Honestly, I think most parents aren't what the OP describes. I understand that she's clearly gone through a terrible time and anyone who followed her and took pictures of her was in the wrong (and potentially committed harassment/stalking), but I wonder if she's "seeing" for "feeling" behavior that isn't happening because of the trauma that she's had to deal with. Most parents I know don't have the time to wage some sort of campaign against people they think might not live in DC. Even if the possibility is discussed once or twice, it never goes further than that and kids and their families are not excluded because of any such possibility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

It is one thing to report someone to OSSE and keep it to yourself, letting the chips fall where they may.

It is quite another to gossip with other people about whether they too suspect Suzy isn't a DC resident and/or to take pictures and FOLLOW HER CAR HOME.

I agree that the one person who followed her and took pictures went too far, but if parents at a school suspect a family of residency fraud they are going to talk about it - if for no other reason than to verify that their suspicions may be valid and thus merit reporting in the first place. I don't think gossiping about others is acceptable, but that is the world we live in. Chances are if one other family noticed a possible residency cheat, others did too. For sometime now there is has been great suspicion that OSSE is dropping the ball regarding residency fraud. While I do not think other parents have any right to know the outcome of a possible investigation, it is not unreasonable to continue to worry that residency fraud is occurring if you don't believe OSSE has done anything about it.

Gossiping about one of your kid's schoolmates with other parents is really bad (whether it is about where they live, about their parents who seem weird, whether the kid has some sort of disability, whatever). You do NOT need to validate your own suspicions with others. Own your own decision.

And regarding what's 'reasonable' -- it is unreasonable to continue to worry after you report it. You report it and if nothing happens you need to assume that they were able to prove they were residents and you exhale.

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting to get the call next. My daughter's class had a writer's workshop publishing party. She proudly read her author's bio "...and I live in Rockville, Maryland!" Even though we alternate custody each week, she sees my ex's house as temporary living quarters. Maybe it's because my ex is in a two bedroom apartment, and I'm in a townhouse. Either way, I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

Don't overthink it. In this case your ex also applied to that school based on his address. No need to discuss it further.
I was in a studio and nobody asked questions. But my DL, taxe returns, mortgage, condo workers, paycheck, real estate taxes and condo cameras all puts me into the studio.
Where they put the child mostly is a different story. We share custody, but I'm not going to tell my kid to stay with me more because government wants to see it. They want to go see hockey, baseball and I work some nights.

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for posting, OP.

Some posters on residency threads in previous months and years were giving really aggressive advice, such as following parents around to find evidence of residency fraud. I hope they or someone else didn't take a DCUM comment to heart!

Peace. Remember that most people are decent!

Unfortunately, on this topic, I don't think that most people are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

It is one thing to report someone to OSSE and keep it to yourself, letting the chips fall where they may.

It is quite another to gossip with other people about whether they too suspect Suzy isn't a DC resident and/or to take pictures and FOLLOW HER CAR HOME.

I agree that the one person who followed her and took pictures went too far, but if parents at a school suspect a family of residency fraud they are going to talk about it - if for no other reason than to verify that their suspicions may be valid and thus merit reporting in the first place. I don't think gossiping about others is acceptable, but that is the world we live in. Chances are if one other family noticed a possible residency cheat, others did too. For sometime now there is has been great suspicion that OSSE is dropping the ball regarding residency fraud. While I do not think other parents have any right to know the outcome of a possible investigation, it is not unreasonable to continue to worry that residency fraud is occurring if you don't believe OSSE has done anything about it.

Gossiping about one of your kid's schoolmates with other parents is really bad (whether it is about where they live, about their parents who seem weird, whether the kid has some sort of disability, whatever). You do NOT need to validate your own suspicions with others. Own your own decision.

And regarding what's 'reasonable' -- it is unreasonable to continue to worry after you report it. You report it and if nothing happens you need to assume that they were able to prove they were residents and you exhale.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

It is one thing to report someone to OSSE and keep it to yourself, letting the chips fall where they may.

It is quite another to gossip with other people about whether they too suspect Suzy isn't a DC resident and/or to take pictures and FOLLOW HER CAR HOME.

I agree that the one person who followed her and took pictures went too far, but if parents at a school suspect a family of residency fraud they are going to talk about it - if for no other reason than to verify that their suspicions may be valid and thus merit reporting in the first place. I don't think gossiping about others is acceptable, but that is the world we live in. Chances are if one other family noticed a possible residency cheat, others did too. For sometime now there is has been great suspicion that OSSE is dropping the ball regarding residency fraud. While I do not think other parents have any right to know the outcome of a possible investigation, it is not unreasonable to continue to worry that residency fraud is occurring if you don't believe OSSE has done anything about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

It is one thing to report someone to OSSE and keep it to yourself, letting the chips fall where they may.

It is quite another to gossip with other people about whether they too suspect Suzy isn't a DC resident and/or to take pictures and FOLLOW HER CAR HOME.

Yes. But, that's not what the OP is complaining about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

It is one thing to report someone to OSSE and keep it to yourself, letting the chips fall where they may.

It is quite another to gossip with other people about whether they too suspect Suzy isn't a DC resident and/or to take pictures and FOLLOW HER CAR HOME.

Yep!

Anonymous wrote:I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

It is one thing to report someone to OSSE and keep it to yourself, letting the chips fall where they may.

It is quite another to gossip with other people about whether they too suspect Suzy isn't a DC resident and/or to take pictures and FOLLOW HER CAR HOME.

I don't think previous posters don't understood why OP is upset and angry, but I do think they take issue with the OP's implication that suspicion of residency fraud shouldn't be reported because it might hurt others. People who report suspected residency fraud aren't typically trying to hurt someone, they are trying to protect spots in DC schools for DC residents.

All these posters who don't understand why OP is upset and angry---just because she's innocent---are being naive. We all know what school communities are like. People talk. I think OP explained very well how uncomfortable it is to be accused of something like this. Try having some empathy for once. And OP didn't say "don't report," she just said "report carefully." A valid thing to consider.

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting to get the call next. My daughter's class had a writer's workshop publishing party. She proudly read her author's bio "...and I live in Rockville, Maryland!" Even though we alternate custody each week, she sees my ex's house as temporary living quarters. Maybe it's because my ex is in a two bedroom apartment, and I'm in a townhouse. Either way, I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

Something similar happen to us. We live in DC, our street is named for a neaboring state. My 1st grade kid told everybody we lived on that state. A family, that I was very friendly with, questioned us fairly aggressive about our residence and life. It took me weeks to discover what was going on. I only discovered after another family nicely told me that some people may be wondering about our living arrangements. I quickly explained the misunderstanding but my friendship never recovered with the family that started to cast doubt on our family.

In my case, I would have prefer somebody asking me directly about my residency instead of spreading rumors.

Wow.

Such horrible posters on this thread.

How would you feel if we automatically assumed you were lying next time you posted about a stressful event in your lives?

Anonymous wrote:OP you are an outlier. 99.999% of cheaters are just cheaters. Your anger should be focused at them.

Best of luck to you.

Of those accused? Really.

I think the OP means that even though the school cleared her, they aren't going to announce it to all the parents. So she's probably still being followed, photographed, and harrassed by other parents who don't know she's been investigated and cleared.

OP, presumably the counselor and social worker would know what your family was going through because you would have/should have told them. In which case, when step one happened, OSSE contacted the school, the whole thing would have been explained and the investigation would have gone no further.

Did you not tell the school of your temporary change in address when it happened?