Anonymous wrote:

pp: sounds a lot like my boy, who could also count to 100 early on and knew all his letters and sounds too. He was a kid who was very interested in abstract things, I suppose? Now very good at math, was an early reader. But at that age, yeah, I could not hold a conversation with him. He repeated a lot of phrases. He talked about what he wanted to talk about, and did not care about following the direction of his conversational partner. My girl was much more socially aware. I was worried that he was on the spectrum, because preschool kept flagging these things, but he wasn't. He simply matured more slowly in those areas, and much more quickly in academic areas. Now he's five and I can absolutely have a conversation with him and he plays well with friends.

I would get an evaluation for your peace of mind, but wouldn't be so worried if your preschool keeps harping on these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone,

Thank you for all the replies. I should add that both our twins started at this school in what is essentially the "infant" class--the starter classroom, with kids as young as 18 months. Once they demonstrate enough self-sufficiency in that class, they "graduate" to the class that is largely made up of 3-5 year olds, in which there are fewer teachers to students. My son is still in that first class and apparently shows little signs of being ready to move on, according to them, while my daughter has moved on to the 3-5 year old class.

I also feel like all this stress and judgment about a kid who literally just turned three less than a month ago is frankly a bit nuts. And it's certainly taking its toll on me--I can think about virtually nothing else all day other than, "Is my son normal?" But I don't want to make excuses and I don't want blind optimism or wishful thinking to prevent us from taking action to help him along in his development, if in fact that's what he needs.

Again, thank you all. It helps to have a forum in which to talk about this.

Follow this instinct, OP. This IS NUTS. Find another school- doesn't really matter whether it's montessori or play based. But move them. This is insane.

np: I agree. I have a girl and a boy. People are so right when they say girls mature faster than boys. They are not twins (girl is older) but I could see there was a real difference in their maturity at the same age. My DS also went to a preschool where they loved to send boys for evaluations and therapy. One year I think half the class was in some kind of therapy (speech, OT, para) and yes, it was 90 percent boys. I think every boy except one. I wasted so much time wondering "is my son normal?" Fast forward to K/1st grade, the differences have evened out.

This school sounds like way too much pressure on little kids.

Thanks. I'm also cognizant of the fact that boys are overwhelmingly the ones judged deficient in early schooling. During my daughter's glowing parent-teacher discussions, it occurred to me that virtually every metric they were evaluating the children on were things that girls were naturally going to be better at. Meanwhile, my son could count to 100 by age two. He loves letters and numbers and concepts.

Then again, there are other boys in his class who are doing fine. Apparently only two kids have been asked to leave this school in its five-year history. Looks like my boy will be number three.

Again, I don't want to let wishful thinking prevent me from getting my son the expert help he needs, if indeed he needs help. But these thoughts have occurred to me--it seems that young boys are being thought of as defective girls at this stage in their development, and I don't think that's fair.

--Jeff Morris

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone,

Thank you for all the replies. I should add that both our twins started at this school in what is essentially the "infant" class--the starter classroom, with kids as young as 18 months. Once they demonstrate enough self-sufficiency in that class, they "graduate" to the class that is largely made up of 3-5 year olds, in which there are fewer teachers to students. My son is still in that first class and apparently shows little signs of being ready to move on, according to them, while my daughter has moved on to the 3-5 year old class.

I also feel like all this stress and judgment about a kid who literally just turned three less than a month ago is frankly a bit nuts. And it's certainly taking its toll on me--I can think about virtually nothing else all day other than, "Is my son normal?" But I don't want to make excuses and I don't want blind optimism or wishful thinking to prevent us from taking action to help him along in his development, if in fact that's what he needs.

Again, thank you all. It helps to have a forum in which to talk about this.

Follow this instinct, OP. This IS NUTS. Find another school- doesn't really matter whether it's montessori or play based. But move them. This is insane.

np: I agree. I have a girl and a boy. People are so right when they say girls mature faster than boys. They are not twins (girl is older) but I could see there was a real difference in their maturity at the same age. My DS also went to a preschool where they loved to send boys for evaluations and therapy. One year I think half the class was in some kind of therapy (speech, OT, para) and yes, it was 90 percent boys. I think every boy except one. I wasted so much time wondering "is my son normal?" Fast forward to K/1st grade, the differences have evened out.

