Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf, OP? This person is taking responsibility for their health. I’ve got news for you- MILLIONS of people take antidepressants! They’re teachers, doctors, daycare workers, lawyers- everyone. They can be compassionate, responsible productive neighbors and partners.
I say dump them, but only because they deserve a better person than you!
Geez...

Calm down. This is more serious than your garden variety "I am not satisfied with my life" depression. It is enough that if he is not taking the meds, he might become a danger to himself and others. Hence my concern about having my child around him.

DP. Sounds like you answered your own question, OP. Next!

Anonymous wrote:You don’t seem to have any empathy or understanding for mental health issues which are incredibly prevalent in our society. I think that’s a dealbreaker for the person you’re with— he/she should find someone who understands.

Agreed!

Let him go. Set him free to be with someone more open minded.

Anonymous wrote:Wtf, OP? This person is taking responsibility for their health. I’ve got news for you- MILLIONS of people take antidepressants! They’re teachers, doctors, daycare workers, lawyers- everyone. They can be compassionate, responsible productive neighbors and partners.
I say dump them, but only because they deserve a better person than you!
Geez...

This. OP’s life is already chockful if people taking antidepressants and other treatments for mental health conditions like anxiety. She needs to stop relying on pop culture for her idea of what depression looks like. As much as I love Toby on This is Us, few people with long term severe depression would stop taking an antidepressant on a whim. In fact, I know someone who spent thousands out of pocket to stay on an effective adjudicant med after our employer’s plan dropped it from the formulary.

I agree that this guy is better off with someone else. Someone who won’t assume he’s a ticking time bomb that shouldn’t be around her kids.

What do you mean by “issues they haven’t addressed?” That would be my primary concern, if he’s taking meds but isn’t otherwise addressing these underlying issues.

And when you say he could be a danger to others, please elaborate. Are you concerned he might be violent?? That would be a deal-breaker.

A person who is regularly taking their meds is a highly responsible individual who has taken charge in his/her health despite stigma + ignorance.

What is problematic to me is how many members of our society are not so proactive w/their health and could go off the rails at any time.....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf, OP? This person is taking responsibility for their health. I’ve got news for you- MILLIONS of people take antidepressants! They’re teachers, doctors, daycare workers, lawyers- everyone. They can be compassionate, responsible productive neighbors and partners.
I say dump them, but only because they deserve a better person than you!
Geez...

Calm down. This is more serious than your garden variety "I am not satisfied with my life" depression. It is enough that if he is not taking the meds, he might become a danger to himself and others. Hence my concern about my kid. He is fine noe.

Educate yourself, OP. Millions take medication for depression, and it is almost never for just “I am not satisfied with my life.” Don’t confuse being sad or unsatisfied with clinical depression.

OP used the “danger to himself” codephrase. She’s claiming it’s that serious. Ok, it’s a serious situation. The person has to recognize that, be in therapy, take the meds, and be able to act as normal as the rest of us. Otherwise no contact.

Anonymous wrote:When do you ask for the history, how far do you inquire about their unmedicated personality, etc. Also, if you have minor children, would this be a deal breaker for a permanent relationship?

FWIW, I am not the partner on meds. I like him but not in love yet.

I wouldn’t do it. These are heavy psychiatric drugs, even though the medical industry tries to make them appear “normal” they are very different than true medicines for physical diseases. They also tend to be addictive and hard to get off of.

I would not date someone with a life long battle with depression. I have had two good friends with such depression and dated someone with serious depressive tendencies. All those relationships were exhausting.

Poor guy. I don’t think you are right for him, honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf, OP? This person is taking responsibility for their health. I’ve got news for you- MILLIONS of people take antidepressants! They’re teachers, doctors, daycare workers, lawyers- everyone. They can be compassionate, responsible productive neighbors and partners.
I say dump them, but only because they deserve a better person than you!
Geez...

Calm down. This is more serious than your garden variety "I am not satisfied with my life" depression. It is enough that if he is not taking the meds, he might become a danger to himself and others. Hence my concern about my kid. He is fine noe.

Educate yourself, OP. Millions take medication for depression, and it is almost never for just “I am not satisfied with my life.” Don’t confuse being sad or unsatisfied with clinical depression.

His depression is for very serious past events/trauma.

OP, as a child of depressed parents, this would be a dealbreaker for me. Too unpredictable - no thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf, OP? This person is taking responsibility for their health. I’ve got news for you- MILLIONS of people take antidepressants! They’re teachers, doctors, daycare workers, lawyers- everyone. They can be compassionate, responsible productive neighbors and partners.
I say dump them, but only because they deserve a better person than you!
Geez...

Calm down. This is more serious than your garden variety "I am not satisfied with my life" depression. It is enough that if he is not taking the meds, he might become a danger to himself and others. Hence my concern about my kid. He is fine noe.

Educate yourself, OP. Millions take medication for depression, and it is almost never for just “I am not satisfied with my life.” Don’t confuse being sad or unsatisfied with clinical depression.

Anonymous wrote:Depression is a very serious thing to consider regarding marriage. It's great that people manage it but there are potential ramifications of all kinds.

+1

Depression is genetic, no? That's baggage that may/maynot gets passed on to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, too risky. I only date people who take Narcan for opiod overdoses, insulin for diabetes, and chemotherapy for cancer.

Well played.

I think OP was simply inarticulate.

Biggest thing is ED. I got viagra as I tapered off my depression meds. That would be most immediate concern. Not whether the guys “unmedicated” personality.

I am aware of the lowered sex drive while taking the meds, how long did you take the viagara? There are underlying issues that he has not addressed or that do reappear, hence the need for the meds. I am concerned that if he chooses to stop, the relationship will not be sustainable. We are taking it slow, so I have not experienced his sex drive.

You should line up a FWB for your sexual needs since his ability might be compromised. I don't think you need to tell him since that might make him more depressed (and need more anti-depressants), just keep it discreet.

Thank you. This is very good advice. I have dated a guy with ED before and had to supplement. I was able to keep it discreet.

Jesus freaking christ, I was trolling you. You shouldn't have a FWB and keep it discreet. People with depression are people too.

Well, I wasn't trolling you. I have expressed my desire to be there for him, and accept his mental health status. I am not going without sex while he seeks treatment.

It sounds like your depression wasn't very serious.