Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 17:50     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:My DH makes 100k and I make 50k. We feel so poor and like we can't afford a life here.We're in our early thirties.

What do other people do?



Live in apartment. Drive old cars into the ground. We concentrate on education, medical, and international travel. The other trappings of middle class life are less appealing to us.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 17:43     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Most of my coworkers make that much and are on a single income woth stay at home moms with multiple kids. They don’t live in MoCo and don’t vacation to Europe and drive to the beach and I’ve never seen them go out for lunch. But they seem happy and their spouses and kids are lovely and doing well in school from what I hear. They do all have commutes however.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 17:40     Subject: Re:Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
We don't compare ourselves to other people. We don't expect to be rich like Kardashians. We talk about doing for others, and do it.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 17:36     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
We made the same money in our early 30s as OP, but we also did not have student loans - I think that can make a big difference in whether or not you feel stretched at $150K.

I would give the same advice as many others have - track your spending to see where you money is going, then create a budget that prioritizes what you want out of life and stick to it. I think the tracking part is really important because most people see the big expenses but don't see where the dribs and drabs of their money (that add up to a lot) go.

We used Mint for quite some time, but we not use You Need a Budget (YNAB). Mint is free; YNAB is not, but I like the budgeting forward rather than backward concept of YNAB.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 15:03     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so discordant. On one hand, you have the posts where people wring their hands over making *only* $300K per year and say that anything under $200K in this area is poor (which is ridiculous). On the other hand, you have posts like this where people making what are truly moderate incomes for this area are reprimanded for not being able to make it on said moderate incomes.

It is great that some people were able to buy houses a long time ago for a small amount, but that is not the case for most people. We have a 60s-era rambler that cost $499K, and that was 10 years ago. It was the cheapest thing we could find in a reasonably good school district and safe, non-gang infested area. My commute is too long. Houses in our neighborhood now go for $650K, and trust me these are not extravagant. Could we buy a 2 bedroom condo farther out in VA? Yes, but then I would have a 90 minute commute.

The reality is that it is hard to make it in this area with kids. Increasingly, the metro DC area is for Biglaw partners and lobbyists.


I agree. Our HHI is $160k. Overall we feel pretty fortunate- I was able to pay off my student loans before we had kids (had #1 when I was 35) and DH didn’t have loans at all, so he was able to put $ aside for a house down payment. Bought a shitshack in silver spring in 2012 for $425k and will probably be there for the long haul. Now with 2 kids in daycare it’s tight but manageable, we’ll pay off my car in s few months and DH will drive his till it dies. My sister and BIL, in contrast, have a HHI around $100k (although should go up when BIL finishes his post-doc) both are carrying student loans in their early-mid 30s, probably won’t be buying a house anytime soon but didn’t want to wait longer to start a family. I don’t blame them, but they are admittedly nervous about it all. Her job is portable, so if BIL can find a job in his field elsewhere they will likely move away, sadly.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 13:40     Subject: Re:Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:HHI of about $185K. Family of 4. Own a 2 level condo in Arlington, we have school loans, no credit card balances, cars paid off. With our income we travel internationally for vacation every year, go out as a family a couple of times a month.

We budget, prioritize and track our expenses weekly.


Share some tips!!


I use to be super broke as a single mom so It's important for me that my family and I keep to our budgets so that we have money for the extra stuff.

We have monthly spending budgets for personal and things like groceries, eating out, etc. I have it all laid out on a spreadsheet to track. We mostly stay on budget. My husband spends a bit more but I am very frugal so it balances out. Aside from already allocating funds a month to a savings, any time we are under our spending budgets we throw in extra amounts into savings account to fund trips/things for future/or for clothes for our teen girls. We both cook breakfast and dinner pretty much every day. We are pretty good cooks. It irks me to spend so much money on groceries and not use it and instead go out to eat. We do go out to dinner, order in, but not regularly.

Other things that let us spend money on other things are - we live close to where we work, no cable, we search for free events in the area first (lots of events in the area if you look). I almost never pay full price for anything. I am always researching for the best deal.

I purchased my condo in 2015. At the time we were approved for much more than what we actually used to buy. We weighed the pros and cons and we preferred to have a smaller mortgage/home while still having enough space for us and in a location that was convenient to our jobs. Could have bought a bigger place further out but I am not a fan of long commutes.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:57     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so discordant. On one hand, you have the posts where people wring their hands over making *only* $300K per year and say that anything under $200K in this area is poor (which is ridiculous). On the other hand, you have posts like this where people making what are truly moderate incomes for this area are reprimanded for not being able to make it on said moderate incomes.

