Several of the small private schools we visited told stories of personally reaching out to kids who weren't going to class. Even though I had NO reason to believe my child would fall into this category, it was a comfort to know that an administrator would have him on their radar screen the first time he left the nest. I am not sure that large, public schools can or would intervene in this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child seems unmotivated or immature, think twice before sending them to a state school. It’s easy to disappear into the cracks, slack off, get into trouble, etc. And bigger schools are usually disinclined to bend rules or give much personal attention because there are so many students to deal with.

Agreed. Mine had a prof reach out after a couple of missed classes and it delivered a meaningful message: I’m watching, I care and class matters. Pretty sure I said that to him first but whatever.

That’s a nice thought, but their boss at their first job isn’t going to reach out and show them how much he cares when they start skipping work.

Sure they do. My first boss pulled me aside and told me he noticed I’d been coming in a little late. A little humiliating but had an enormous impact on me. It’s thirty years later and I’m never late. I think of him on snow days when I’m the first (and sometimes only) one in the office.

Being a little late is not the same as skipping. And you were lucky you were presumably not in a job where you had to clock in and out or you would have been fired after much more of that. My point was that hand-holding needs to stop at some point.

Right, and a job as isn’t the same as school either. Classes aren’t actually compulsory and work is, so your analogy wasn’t great. Kids miss classes. A couple of emails at the start of a semester was just a kindness and it did the trick. If that keeps a kid on the rails then it’s a good thing. He got the point. It doesn’t mean anything more than that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child seems unmotivated or immature, think twice before sending them to a state school. It’s easy to disappear into the cracks, slack off, get into trouble, etc. And bigger schools are usually disinclined to bend rules or give much personal attention because there are so many students to deal with.

Agreed. Mine had a prof reach out after a couple of missed classes and it delivered a meaningful message: I’m watching, I care and class matters. Pretty sure I said that to him first but whatever.

That’s a nice thought, but their boss at their first job isn’t going to reach out and show them how much he cares when they start skipping work.

Sure they do. My first boss pulled me aside and told me he noticed I’d been coming in a little late. A little humiliating but had an enormous impact on me. It’s thirty years later and I’m never late. I think of him on snow days when I’m the first (and sometimes only) one in the office.

Being a little late is not the same as skipping. And you were lucky you were presumably not in a job where you had to clock in and out or you would have been fired after much more of that. My point was that hand-holding needs to stop at some point.

Anonymous wrote:Besides the price tag, what are some of the differences?

A very broad question. At top privates you get huge endowments, national alumni networks, excellence in multiple disciplines and often a well worn paths to at minimum to UMC life. (There are very to no public schools in this tier). I do not know if this is true for non- top ranked privates. There are some quirky ones, poorly funded ones and of course the generally bad for profit schools. To give a valid answer about the differences we would need to know what tier school. Also, in general, private school focus more on the needs of their students or they go out of business so they are student friendly. Our family looked at 4 graduation rate (we did not care about the 6 year rate because time is $) and mid career salary which was significantly better for top privates. We also looked at jobs at graduation (not 6 months out) and job placement. Overall, top privates did significantly better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child seems unmotivated or immature, think twice before sending them to a state school. It’s easy to disappear into the cracks, slack off, get into trouble, etc. And bigger schools are usually disinclined to bend rules or give much personal attention because there are so many students to deal with.

Agreed. Mine had a prof reach out after a couple of missed classes and it delivered a meaningful message: I’m watching, I care and class matters. Pretty sure I said that to him first but whatever.

That’s a nice thought, but their boss at their first job isn’t going to reach out and show them how much he cares when they start skipping work.

Sure they do. My first boss pulled me aside and told me he noticed I’d been coming in a little late. A little humiliating but had an enormous impact on me. It’s thirty years later and I’m never late. I think of him on snow days when I’m the first (and sometimes only) one in the office.