Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend of 4 months has photos of his ex wife still up on Facebook and she does him. She cheated on him back in April.
I want to tell him I am not comfortable with this, how do I approach it with him?

It's going to take time and only he will do it when he's ready. He may not be ready for a while.

I have photos of ex’s on Facebook. Why? Because I’m too damn lazy to go through all my photo albums and delete them all. They aren’t my profile photos, and I don’t bump them (they’re super old), but they’re still on FB if my boyfriend wanted to go find them.

I can't believe no one else has asked this yet. Are there any photos of you or you with him on his Facebook? Is he out an open with your relationship? Or is he telling you that your relationship can't be revealed until the divorce goes through? If that's true and you are his secret then you have a big problem no matter how secure you think this relationship is.

You might be in love with him but he’s still in love with his wife.

He needs to heal on his own before he can have anything meaningful with you or anyone else.

Explain how you are not the rebound, beyond “we are in love; we are happier than ever.” One of your recent threads was asking how you can help him get over his pain; you were emphatic that he was over his wife, and his pain was only about HOW it ended (with her cheating). C’mon, OP.

Anonymous wrote:We are both in love. Please don't tell me I am not and I am not the rebound.

I didn't ask for opinions on that but on the photos.

You again!!!! Aack!! Post after post of “we are in love; we are happier than we’ve ever been. I’ll do anything to help him heal.” Your voice is very distinct, repetitive and absomutely stubborn in your refusal to see any piece of reality. And yet you start threads like this all the time. Your BF deleting his Facebook posts doesn’t make his grief over the loss of his marriage, and his pain, and his sadness, just disappear.

That’s why you don’t date someone who hasn’t divorced yet and it’s a double warning when they’ve been cheated on.

Have you spoken to him about it?

I’m separated, I’m the one who initiated the divorce. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I have zero intentions of removing my ex from my FB past. The pics and posts he’s invoked in all surround our kids and family. I’m not going to just delete them. I have hidden gushy romantic things when I see them from recent memories, but frankly, IDGAF. I’m not with him, I have no intention of ever being with him again, and FB isn’t going to make that happen. So, chill.

I’ve been married for eight years, and I have photos from previous relationships on my Facebook. It never occurred to me to bother taking them down. I don’t even know if my husband does. I never looked.

I scrubbed my Facebook to maybe about 3-4 years back so I probably have a ton of old pictures of my XH on my Facebook feed as we were together for 20 years. He’s remarried with a new family now.

My BF still has pictures of his XW on his Facebook. Doesn’t bother me one bit. They’re not together, he’s with me. But I’m not insecure.

He may just not care about removing them.
FWIW, I probably have FB posts about my ex floating around FB somewhere. We have both since moved on and have new families without each other. I think about him 0% of the time but have not removed all instances of him from random photos on FB.

You're the OP of the thread about wanting to help him get over divorce quicker aren't you? I couldn't find it to link it. But you were planning a bunch of trips to take his mind off the ex and focus on moving forward with you.

He was cheated on 8 months ago, started dating you 4 months ago, neither he nor his wife have erased each other from social media, they are not divorced ...just a few GIANT red flags. Has any filed for divorce formally? Filled out all his paper work/disclosures?

Anonymous wrote:We are both in love. Please don't tell me I am not and I am not the rebound.

I didn't ask for opinions on that but on the photos.

4 months? And he's not divorced yet and won't be for quite awhile? He's rebounding. You may not want opinions on it but it will turn out to be the big issue one day and the photos are just a symptom.

You need to chill. Why are you obsessing about his FB. You need to develop a stronger sense of self and then you won't be bothered by this. It's way too early to be having these feelings and that alone should tell you something about this relationship and what it is or isn't.