Anonymous
11/29/2018 10:00
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, she should not inherit half. If you are putting up with 90% of the eldercare aggro, you should get 90% of the money.
There is a lot more time and history to their family than a few years of eldercare, and taking care of someone is a gift, not a quid pro quo (I say this with 2 deceased parents and multiple siblings).
I have dealt with (and still am dealing with) more than "a few years" of eldercare, with no help from siblings, and it is a huge emotional, physical, and financial burden.
If one sibling is forced to give the "gift" of their time, as well as their emotional, physical, and financial resources, then the siblings who are not doing anything should give the "gift" of relinquishing any claim to the parental estate. [And make no mistake about it, when your siblings live thousands of miles away, yes you are forced to help. It's not really a gift if you're not allowed to refuse to give it.]
All the "time and history" before the eldercare years does not entitle the OP's sister to any money, let alone an automatic 50%.
Anonymous
11/29/2018 09:43
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
It’s not your decision.
And dont be so smug and sure your stepfather “never touched us”. He maybe never touched you. This isn’t uncommon that abusers play siblings against each other to protect their story of innocence.
Ask me how I know.
In any case, are you caring for your mother for the rich financial payout, orbecause you are concerned for her wellbeing?
And dont be so smug and sure your stepfather “never touched us”. He maybe never touched you. This isn’t uncommon that abusers play siblings against each other to protect their story of innocence.
Ask me how I know.
In any case, are you caring for your mother for the rich financial payout, orbecause you are concerned for her wellbeing?
Anonymous
11/29/2018 09:29
Subject: Re:Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Make up with your sibling now (fake it till you make it) while your mom is still alive. Make sure that she inherits equally (minus any cost you incur looking after your mom) because the money is not worth it in the long run if it creates divisions. No parent will be happy to see that their offsprings do not get along. It is a terrible kind of heartache for parents who are at end of their lives. Your reward is that you got mom for more time than your sibling and let that be it. Once your mom is gone, she will not be back for even a last kiss and hug so cherish this time with her. Let your mom go in happiness by showing to her that you can be forgiving to your sibling.
Anonymous
11/29/2018 09:28
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
It's your mom's decision on how to split or adjust her will.
I firmly believe that nobody is entitled to an inheritance so if your mom wants to cut your sister's inheritance, that's OK. If she wants to do 50/50, that's OK.
I firmly believe that nobody is entitled to an inheritance so if your mom wants to cut your sister's inheritance, that's OK. If she wants to do 50/50, that's OK.
Anonymous
11/29/2018 09:23
Subject: Re:Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Anonymous wrote:It may be that your sister deserves more compensation due to living in an environment in which she didn't feel safe and neither her sister or mom listened to her.
She has not been around for a reason. It's not up to you to judge her life story, her morals, and her worthiness.
+1
It's reasonable for you to get some compensation for the time you spent caring for your mother, if you haven't already, but otherwise I would recommend splitting the estate 50/50. If you don't, you will *blow up* that bridge." Your sister will feel, rightly, that not only was she subject to whatever kind of unwanted attention from her stepfather, and not only did her mother and sister not believe her or take her seriously, but that her mother cared less about her because of it, as evidenced by the will. Tell your mom that you want her to keep it equal. Any compensation for your time should be clearly spelled out as such.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 23:03
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OMG you are an apologist for a creep.
+1. You are a truly awful person, OP. You owe your sister a huge apology.
+1. You didn’t earn the money just because you were somehow less affected by what you call his creepiness.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 22:49
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
The estate should be split in half but your mother should give you any jewelry or valuables you want before she passes away.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 22:43
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Anonymous wrote:OMG you are an apologist for a creep.
+1. You are a truly awful person, OP. You owe your sister a huge apology.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 21:36
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Anonymous wrote:No, she should not inherit half. If you are putting up with 90% of the eldercare aggro, you should get 90% of the money.
There is a lot more time and history to their family than a few years of eldercare, and taking care of someone is a gift, not a quid pro quo (I say this with 2 deceased parents and multiple siblings).
Anonymous
11/28/2018 21:31
Subject: Re:Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Anonymous wrote:Yes. She gets to inherit equally. I am the only caregiver for my dad and my aunt (two seperate households). They pay for all their expenses. The money of my dad will be split between myself and my brother. My aunt's money will be split between my two cousins. She will probably give some piece of jewellery for me, but she may not.
One thing as a caretaker I have felt keenly is that life is too short to burn all bridges. If you are in a position to help in any way, you do that and be grateful that you are a caregiver not a care receiver. The money belongs equally to the heirs or offsprings of the person. It is just bad on so many levels to cut someone off. This can be never something that a parent wants for their offsprings. Tell your parent that the money should come to both the offsprings and when they breathe their last they will go happier.
+1
OP, you are horrible.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 21:29
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
No, she should not inherit half. If you are putting up with 90% of the eldercare aggro, you should get 90% of the money.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 21:28
Subject: Re:Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
It may be that your sister deserves more compensation due to living in an environment in which she didn't feel safe and neither her sister or mom listened to her.
She has not been around for a reason. It's not up to you to judge her life story, her morals, and her worthiness.
She has not been around for a reason. It's not up to you to judge her life story, her morals, and her worthiness.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 20:57
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Also did you receive financial support while you were caring for your mom? That is a form of compensation.
Anonymous
11/28/2018 20:54
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
"Should" is unimportant
Anonymous
11/28/2018 20:51
Subject: Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?
Nope. The end is when it counts to show up