My mom does stuff like this - I think she’s very concerned about slippery slopes and fairness between siblings - like if Maria thinks she can just ask me to pick up groceries for her and pay for them, soon it’ll be expensive items! It’s silly but nbd

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bigger question is how many spears did everyone get?

THIS IS SPEARTA!!!!

Lol

Super weird. My parents and my in-laws are the opposite. They insist on paying for everything. They are wealthy. We are not rich, but certainly more than comfortable. They never let us pay for anything. We are the same way with our adult kids. We always pay.

My mother is like this. She keeps trying to pay me if I pick up something on the way there, and expects me to pay if she picks something up for me. So I deal with my father instead - no money changes hands in either direction. (Like OP, no one is hurting for money, and it’s not like we’re picking up televisions or cars).

Anonymous wrote:The bigger question is how many spears did everyone get?

LOL. I had forgotten. Thanks for the grin!

OP the fact that this bothered you so much that you had to post here makes you seem way more petty and materialistic than your FIL. He probably just did it without thinking.

My ILs are the opposite. If we picked up asparagus, my MIL would demand to know exactly how much it was so she could pay us back exactly. We're very comfortable, a small amount like that does not matter at all. All of her children are doing fine, yet she does it with each of them. We all find it annoying, as it's like an attitude of "I will not be in your debt for anything". And she insists we go find the receipt when we're all trying to have a nice family get-together and not think about money matters. But that's just the way they are.

Yeah this is super weird. No one in my family would do this and my retired parents have like 10% of what yours have.

Anonymous wrote:They likely think that their frugality is one reason for their success. They also likely worry about leaving big chunks of money to their children. They will feel better about passing on their money if they believe you all are similarly frugal with what they earned. Indulge their frugality; it’s in your interest.

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:Alternatively, it is weird to ask you guests to buy food for the dinner to which you have invited them without reimbursement.

Myabe not frugality per se, but a keen (and not at all unhealthy) sense of boundaries. (BTW I am LMC)

No its not. My parents are local and we eat together a couple times a month. I've asked them to pick up.an item on the way and vice versa; has,never been an issue.

It's weird but something very small. People do weird stuff as they get older. I find frugal people sometimes can't let go of their frugal habits. If this is the worst thing they are doing, then be thankful.

Petty

Alternatively, it is weird to ask you guests to buy food for the dinner to which you have invited them without reimbursement.

Myabe not frugality per se, but a keen (and not at all unhealthy) sense of boundaries. (BTW I am LMC)

It is kind of weird, but that's probably the reason they are worth millions. Think of it as a reimbursement now, considering you all may inherit quite a bit.

Anonymous wrote:They likely think that their frugality is one reason for their success. They also likely worry about leaving big chunks of money to their children. They will feel better about passing on their money if they believe you all are similarly frugal with what they earned. Indulge their frugality; it’s in your interest.

Good response