Anonymous wrote:Help DCUM....We may be moving there but I know absolutely nothing about the area. DH will have a job but I won’t (I’m in Gov’t consulting and just don’t have a network there). We have 2 kids (6 and 7 ) so schools are important. And we’re AA. Any advice or recommendations?

I am AA too and heading there. Wish we could connect.

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Anonymous wrote:
Third, be prepared for major culture, social, and identity shock - especially if you SAH and end up living in a less diverse area. I have been really lonely and not being skinny/blonde/30s/Black SUV driver has basically made me a pariah among the local moms where we currently live.

Where do you live that's like this? I'm Asian American and used to live on the Peninsula. There aren't *that* many places around the Bay Area that is this white.

PP - We're currently in the Lamorinda/Danville/CCC area. I'm in a local moms group with a "diversity" subgroup and this is a common complaint. Only the nannies talk to me.

Ah yes... the more east you go, the more "whiter" it is. Sunnyvale area has a lot more Asians.

Unfortunately, OP is AA, and there aren't many places in SV where there is a sizeable AA population. Not to say that there aren't *any*. Certainly in my Peninsula neighborhood, we had a few, but again, not sizeable. I wouldn't worry about any racism, though. The whole SV has so many expats and foreign workers, they are used to "other" looking people.

We are in Oakland, and know a surprising number of AA families who live here and commute to SV for this reason specifically. You couldn't pay me to do that commute, but it is worth it to them to raise their kids in a more diverse community with peers and teachers who look like them. (Notably, most have at least one parent who works in SF or Oakland, so they're not both commuting to SV, and there are shuttles to the big tech companies, with lots of work-from-home flexibility. But still!)

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Anonymous wrote:
Third, be prepared for major culture, social, and identity shock - especially if you SAH and end up living in a less diverse area. I have been really lonely and not being skinny/blonde/30s/Black SUV driver has basically made me a pariah among the local moms where we currently live.

Where do you live that's like this? I'm Asian American and used to live on the Peninsula. There aren't *that* many places around the Bay Area that is this white.

PP - We're currently in the Lamorinda/Danville/CCC area. I'm in a local moms group with a "diversity" subgroup and this is a common complaint. Only the nannies talk to me.

Ah yes... the more east you go, the more "whiter" it is. Sunnyvale area has a lot more Asians.

Unfortunately, OP is AA, and there aren't many places in SV where there is a sizeable AA population. Not to say that there aren't *any*. Certainly in my Peninsula neighborhood, we had a few, but again, not sizeable. I wouldn't worry about any racism, though. The whole SV has so many expats and foreign workers, they are used to "other" looking people.

Anonymous wrote:OP - look at the Cambrian Park area in Los Gatos/SanJose. Its closer than Almaden is to Sunnyvale and has better schools than San Jose Unified though Leland is good further down in Almaden. Campbell is another option.

That area, along with Campbell, is flippin expensive now. I used to live in Campbell. A 2br/2ba condo is going for $740k in Campbell.

https://www.redfin.com/CA/Campbell/300-Union-Ave-95008/unit-24/home/1727486

A 2br/2ba in Cambrian area of SJ is going for about $700k -- and it's near hwy 85.

https://www.redfin.com/CA/San-Jose/4808-Pine-Forest-Pl-95118/home/925792


OP, what's your house budget?

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Too many demons.

NP, and this earned a laugh from this former Buffy fan. But that was Sunnydale.

I totally missed that and I was a total Buffy fan!

LOL. That's why I clicked on this thread. I was like... isn't that the Hellmouth?

OP - look at the Cambrian Park area in Los Gatos/SanJose. Its closer than Almaden is to Sunnyvale and has better schools than San Jose Unified though Leland is good further down in Almaden. Campbell is another option.

We lived there for a year a couple years ago. There are a couple interesting charter schools you should look into that don't have boundaries. Homeschooling is pretty strong in the area too. Downtown Sunnyvale is getting a whole foods and movie theatre plus a lot of apartments and condos are coming online. Rent first! See if you like it. We didn't and moved North. As for diversity, it's mainly Asian and Indian and young. Very young. Definitely the heart of silicon valley. But with a great farmers market! And the train station makes it an easy commute to the city.

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Anonymous wrote:
Third, be prepared for major culture, social, and identity shock - especially if you SAH and end up living in a less diverse area. I have been really lonely and not being skinny/blonde/30s/Black SUV driver has basically made me a pariah among the local moms where we currently live.

Where do you live that's like this? I'm Asian American and used to live on the Peninsula. There aren't *that* many places around the Bay Area that is this white.

