I get that everyone likes to be hardline and bash cheaters but sometimes it’s not so simple. Ex-DH cheated on me with his now wife and it actually ended up working out for the best for everyone. They are much better suited to each other and now I’m married to someone that I am a better fit for too. We just got married too young, had kids and then felt stuck. I wish he had been able to come to me first before cheating but people make the wrong choice sometimes. We’re happier, our kids are happier, everyone gets along and I’m sure he’s not cheating on his now wife.

It must be hard not having any self respect. yikes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had friend whose husband worked in another town several days per week and kept a small apartment there. She went to surprise him on their anniversary and he obviously had a resident AP in apartment. They had several kids and repaired the marriage but, whoa!

It was never repaired. She probably ran the financials by her lawyer and accountant. Figured it was worth it to stay hoping a stroke or heart attack wasn't too far away.

Don't speak for other people. My husband had an affair 6 years ago and we are repaired. He had a mid-life crisis, a brief affair and is remorseful. Still, to this day. After years of counseling (yes, exhausting and hard) our marriage is stronger and more intimate than before. It can be done. Most people responding to questions/forums about infidelity had a terrible experience and either divorced or stayed but feel like they are living a lie. Not all couples who went through infidelity are in one of those 2 categories. We are just usually the quiet ones, because we're generally happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had friend whose husband worked in another town several days per week and kept a small apartment there. She went to surprise him on their anniversary and he obviously had a resident AP in apartment. They had several kids and repaired the marriage but, whoa!

It was never repaired. She probably ran the financials by her lawyer and accountant. Figured it was worth it to stay hoping a stroke or heart attack wasn't too far away.

+1 You don't come back from that, ever. Setting her up in an apartment paid for by family money?! oh hell no.

Anonymous wrote:I had friend whose husband worked in another town several days per week and kept a small apartment there. She went to surprise him on their anniversary and he obviously had a resident AP in apartment. They had several kids and repaired the marriage but, whoa!

It was never repaired. She probably ran the financials by her lawyer and accountant. Figured it was worth it to stay hoping a stroke or heart attack wasn't too far away.

Anonymous wrote:My acquaintance (I no longer call her a friend) moved in on the husband of a mutual friend and eventually married him. She made his daughter by the first marriage a "stepchild" in every sense of the word.
She is actually his third wife (he cheated on the first two). Now he "follows" her everywhere with a cell phone tracker but she is not allowed to question his whereabouts and he often has to travel to conferences. It's pretty clear he is cheating on her and suspects her of the same. I don't think she's cheating but her life isn't the one I'd want.

It's nice to see karma at work. Hope she enjoys his sorry ass!

I had friend whose husband worked in another town several days per week and kept a small apartment there. She went to surprise him on their anniversary and he obviously had a resident AP in apartment. They had several kids and repaired the marriage but, whoa!

My acquaintance (I no longer call her a friend) moved in on the husband of a mutual friend and eventually married him. She made his daughter by the first marriage a "stepchild" in every sense of the word.
She is actually his third wife (he cheated on the first two). Now he "follows" her everywhere with a cell phone tracker but she is not allowed to question his whereabouts and he often has to travel to conferences. It's pretty clear he is cheating on her and suspects her of the same. I don't think she's cheating but her life isn't the one I'd want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now DH married his ex when they were 18. While he should’ve divorced her before starting up with me, I don’t worry about him cheating. We’ve been married 25 years. They got married way too young.

Marrying young is not a justification to cheat.

Ok, but it seems to have worked out for the pp.

College sweethearts, my dh and his ex. Polar opposites who should have stopped at college. Family always refers to their relationship as the titanic. And, she’s a nice person. We’ve been married thirty one years, no trust issues, just a better fit personality wise than his first marriage.

Well you got that right. You both are about equal in morals I'm sure.

People who cheat deserve each other

Do you think people can change? It basically boils down to that, those who cheated in the past are not require to do so again in the future.

NP. I cheated on a girlfriend I adored in high school and broke her heart. I felt awful to say the least. That was thirty years ago and I've not repeated that mistake since.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now DH married his ex when they were 18. While he should’ve divorced her before starting up with me, I don’t worry about him cheating. We’ve been married 25 years. They got married way too young.

Marrying young is not a justification to cheat.

Ok, but it seems to have worked out for the pp.

College sweethearts, my dh and his ex. Polar opposites who should have stopped at college. Family always refers to their relationship as the titanic. And, she’s a nice person. We’ve been married thirty one years, no trust issues, just a better fit personality wise than his first marriage.

Well you got that right. You both are about equal in morals I'm sure.

People who cheat deserve each other

Do you think people can change? It basically boils down to that, those who cheated in the past are not require to do so again in the future.

Nope. I don't think people who have the capacity to do that to a spouse can or will change. But if they are with another cheater (or someone who was single but knew they were married when beginning their relationship), then I doubt either one truly expects fidelity for the long term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now DH married his ex when they were 18. While he should’ve divorced her before starting up with me, I don’t worry about him cheating. We’ve been married 25 years. They got married way too young.

Marrying young is not a justification to cheat.

Ok, but it seems to have worked out for the pp.

College sweethearts, my dh and his ex. Polar opposites who should have stopped at college. Family always refers to their relationship as the titanic. And, she’s a nice person. We’ve been married thirty one years, no trust issues, just a better fit personality wise than his first marriage.

Well you got that right. You both are about equal in morals I'm sure.

People who cheat deserve each other

Do you think people can change? It basically boils down to that, those who cheated in the past are not require to do so again in the future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now DH married his ex when they were 18. While he should’ve divorced her before starting up with me, I don’t worry about him cheating. We’ve been married 25 years. They got married way too young.

Marrying young is not a justification to cheat.

Ok, but it seems to have worked out for the pp.

College sweethearts, my dh and his ex. Polar opposites who should have stopped at college. Family always refers to their relationship as the titanic. And, she’s a nice person. We’ve been married thirty one years, no trust issues, just a better fit personality wise than his first marriage.

Well you got that right. You both are about equal in morals I'm sure.

People who cheat deserve each other

Oh my lord, you are incessant. Must be awesome to live in your black and white world, and you’re always right.

Once you scaled that mountain the first time, it’s probably much easier to do it again. Same is probably true of other unsavory behavior.

I've been cheated on by two ex boyfriends. I remained in contact with both of them after we broke up. BOTH ended up cheating again in subsequent relationships.