Anonymous wrote:OP, please note that you will be paying a substantial early withdrawal penalty PLUS income taxes on the money you withdraw. Run the numbers. You could lose half your TSP to the penalty and taxes, and it may not be worth it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need immediate legal advice. I would close all those accounts and stop giving him access to credit in your name. Do no touch the TSP until you have legal advice. I’m concerned you will be giving this loser palimoney and part of your retirement assets. Again please get some good legal advice. Can you appeal the innocent spouse?
This
Thirding this - please, please, please get legal advice on this before you take out yet another loan for him. A divorce attorney will usually do a free initial consultation.
Also, as someone else mentioned, retirement plan loans usually involve spousal approval. I had to get mine to sign off on the 401K loan we used for part of our first home downpayment, and, when they were looking into a TSP loan, I would have had to sign the paperwork for that. No reason to think that your spouse wouldn't sign off on you bailing him out again, but just be aware of the likely requirement.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You must be w the Feds for a while to have that much in TSP. That means you probably have a sizable FERS. You can always live abroad for a fraction of the price andive like a queen on SS and FERS alone. You'll still have a sizable TSP left over + money from a home left over if you have one. Living abroad really isn't that scary.
OP here. I’d love to live abroad, but DH (or future XH) would never let me leave CONUS with the kids.
Thanks for the advice; sounds like I should go for the TSP loan. I’ve already applied for innocent spouse relief but was denied because they apparently want to see a police report or some other documented abuse. I never had credit card debt until we started using my cards for joint expenses, and I’m confident
I can stay debt-free as long as he’s out of the picture.
The reason I want a divorce isn’t that his business failed but that he made pretty much a unilateral decision to quit his job and put all his money into the business, and actually got annoyed with me when I questioned whether it would be a good idea when we had no savings but rather a large debt with the IRS, which I forgot to mention put a lien on the house, so we can’t even do a refi to pay down any of the debt. And even though i’m the sole breadwinner, i’m still the one doing most, if not all, of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, child care, etc., while he’a glued to his laptop or phone all day, ostensibly in the name of “business opportunities.”
Ugh, thanks for letting me vent. I know some of this belongs in the Relationship forum.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need immediate legal advice. I would close all those accounts and stop giving him access to credit in your name. Do no touch the TSP until you have legal advice. I’m concerned you will be giving this loser palimoney and part of your retirement assets. Again please get some good legal advice. Can you appeal the innocent spouse?
This
Anonymous wrote:OP that sucks but I think you are right that a TSP loan makes sense here. On the bright side, if we head into a recession your TSP balance might be better off in the end “invested” in your loan for a few years than in the stock market.
Good reminder for others as we head into tax season that the IRS expects you to review your taxes and have a basic understanding of what’s going on, even if someone else prepares them.