknowledging that brother is a drug user, or do they make excuses for him or try to gloss over his behavior? I would not have this conversation over the phone or by e-mail while dad's still in Ohio, though; i'd wait and have it in person when he's with you in Florida.

Does your brother live with your dad, OP? If so--you absolutely must buy the tickets directly for dad and not send money, just in case brother gets his hands on the money. I'd want to script out way to approach dad, when he's visiting with you, about whether brother is doing things like borrowing (or stealing) money from dad for drugs (or getting money claiming it's for rent or whatever -- you know it'd be going on drugs).

If you feel your dad would defend your brother, deny there is drug use, etc. then maybe you need to put off that conversation for a while. But meanwhile, have dad to come see you for sure.

OP here: My brother does not live with my dad and my dad is not supportive of him using drugs. He told me when my brother is clearly on drugs he will tell him to leave his house. Apparently he has stolen like 5 tvs from my dad. I can't believe my brother has girlfriends. Most of the time they have $$$$

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went back to Ohio and found out my brother is on and off heroin. We went to dinner with my 1 year old and every other word was wtf. I asked him to stop but he did not take that well. He was obnoxious at dinner. It was awful. What would you do in the future? Should I have my dad visit me? I live in coastal Florida so it wouldn't be a big deal for my parents to visit us. We could give them skymiles/ gift him a flight. My dad doesn't have a lot of savings so I would feel better paying for his flight. He also loves the beach.

Definitely go with your gut here, OP, and start setting aside a flight fund so you can fly dad to see you. Have dad to see you more often because he may find it stressful living near your brother.

If dad questions why you want to give him trips, you need to be ready with an answer; if you haven't normally paid for dad to fly to you he might wonder why things have changed (even if he's also pleased at coming to see you). Is your dad/are other family members fully acknowledging that brother is a drug user, or do they make excuses for him or try to gloss over his behavior? I would not have this conversation over the phone or by e-mail while dad's still in Ohio, though; i'd wait and have it in person when he's with you in Florida.

Does your brother live with your dad, OP? If so--you absolutely must buy the tickets directly for dad and not send money, just in case brother gets his hands on the money. I'd want to script out way to approach dad, when he's visiting with you, about whether brother is doing things like borrowing (or stealing) money from dad for drugs (or getting money claiming it's for rent or whatever -- you know it'd be going on drugs).

If you feel your dad would defend your brother, deny there is drug use, etc. then maybe you need to put off that conversation for a while. But meanwhile, have dad to come see you for sure.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin, who was raised more like a brother to me, has been an addict for almost 30 years now, meth, cocaine, heroin, opioids, anything. He has stolen fro me, my parents, our grandparents, his brother and his mother while she died in hospice. He crashed my wedding and stole money from the gift table. He’s been in and out of jail for possession and dealing. He’s in his 50s. I have zero empathy for him, some addicts are greedy, selfish, and terrible. I don’t know about OP’s brother but my experience with an addict relative has been horrific. My children have never met him, I blocked him on all social media and I have done everything I can to make sure he doesn’t even know where I live because if he did he would just pop by unannounced to ask for money or a ride or food or whatever. If he ever did show up and didn’t leave immediately I would call the police.

I don’t want him around my kids whatsoever. Nothing good comes out of it. Nothing. Posters on here need real experience with a true long term addict to get it. Good luck to you OP.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin, who was raised more like a brother to me, has been an addict for almost 30 years now, meth, cocaine, heroin, opioids, anything. He has stolen fro me, my parents, our grandparents, his brother and his mother while she died in hospice. He crashed my wedding and stole money from the gift table. He’s been in and out of jail for possession and dealing. He’s in his 50s. I have zero empathy for him, some addicts are greedy, selfish, and terrible. I don’t know about OP’s brother but my experience with an addict relative has been horrific. My children have never met him, I blocked him on all social media and I have done everything I can to make sure he doesn’t even know where I live because if he did he would just pop by unannounced to ask for money or a ride or food or whatever. If he ever did show up and didn’t leave immediately I would call the police.

I don’t want him around my kids whatsoever. Nothing good comes out of it. Nothing. Posters on here need real experience with a true long term addict to get it. Good luck to you OP.

Anonymous wrote:If you are from Ohio, then you should have learned a long time ago to avoid the uncle on crack, cousin on meth, or brother on opiates. It's one thing to meet at Waffle House but definitely not with a child.