Anonymous wrote:Do t burn DH vacation days for rude, self centered houseguests overstaying their invite

Oh, he doesn't have to take off work. But he damn well is cooking every dinner, making every grocery run, running extra loads of laundry for their towels, and setting up every pot of coffee the night before or the morning of.

Yeah, he can still go to work, but he is sure going to be one busy effing bee.

Do t burn DH vacation days for rude, self centered houseguests overstaying their invite

Anonymous wrote:Find them an Air BnB or cheap hotel nearby

5 days at your house, 5 days elsewhere.

Time for your DH to grow up.

Anonymous wrote:Insist that your DH s off work for those 5 additional days and make hm handle meals etc.

This seems like rewarding the ILs for not listening - more time with their DS! Generally I think it’s a good idea for DH (or DW) to take time off when their parents are in town, but not in this instance.

Anonymous wrote:You should go somewhere, OP. Go visit a friend, go for a yoga retreat, whatever floats your boat. Your husband can manage the kids and his parents. You said the timing wouldn’t work...for all they know this was why!

+100. Sounds like you just got yourself a few days away from the family!

Are you my SIL? My ILs come and stay forever. And my H and I fight about it every time. Once, they came for 16 nights. They pull the same crap, agreeing to dates, the “waiting” to buy tickets and oh it’s so much cheaper if we come 3 more days on either end and then they just book it!!!!

Thankfully I work full time...if I had to be in the house with them every day I’m afraid I’d end up in prison or something.

Recently, if they come for these extended visits. I will leave in the middle. I leave the kids, them, and H. They can figure it out, there are 3 adults. I go visit friends or family or try to plan a work trip in the middle. At least that breaks it up into two normal size visits instead of the drudgery of weeks in a row.

Lots of good suggestions here. Sounds like this trip is already an issue but to prevent future occurrences, I’d make the guest room a lot less comfortable. Turn it into an office or something useful but not cozy and bring out folding cots for them to sleep on. Or a pull-out futon or something. Worked for us, although it was due more to my needing a dedicated office for telework. But still kind of a win-win for me, I guess.

I love my parents and my in-laws. They live across the county. And still, they never stay more than three nights. I would go out of my mind with ten days. OP, I think I would find a reason to be out of town for at least part of the visit. Ask your DH to give you a solo trip to the mountains for Christmas.

Your husband just decided to take an extra five days off. He has to feel the consequences or he will continue to let them do whatever. I would plan a girls weekend or weekend away like others have suggested. Sounds like he’s getting some great quality time with his parents and kids - yay!

Go visit your family for 5 days if your husband can’t take time off to deal with his own parents.

I would suddenly have a business trip I had to go on. So go to work, but stay in a hotel at night. DH can deal with in-laws and kids.

If you SAH, visit your parents for those 5 days. Taking the kids is optional.

I would be reluctant to leave them alone in my home for 5 days if they are so disrespectful of boundaries. I’d prefer they stay at a hotel, but if they are brazen enough to book a flight for 5 days longer than they’re invited for I doubt they’ll go peacefully. And if your DH wont back you up on a 5 day limit, I doubt he’ll back you on a hotel requirement either. I think you lost this round. You need to up the stakes with your DH the next time.

Unless you’re ok with them staying in your home without you. Then you can take the kids and leave for the extra 5 days, assuming they won’t snoop or rearrange your kitchen or or go through your mail or whatever while you’re gone.

1) If you can, take kids and leave for the 5 days, or

2) You leave the kids behind and you go on a vacation for 5 days (or at least the weekend portion)

3) You do N.O.T.H.I.N.G for them for those 5 days. "Host" the first 5 days, then drop off the face of the Earth.
-Do not set up coffee in the morning or make breakfast/set out breakfast for anyone other than yourself/your kids.
-Do not buy extra food when grocery shopping. If you run out, shrug and send them out/tell them to ask DH when he plans to go shopping next.
-Make dinner for only yourself and your kids. DH can make their dinner, or they can make their own.
-Do not change out towels or sheets; that's on DH, or they can help themselves to the washing machine/linen closet.
-Take your kids to a movie.
Etc., etc. No NOTHING when it comes to "hosting" the second set of 5 days. DH can pick up the slack, or not. Not your problem.

They stay 5 other days in a hotel. Their lack of planning is not your problem.

They are calling your bluff, you have to leave town with the kids during the second 5 days.