So the newborn's mum is your SIL too, right?

I'd do the photos as promised and if you get grief, remind the mean SIL how she treated you in the past and that life is easier when you are nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay out of it and let her big mouth speak for itself. It always does - at which point, it will get back to you, and you and everyone els can have a good laugh.

Did you read my previous comment? Should I bail on the newborn pictures?

No. Support her as much as you can. Isolate the mean one support the nice one.

There are really two issues here - although both related to your SIL:
1. Your SIL bad mouths people. You should not allow her to do so in your presence, regardless of who she is talking about. Change the subject or, if she keeps coming back to it, be firm in telling her that you will not listen to her bad mouth people. This is a healthy boundary.
2. You should not make choices based on how your SIL will react. Again, healthy boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay out of it and let her big mouth speak for itself. It always does - at which point, it will get back to you, and you and everyone els can have a good laugh.

Did you read my previous comment? Should I bail on the newborn pictures?

NO! Why should your other SIL suffer?

Also, she's not my other sister in law. She's my sister in law's brother's wife.

(By your description, she is indeed your sister-in-law. Or she's you.)

OP's mean sister-in-law is OP's husband's brother's wife. Let's call her Amy. The other SIL OP is referencing is Amy's brother's wife. So no relation to OP.

No. There is OP, OP’s DH, HIS twin sister (mean girl), and HER DH’s brother’s wife (new SIL).

This is correct, and still no relation to OP. It’s not hard to figure out. Not sure why people get weird about this sort of thing.

Don't make any choices based on "not upsetting" the crazy SIL. Make sure your DH is on board and will back you up. It'd also be a kindness to new SIL on the other side to gently hint you were mistreated by this person too. "Yes, Amy is complicated person, she's said some tough things to me in the past".

But in general, I'd avoid the SIL's extended family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay out of it and let her big mouth speak for itself. It always does - at which point, it will get back to you, and you and everyone els can have a good laugh.

Did you read my previous comment? Should I bail on the newborn pictures?

NO! Why should your other SIL suffer?

Also, she's not my other sister in law. She's my sister in law's brother's wife.

(By your description, she is indeed your sister-in-law. Or she's you.)

OP's mean sister-in-law is OP's husband's brother's wife. Let's call her Amy. The other SIL OP is referencing is Amy's brother's wife. So no relation to OP.

No. There is OP, OP’s DH, HIS twin sister (mean girl), and HER DH’s brother’s wife (new SIL).

Don't bail on the photos. You be you - the person who made that offer, the person who draws boundaries around crazy, the person who can live her life the way she chooses - regardless of idiotic behavior of others.

Keep your head up above the fray OP.