PP - We're currently in the Lamorinda/Danville/CCC area. I'm in a local moms group with a "diversity" subgroup and this is a common complaint. Only the nannies talk to me.

I’d sooner launch myself off the Golden Gate Bridge than do a Danville-Sunnyvale commute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Third, be prepared for major culture, social, and identity shock - especially if you SAH and end up living in a less diverse area. I have been really lonely and not being skinny/blonde/30s/Black SUV driver has basically made me a pariah among the local moms where we currently live.

Where do you live that's like this? I'm Asian American and used to live on the Peninsula. There aren't *that* many places around the Bay Area that is this white.

PP - We're currently in the Lamorinda/Danville/CCC area. I'm in a local moms group with a "diversity" subgroup and this is a common complaint. Only the nannies talk to me.

Anonymous wrote:
Third, be prepared for major culture, social, and identity shock - especially if you SAH and end up living in a less diverse area. I have been really lonely and not being skinny/blonde/30s/Black SUV driver has basically made me a pariah among the local moms where we currently live.

Where do you live that's like this? I'm Asian American and used to live on the Peninsula. There aren't *that* many places around the Bay Area that is this white.

We moved to the SF Bay Area last year under similar circumstances. I'm basically unemployable unless I lobby, so I'm a SAHM. DH makes a little over your projected HHI, though he gets stock options and the career track made it worth it.

So, my advice is first for you all to determine if your spouse's career trajectory is such that he'll be able to make his salary plus yours (or close to it). There still may be reasons to move/take the job, even if he won't make up all the loss, but think very carefully about that part. Losing your salary could really set you back over the long run.

Second, housing prices here are insane. Last year a home in Fremont that was a burnt out shell (100% condemned) sold for $1.3 million. The market seems to be softening a little, but that just means annual median price increases of 5-10% instead of 15-20%. We decided to rent for awhile in the hopes that prices would go down and our rent on a small 2b/2b next to a highway was raised 5% after 6 months. (I tried negotiating but management held firm with pay or move.) Be prepared to have to go over budget.

Moreover, some of the more affordable areas - like Oakland - have higher crime rates and/or environmental pollutants. There was a 3-part public radio series on the childhood lead poisoning rate in the East Bay last year -- it's equivalent to Flint, MI, albeit from a different source (lead paint). The East Bay also has much higher childhood asthma rates, due largely to freeway and port of Oakland pollution. For these reasons, I'd second the previous suggestion that you head further south, into San Jose/Almaden, in your search for affordable housing.

Third, be prepared for major culture, social, and identity shock - especially if you SAH and end up living in a less diverse area. I have been really lonely and not being skinny/blonde/30s/Black SUV driver has basically made me a pariah among the local moms where we currently live.

Anonymous wrote:Bay Area Mom here...I recommend Almaden Valley...good schools, commute not bad to Sunnyvale, housing not as pricey as say Willow Glen, Cupertino or Saratoga for the school. Diverse mix of families.

I meant to add, do not rule out a job because there is a shortage of employees in Silicon Valley so you may be able to get one in a Tech company. Personally, I’d look at Cisco because most of their employees telecommute.

Bay Area Mom here...I recommend Almaden Valley...good schools, commute not bad to Sunnyvale, housing not as pricey as say Willow Glen, Cupertino or Saratoga for the school. Diverse mix of families.

OP, we live in the Bay Area on a similar income. It's definitely doable if you can keep the housing costs in check (particularly if you live somewhere where you can do public school--we do private and it takes a big bite out, but is still feasible).

We pay $2300/month for housing, but are fortunate to have gotten in before the current boom. However, we pay $3500/month in childcare and tuition on top of that, so if you don't need to pay for those things, you will have far more flexibility in housing cost.

In your shoes, I would rent in Fremont. Strong schools, relatively easy commute to Sunnyvale, and not insane housing prices (although still high). Pick a neighborhood where you might eventually want to buy, but wait another year or two. I do think we're at a market high, and it will start to soften--especially in the commutershed for Silicon Valley if tech companies start to falter (as some already are). Exception might be if your DH's new company heavily subsidizes home purchases, in which case it might make sense.

Anonymous wrote:OP - $200K would be with me as a SAHM. We’d be at $400K if I were to work but all my experience is in a specific type of government consulting which companies there would want me to be a lobbyist - definitely not for me and it would mean traveling back to DC anyway.

Have you looked at rental rates and/or house prices? Can you live in a small 2br apt/condo? With that salary, that might be all you can afford there.

Keep in mind that taxes, income and sale, are higher in CA.