Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 15:03     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
My mother would totally do this to protest that she doesn't like the way we spell it. In fact she mispronounces her own nieces' name because she doesn't like the way it sounds.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 15:03     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Anonymous wrote:My daughter (5) has had a best friend since early on in the daycare days. We see the family socially every few weeks for play dates, birthday parties, etc.

The mom always, ALWAYS spells my daughter's name incorrectly. It's not an unusual name--think correct spelling is Lindsey and this mom always spells it Lindsay.

Obviously, not a big deal. But we text a lot to make arrangements, and why would it go like this?

Me: Lindsey is eager to see Julia! How about next Sunday at our place at 10?

Her: Julia would love to see Lindsay next weekend!

Birthday cards, invitations, texts, emails, EVERYTHING is misspelled, even though she sees her name in writing a LOT. Their cubbies were next to each other in daycare.

Should I say something? Or (being paranoid here), is this intentional/passive agressive? I cannot imagine why, but why would you respond to a text where you saw the correct spelling two seconds ago with the incorrect spelling?


I’m pretty sure it’s not intentional seriously. I have a family member that adores my daughter and she has misspelled her name wrong for many years now by one letter. It’s just what it is.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 15:00     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
+1 on the disabilities call. Sounds to me like she’s dyslexic or something similar or even just a terrible speller. You’re reading too much into it.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 14:43     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
In defense of the passive aggressive theory, there’s a guy at my job who had been showing interest in me and I rebuffed him. Prior to the rebuffing he spelled my name properly, however, post rebuffing he has begun misspelling it. My name has one ‘n’ in it and he now adds two, lol. I won’t correct him because I know it’s intentional.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 14:30     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Decades long friends still misspell my last name, they add letters. It used to bother me. Now I think it’s sort of cute and would never correct them.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 14:08     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:no one cares or notices the exact spelling of your child's name. it only matters to you. what difference does it make


OP here. You're all right, I see that, I really do. I don't notice as much if she texts FIRST to see if "Lindsay" wants to come over. But if I JUST texted "Lindsey" and it is right there in front of her...I just don't understand.


If it helps you to understand, I am a professional in my 40's who has many learning disabilities that are severe. I LITERALLY could not see a difference in spelling in your OP and I read it twice. I finally used my fingers to cover the two names and showed myself one letter at a time to finally find the letters that didn't match. I also didn't see the difference from the poster who used the Kristen/Kristin example.

I don't tell anyone I have learning disabilities. I just screw things up and apologize a lot when I figure it out or get called out on it.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 14:03     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Anonymous wrote:I can't tell you how many people spell my daughter's name Sara/Sarah. It's not a referendum on how much they like her.


This one happens all of the time to me and I’m not offended. I even do it often with quick texting and autocorrect because I have friends, moms and myself with this name. I am not always double checking to see if the h is there or not there. No one cares. I don’t either.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:59     Subject: Re:Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Start spelling her daughter's name incorrectly.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:42     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Anonymous wrote:The mom always, ALWAYS spells my daughter's name incorrectly. It's not an unusual name--think correct spelling is Lindsey and this mom always spells it Lindsay.

OP it sounds to me like her phone's autocorrect.
Next time, just text the mom, "FYI do you realize you're still spelling Lindsey's name wrong? "ey" at the end, not "ay"
You can train your phone to learn spelling of names you type frequently.
https://www.wired.com/2014/03/make-autocorrect-suck-less/


Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:37     Subject: Re:Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
My name is spelled in a slightly-non-traditional way, and it is therefore frequently misspelled by friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and even extended family. (Think Michele vs Michelle, Briana vs. Brianna, or Anna vs. Ana)

I've stopped being sensitive about it. It is a waste of my energy to get my panties in a bunch about such a small issue.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:34     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
My DD is 10 and my brother and his wife still spell her name incorrectly, despite seeing it in writing a million times. Don't let it bother you, OP. Or just point it out to her in a matter-of-fact way once. "Btw, it's 'Lindsey' with an 'e.' "
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:31     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
OP I would not stress out about this! She probably knows another Lindsay/Lindsey and doesn't "see" her error. Or her phone corrects automatically. After one of your email exchanges and after whatever it is that you are planning with her has been accomplished, I'd send one more email on that string, and just write,

I'm so glad the kids are getting together at 10am tomorrow. btw, I just wanted to mention that Lindsay's name is spelled "Lindsay" with an "A" not Lindsey with an "E." I know the name is spelled both ways and people get it wrong all the time. Just want you to know, because the kids are such good friends!


So by doing it this way, you help her save face. Help her save face, OP. I'm pretty sure she does not mean to be doing this and will be pretty embarrassed.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:31     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
People are clueless. I would not see this as anything else.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:27     Subject: Re:Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
obviously she is not a person who pays attention to detail.
my name is Michelle with two Ls. that's how my mom spelled it. some people just insist on using only one L. even in emails responding to me where I have signed my name. maybe they know someone who has just one L. who cares?
some people just don't care to take the time/are too wrapped up in their own life to notice those details and I make a mental note of who they are. may come in handy someday.
I would tell her if it really bothers you but otherwise, just carry on. her mistake.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 13:18     Subject: Spelling daughter's name wrong: Correct? Passive agressive?
Anonymous wrote:Stop with your passive-aggressive way of handling it. Send her a text that says “My daughter’s name is actually spelled this way.”


This isn't fair. I take ownership that I haven't addressed it with her/brought it up/corrected her, but I have NOT been passive aggessive about it. I have not written to her or communicated with her in a way any different than I do with any of our other friends.