Op is a troll or a very VERY dumb guy.

Dude, lawyer NOW. What is this "love you but not in love with you". That phrase is the stupidest double talk out there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Go see a lawyer
2. Getvan individual therapist to manage the emotions you will have through the process.
3. Wait till after the holidays and have her removed from the home, if she won't leave. You can do this in md if there is an affair.
4. Have a family therapist to help you with the kids.
5. Explain to your wife she has 1year to get her shot together if she want to remain married. She will run to her AP .. he will promptly dump her. She will need lots of therapy. Be removed but supportive. In a year you will either get s heathier wife or x wife. But your children need a mother not a train wreck and it's time to put your foot down.


Read chump lady so you dontbfalll into the BS, I did something wrong to cause this routine.

No marriage therapy until she has broken it off with AP for 6 months and been to individual therapy.

Removed from the home, get real.

+1 mil. If so, the motels would never have vacancies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What changed? Clearly something was working (hopefully) if you had 4 kids with her.

OP here. DW made it clear now that with both working and having kids, it took out the romance which stopped having an "emotional" connection to me.

Well, she was probably honest about that part. When did you get this info, before or after you suspected an affair?

Sounds like she’s just looking to blame everyone else for her choice to cheat.

OP here. After I found out of the affair. DW has become excessively passive aggressive and justfies everything she does or turns it on me.

Before doing anything foolish, OP, talk to a divorce lawyer.They will advise you on whether leaving the marital home is feasible, what to do about joint accounts, and what to do about the children. Do NOT tell your wife you are seeing a lawyer, she might move funds away from the joint account.

Stop agonizing and just get on with it.

Hire a PI. There is nothing so valuable as evidence collected by a professional.

Anonymous wrote:1. Go see a lawyer
2. Getvan individual therapist to manage the emotions you will have through the process.
3. Wait till after the holidays and have her removed from the home, if she won't leave. You can do this in md if there is an affair.
4. Have a family therapist to help you with the kids.
5. Explain to your wife she has 1year to get her shot together if she want to remain married. She will run to her AP .. he will promptly dump her. She will need lots of therapy. Be removed but supportive. In a year you will either get s heathier wife or x wife. But your children need a mother not a train wreck and it's time to put your foot down.


Read chump lady so you dontbfalll into the BS, I did something wrong to cause this routine.

No marriage therapy until she has broken it off with AP for 6 months and been to individual therapy.

Removed from the home, get real.

What an idiot. so your first reaction is to post it here? go talk to a lawyer dumba$$.

Do you say that to women?

This should have been in quotes in the post above.

What an idiot. so your first reaction is to post it here? go talk to a lawyer dumba$$.

Do you say that to women?


+1000. The OP is just trying to do the best he can for his family (including her and their kids.)

That being said, my BIL's ExDW did the exact same thing. She rang up almost $60K in credit debt helping her boyfriend "get his life back on track". By get his life back on track, he was working as waiter when they got together and she bought him a laptop, classes at the community college, and paid part of his bills so he could work fewer shifts and study more.

The boyfriend was good looking enough to be model and she even paid for professional photos for him to distribute. My nieces were young enough they did not see all of it.

Their marriage was over and her relationship with the BF was over after he started hitting her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what an idiot. so your first reaction is to post it here? go talk to a lawyer dumba$$.

Do you say that to women?

I would. DCUM almost always advises consulting a lawyer if the DW suspects an affair.

See an attorney fast. You are going to get blind sided!

1. Go see a lawyer
2. Getvan individual therapist to manage the emotions you will have through the process.
3. Wait till after the holidays and have her removed from the home, if she won't leave. You can do this in md if there is an affair.
4. Have a family therapist to help you with the kids.
5. Explain to your wife she has 1year to get her shot together if she want to remain married. She will run to her AP .. he will promptly dump her. She will need lots of therapy. Be removed but supportive. In a year you will either get s heathier wife or x wife. But your children need a mother not a train wreck and it's time to put your foot down.


Read chump lady so you dontbfalll into the BS, I did something wrong to cause this routine.

No marriage therapy until she has broken it off with AP for 6 months and been to individual therapy.

Anonymous wrote:what an idiot. so your first reaction is to post it here? go talk to a lawyer dumba$$.

Do you say that to women?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What changed? Clearly something was working (hopefully) if you had 4 kids with her.

OP here. DW made it clear now that with both working and having kids, it took out the romance which stopped having an "emotional" connection to me.

Well, she was probably honest about that part. When did you get this info, before or after you suspected an affair?

Sounds like she’s just looking to blame everyone else for her choice to cheat.

what an idiot. so your first reaction is to post it here? go talk to a lawyer dumba$$.