I am the PP who doesn't like her ILs.

They would never be rude to anyone, they just have different opinions than we do (not sure how my DH survived/escaped from them). If we all stay away from politics and religion, we are all fine. And my friends know how I feel and how the ILs feel, and all are polite and kind to each other.

My DH knows how I feel, and he feels similarly. It is challenging to communicate with his parents - not just me, he also doesn't communicate well with them. TBH, I don't think they know how to communicate well. That my DH can is a testament to his character, and years of therapy (he is a GREAT communicator).

His siblings are challenging because they are religious zealots in a religion that we do not practice. Again, the rule is no discussing religion or politics. So that leaves us talking about the kids (who are young adults now), work, weather, sports, various vacations, etc. The young adults are more interesting to me (nieces and nephews), and I try to make certain I spend time alone talking with them at some point. That part is easy - "Larlo, can you give me a hand in the kitchen for a moment?"

And thank goodness for sports. Football is king with DHs family (mine wouldn't know the Redskins from the Capitals), so Christmas talk is all about who will/won't be in the playoffs and who will win the Superbowl. I became a fan while we were dating because I needed a safe topic with DHs parents. I probably am more aware than DH at this point of anything football!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like my ILs - any of them. I love them, because they are my husband's family, but I do not like them and would not choose to be friends with them. We are opposites in every way (I am a loud, direct, liberal, Yankee and they are southern, conservative and quiet/passive aggressive).

I host them twice a year (Thanksgiving and Easter), and am a "more the merrier" type - I invite others who will be pleasant and sociable. And there is NO TALKING POLITICS. If someone tries we cut them off and change the subject (and repeat if necessary).

Sure, someone else could host, but we do.

What if you invite friends (to buffer the ILs harsh personalities) and they are rude to your friends?

Then I wouldn't invite friends.

How does your Dh feel about this?

Anonymous wrote:I don't like my ILs - any of them. I love them, because they are my husband's family, but I do not like them and would not choose to be friends with them. We are opposites in every way (I am a loud, direct, liberal, Yankee and they are southern, conservative and quiet/passive aggressive).

I host them twice a year (Thanksgiving and Easter), and am a "more the merrier" type - I invite others who will be pleasant and sociable. And there is NO TALKING POLITICS. If someone tries we cut them off and change the subject (and repeat if necessary).

Sure, someone else could host, but we do.

What if you invite friends (to buffer the ILs harsh personalities) and they are rude to your friends?

I have no problem hosting at all. I am also in the more the merrier camp for such kinds of gatherings. No, I do not care that I host. I have a house that is perfect for hosting large groups and I have a system in place for the logistics of hosting.

I also get together with some of my close friends in small and intimate gatherings. These women have my heart.

I don't like my ILs - any of them. I love them, because they are my husband's family, but I do not like them and would not choose to be friends with them. We are opposites in every way (I am a loud, direct, liberal, Yankee and they are southern, conservative and quiet/passive aggressive).

I host them twice a year (Thanksgiving and Easter), and am a "more the merrier" type - I invite others who will be pleasant and sociable. And there is NO TALKING POLITICS. If someone tries we cut them off and change the subject (and repeat if necessary).

Sure, someone else could host, but we do.