Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He might be relieved. I was.

Did you pretend to be hurt by her ending it?

I acted just a little bit hurt.

It's not that hard. Don't ghost because that leaves him wondering and he may continue to try to contact you and possibly do it at an inappropriate time. Meet for coffee, be honest, tell him this isn't who you are and you need to stop. He will likely ask for one for the road and that's when you reply "were you even listening to anything I said" and walk out. There's a decent chance he's competitive enough that he will try to contact you a few more times. Don't respond. He will move on in short order.

It took months for me to finally officially end it with my AP! Good luck and please ignore these people calling you names. They are probably living miserable sexless lives...

Anonymous wrote:Tell him your husband found out and that he will make a stink of it with the CEO if it doesn't stop. You can be sure he values his job over you.

Surprised that it took this long for someone else to notice that the OP and her AP work together!

That means a simple "just ghost him" won't work.

Yeah, OP can try the tactic above, but the AP will still be someone she sees regularly through work. Temptation will be there. OP, you cannot claim you are committed to focusing on your marriage and family if you stay in a job where you see, or even just occasionally run into, your former AP. You know what you ought to do. Are you going to let "Finding another job is too hard/not doable/woul derail my career" get in the way of really committing to your marriage?

Tell him your husband found out and that he will make a stink of it with the CEO if it doesn't stop. You can be sure he values his job over you.

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you want his baby.

My former unmarried AP used to constantly tell me he wanted to get me pregnant. Come to think of it, when I was the OW with a married man many years ago he would constantly try to get me pregnant. So, that's not the deterrent you think it is.

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, it's much easier to dump a male AP than a female. The man usually just wants sex and affection and will likely back off. AP women are notorious for wanting revenge.

Yes, think about the bunny boiling away on the stove!

Tell him you want his baby.

Send him this: https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm and tell him you need to talk to him ASAP.

He will lose your number quickly.

Anonymous wrote:Ghost. No explanations. Men get territorial when they think they are losing a good sex partner. Take it from someone who has been there, not married though, and tried to explain that I didn't want to continue.

Its NSA sex, dont give him a string.

+1000. Just ignore and pretend he is dead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you break up with your AP that it is a clean cut end? He is not married, we work at the same place, have been hooking up like once a month since last 6 months on common business trips. I decided to work on my marriage and family.

Just curious... why this sudden realization, and what does working on your marriage and family look like?

"New Year, new you!"

Duh.

Anonymous wrote:As someone just dumped by my AP in a kind of b.s. way that left the door open, I would be completely honest with the guy and tell him exactly what you told us. I cannot tell you much I would have appreciated complete transparency.
Anyway, your guy is single. He'll have no problem finding sex elsewhere.
Good luck. I'm working on my marriage now and it is so hard. It's like drug withdrawal.

How long did it last? And did you only decide to work on your marriage because you were dumped? So really, how hard are you working on it?

Anonymous wrote:He might be relieved. I was.

Did you pretend to be hurt by her ending it?

As someone just dumped by my AP in a kind of b.s. way that left the door open, I would be completely honest with the guy and tell him exactly what you told us. I cannot tell you much I would have appreciated complete transparency.
Anyway, your guy is single. He'll have no problem finding sex elsewhere.
Good luck. I'm working on my marriage now and it is so hard. It's like drug withdrawal.

He might be relieved. I was.