Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s dangling the promise of a future for a chance to get in your pants today.

If my FWB mentioned marriage I’d be out of there like a bat out of hell.

The fact that you’re seeing that as a positive means (to me) that you didn’t want a FWB - but more- and that’s not a good place to be.

This.

The only solution is to start fresh. No nookie. Courtship and traditional dating. Establish a relationship before hopping back into bed.

If he only wants sex, he won't invest time and money into dating for months without intimacy.n

Ugh absolutely not he is playing you and keeping you on the back burner.

Would you tell your BFF that she should settle with some guy who considers her a backup plan? Hell no.

I'm sure he's good in the sack but cut him off, work on your self esteem and I'm sure you will meet a great guy who is crazy about YOU.

I’m not OP, but a lot of the comments in this thread are helping me stick to a decision I recently made in a slightly similar situation. Thanks.

LOL! No. He was a FWB in the first round for a reason. Doesn’t make him relationship/marriage material in the second round.

Anonymous wrote:This situation has a big fat "hell no" written all over it. You'd be a pathetic fool to fall for this. Get some self respect and hold out for the guy who is falling all over himself, can't wait to Mayberry you, mad in love with you.

This guy is a waste yes, but not every woman gets a guy falling all over himself to be with her. That’s just not real life.

This situation has a big fat "hell no" written all over it. You'd be a pathetic fool to fall for this. Get some self respect and hold out for the guy who is falling all over himself, can't wait to Mayberry you, mad in love with you.

This. Men pursue you like game when you’re the one. Don’t give this guy a second thought. You are his second, third, fourth choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, ex-FWB royally screwed up and I cut him off completely. He’s come back apologizing and saying he wants to do this the right way - exclusive relationship and progress (potentially) to marriage. Would you?

If you have strong feelings for him, yes, then see if it can work. Otherwise, you may regret not trying later in life. It was my dream that my ex sort of FWB did this with me...I would have jumped at that chance if he had apologized and we could have really tried.

Ironically, more than a decade later, he did apologize and said he made a mistake (but too late now). At least this guy figured it out before marrying someone else.

If it does not work, you can then break it off, but know you tried and won't have regrets about not trying later.

I’m sorry but you don’t have suffer through someone treating you like garbage and secondhand goods to have true love. I would live with the small regret and have some dignity and self respect. I wouldn’t even be able to find comfort in a relationship that demanded me to lower myself and self worth for a chance that the guy would finally choose me. F that. If you have a hard time choosing me - please get away from me. I want someone to realize my value - particularly after years of knowing me.

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, ex-FWB royally screwed up and I cut him off completely. He’s come back apologizing and saying he wants to do this the right way - exclusive relationship and progress (potentially) to marriage. Would you?

If you have strong feelings for him, yes, then see if it can work. Otherwise, you may regret not trying later in life. It was my dream that my ex sort of FWB did this with me...I would have jumped at that chance if he had apologized and we could have really tried.

Ironically, more than a decade later, he did apologize and said he made a mistake (but too late now). At least this guy figured it out before marrying someone else.

If it does not work, you can then break it off, but know you tried and won't have regrets about not trying later.

Do you have any better offers? What's the harm?

She looked better on paper but you’re actually better? Did that actually come out of his mouth?? How romantic.

Obviously things went south with the other woman. This is a guy who thinks of his own needs first; he has no problem keeping you around so he doesn’t have to be alone, despite knowing you have real feelings for him. Expect more for yourself, OP.

Another vote for moving on. He already knows you well enough to know if you're the one he wants to marry. Something about you is off (for him). I don't mean that in a bad way -- you are probably a great girl, but there's something about you that doesn't fit what he thinks he needs/wants in his life. That is why you have always been FWB. That is why he left the FWB for another girl who looked "better on paper" and that is why when he comes back, he only wants to "see where things go."

This guy is not suitable material for a husband for you. He's also not really your friend. A real friend who cares about you not just getting in your pants wouldn't treat you like this.

You need to start believing people's actions more and their words less. He has told you, over a long period of time, by his behavior, that you are not the one he wants to "lock down".

Also -- just because you have chemistry with someone doesn't mean you should be investing time in a relationship with them -- FWB or serious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be more clear. FWB and I go waaaaay back and always had a “thing,” but never enough for him to want to lock it down. We rekindled the FWB and then he started dating someone seriously and ended things with me. He’s back and says she was better on paper but I’m actually better, and he wants to see where this could go.

You are an option until someone else comes along. That's the truth - he's keeping his options open while he screws you.

+1 Please move on.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be more clear. FWB and I go waaaaay back and always had a “thing,” but never enough for him to want to lock it down. We rekindled the FWB and then he started dating someone seriously and ended things with me. He’s back and says she was better on paper but I’m actually better, and he wants to see where this could go.

Oh, hell no. He's just looking at you because things went south with the other one. He already knew you and picked someone else. You aren't the one. Sorry, OP, I know it stings. You can do better. He may be a great guy but he's not into you so he's not great for you.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be more clear. FWB and I go waaaaay back and always had a “thing,” but never enough for him to want to lock it down. We rekindled the FWB and then he started dating someone seriously and ended things with me. He’s back and says she was better on paper but I’m actually better, and he wants to see where this could go.

You are an option until someone else comes along. That's the truth - he's keeping his options open while he screws you.