It is great that some people were able to buy houses a long time ago for a small amount, but that is not the case for most people. We have a 60s-era rambler that cost $499K, and that was 10 years ago. It was the cheapest thing we could find in a reasonably good school district and safe, non-gang infested area. My commute is too long. Houses in our neighborhood now go for $650K, and trust me these are not extravagant. Could we buy a 2 bedroom condo farther out in VA? Yes, but then I would have a 90 minute commute.

The reality is that it is hard to make it in this area with kids. Increasingly, the metro DC area is for Biglaw partners and lobbyists.


100% agree.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:40     Subject: Re:Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We make $130,000 and have one DD. I dont understand why you cant manage?
We have a small SFH that cost 360,000 we pay a mortage on, My 2007 Honda is paid off but DW's newer Ford is not. We can't afford private school and DD attends the local ES which happens to be a Focus school that so far we are happy with.
But we travel twice a year, DD gets to do swimming, gymnastics etc and goes to nice summer camps for a few weeks each summer. We like to go to shows so we do that when a show comes along we want to see.
We don't eat out a lot mainly due to us both doing shift work but we do when we want to and have the time. We get together with friends at each others houses or go for hikes with other families.
I don't compare my life to those making $500,000, it would drive me crazy. We have a nice life and i am happy with it. 2010

( We live in eastern Moco)


when did you buy it?
2010. Houses in our neighborhood are high 300s/low 400s now.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:40     Subject: Re:Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We make $130,000 and have one DD. I dont understand why you cant manage?
We have a small SFH that cost 360,000 we pay a mortage on, My 2007 Honda is paid off but DW's newer Ford is not. We can't afford private school and DD attends the local ES which happens to be a Focus school that so far we are happy with.
But we travel twice a year, DD gets to do swimming, gymnastics etc and goes to nice summer camps for a few weeks each summer. We like to go to shows so we do that when a show comes along we want to see.
We don't eat out a lot mainly due to us both doing shift work but we do when we want to and have the time. We get together with friends at each others houses or go for hikes with other families.
I don't compare my life to those making $500,000, it would drive me crazy. We have a nice life and i am happy with it. 2010

( We live in eastern Moco)


when did you buy it?
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:19     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:Earn more. There's plenty of opportunities to hustle and earn more than $50k in this area.


Op here. I am struggling in my career. Currently work in marketing operations for 50k.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:15     Subject: Re:Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:HHI of about $185K. Family of 4. Own a 2 level condo in Arlington, we have school loans, no credit card balances, cars paid off. With our income we travel internationally for vacation every year, go out as a family a couple of times a month.

We budget, prioritize and track our expenses weekly.


Share some tips!!
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:13     Subject: Re:Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
HHI of about $185K. Family of 4. Own a 2 level condo in Arlington, we have school loans, no credit card balances, cars paid off. With our income we travel internationally for vacation every year, go out as a family a couple of times a month.

We budget, prioritize and track our expenses weekly.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:08     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Earn more. There's plenty of opportunities to hustle and earn more than $50k in this area.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 12:07     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
We do it on less than you about $100k total with 2 kids. We live in a run down house, couldn't scrape together $400 and constantly stress and argue about money. Totally doable!

Make a budget. Actually track where the money goes (really!). Don't eat out. Pass on lots of activities - skiing, airplane travel, getting hair done, music lessons, team sports.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2018 11:58     Subject: Middle class people how do you raise a family here?
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is so discordant. On one hand, you have the posts where people wring their hands over making *only* $300K per year and say that anything under $200K in this area is poor (which is ridiculous). On the other hand, you have posts like this where people making what are truly moderate incomes for this area are reprimanded for not being able to make it on said moderate incomes.

It is great that some people were able to buy houses a long time ago for a small amount, but that is not the case for most people. We have a 60s-era rambler that cost $499K, and that was 10 years ago. It was the cheapest thing we could find in a reasonably good school district and safe, non-gang infested area. My commute is too long. Houses in our neighborhood now go for $650K, and trust me these are not extravagant. Could we buy a 2 bedroom condo farther out in VA? Yes, but then I would have a 90 minute commute.

The reality is that it is hard to make it in this area with kids. Increasingly, the metro DC area is for Biglaw partners and lobbyists.


You can’t have everything. We bought a $360K townhouse and have the 60-90 minute commute. We could’ve moved closer in and bought a $499K rambler 10 years ago. Well no, we couldn’t afford to go that high with our salary- $415K max. But, I would’ve been very nervous about it needing lots of home repairs. You have to decide what’s more important to you.