This school sounds like way too much pressure on little kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone,

Thank you for all the replies. I should add that both our twins started at this school in what is essentially the "infant" class--the starter classroom, with kids as young as 18 months. Once they demonstrate enough self-sufficiency in that class, they "graduate" to the class that is largely made up of 3-5 year olds, in which there are fewer teachers to students. My son is still in that first class and apparently shows little signs of being ready to move on, according to them, while my daughter has moved on to the 3-5 year old class.

I also feel like all this stress and judgment about a kid who literally just turned three less than a month ago is frankly a bit nuts. And it's certainly taking its toll on me--I can think about virtually nothing else all day other than, "Is my son normal?" But I don't want to make excuses and I don't want blind optimism or wishful thinking to prevent us from taking action to help him along in his development, if in fact that's what he needs.

Again, thank you all. It helps to have a forum in which to talk about this.

Follow this instinct, OP. This IS NUTS. Find another school- doesn't really matter whether it's montessori or play based. But move them. This is insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The added information about his verbal skills actually makes me lean toward getting another evaluation done. Have you spoken with their pediatrician about these concerns? I'm a clinical social worker, and while the eye contact thing would probably not bother me as much as it's bothering the teachers, combined with his verbal skills, it would warrant a little more exploration. I definitely agree that he behaves differently at school than he does at home - most kids do. If he is on track with meeting milestones otherwise, it might indicate some kind of a communication delay that can be addressed.

I asked about your school plan because I think that you're going to need a new option sooner rather than later, for your son's sake.

We raised the school's concerns with his pediatrician earlier this year. Her opinion at the time was that he was showing no particular signs of delay. She performed a brief developmental check at his 2.5-year appointment, and another at his three-year appointment. Still no concerns from her, although I'd like to discuss the situation with her further, and discuss with her the trouble he's still having in school.

We are definitely proceeding with getting another evaluation done, through the DC Strong Start program--he wasn't yet three years old when the first evaluation was conducted, but now that he's three I understand there are some other things they can test. Meanwhile I have begun researching other pre-schools that we could try. A Rocketship school actually opened up in our neighborhood in SE, literally down the street from our house. Notwithstanding my lingering bias against DC schools, we'll look into this one as well.

Thank you.

--Jeff Morris

Anonymous wrote:Everyone,

Thank you for all the replies. I should add that both our twins started at this school in what is essentially the "infant" class--the starter classroom, with kids as young as 18 months. Once they demonstrate enough self-sufficiency in that class, they "graduate" to the class that is largely made up of 3-5 year olds, in which there are fewer teachers to students. My son is still in that first class and apparently shows little signs of being ready to move on, according to them, while my daughter has moved on to the 3-5 year old class.

I also feel like all this stress and judgment about a kid who literally just turned three less than a month ago is frankly a bit nuts. And it's certainly taking its toll on me--I can think about virtually nothing else all day other than, "Is my son normal?" But I don't want to make excuses and I don't want blind optimism or wishful thinking to prevent us from taking action to help him along in his development, if in fact that's what he needs.

Again, thank you all. It helps to have a forum in which to talk about this.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone,

Thank you for all the replies. I should add that both our twins started at this school in what is essentially the "infant" class--the starter classroom, with kids as young as 18 months. Once they demonstrate enough self-sufficiency in that class, they "graduate" to the class that is largely made up of 3-5 year olds, in which there are fewer teachers to students. My son is still in that first class and apparently shows little signs of being ready to move on, according to them, while my daughter has moved on to the 3-5 year old class.

I also feel like all this stress and judgment about a kid who literally just turned three less than a month ago is frankly a bit nuts. And it's certainly taking its toll on me--I can think about virtually nothing else all day other than, "Is my son normal?" But I don't want to make excuses and I don't want blind optimism or wishful thinking to prevent us from taking action to help him along in his development, if in fact that's what he needs.

Again, thank you all. It helps to have a forum in which to talk about this.