I guess I'm lucky compared to a lot of these. My MIL is generous and helpful. But she lives with us so she inevitably annoys me.

She buys all my older DD's clothes and shoes. I've literally never bought my kid a pair of shoes. I could, but what's the point? She'll outgrow them all within months and a preschooler hardly needs a closet on par with Imelda Marcos. She was going waaaaay overboard and has scaled it back under threat of a ban, but she still went out and bought all 3 things I had planned to buy DD for her birthday and Christmas. Sigh.

My in laws are mostly fine to me - our relationship is superficial so there’s not much they could do to me.

They’re crappy parents and disappoint my husband constantly so that’s the worst think they’ve done to me - make my husband miserable, stressed and insecure.

Ex MIL. I can’t remember if we weren’t legally divorced yet or not. She told me she hoped I died in a plane crash

MIL refused to let us have our wedding near my parents on the West Coast because it was too expensive for her extended family. She insisted we have it on the East Coast. We were holding on the West Coast because my mom is in a wheelchair and can’t travel due to late stage MS.

We eloped. Strained relationship for almost 20 years.

When my DH told them he was going to propose, my MILs reaction was “don’t you think that’s a little soon?”

We all laugh about it now. That’s the only time my in-laws have done or said anything even remotely questionable. My MIL is kind and respectful of boundaries to a fault, and I’m pretty sure she likes me now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend died by suicide and they refused to acknowledge the death or my grief. No relationship with them.

What did you want them to do? My IL’s barely know my friends.

Are you kidding? How about "I'm sorry for your loss. I know your friend meant a lot to you."

Refused to help DH with our kids when I was in the hospital with pneumonia. Yet she flew to India to help DH’s sister with her kids.

Never acknowledged my miscarriage. Not once. No sorry, no how are you doing, nothing.

And yes, they knew about the pregnancy, knew I had to have a D&C because my body would not give it up, etc.

The next time I got pregnant we didn’t tell them until well after 20 weeks. (I lost the first one in the second trimester so it wasn’t as if we told them at 4 weeks or something the first time.)

Subtle things. She would give me disposable cutlery when we ate at her house. I used to think she was so frugal that she somehow only had a set of proper cutlery ( which of course was reserved for her beloved son).

Anonymous wrote:Trying to be in a competition with me over who "deserves" to be more grief-stricken after DH's death.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Trying to be in a competition with me over who "deserves" to be more grief-stricken after DH's death.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Said they weren’t coming to the wedding if I didn’t sign a prenup.
Strained relationship even 20 years later. We see each other 3 times a year and we live an hour apart.

Did you sign a prenup? Did they come to your wedding? What was your spouse’s reaction to the fact that they demanded this of you?

I did sign one but in my mind my in laws were dead to me once I signed it. Yes they came to the wedding. My spouse is a wonderful man and we have been married for twenty years, but he did not handle things properly. He didn’t want me to sign but he was too scared of his parents. He told us to work is out between ourselves. Because he doesn’t care about a pre-nup. Yes he was an idiot. He just wanted the tension to stop. Shockingly, he is a great husband who has my back especially with MIL. He has learned a lot.

Long story short, FIL died tragically right after our wedding. I was pregnant with DD and MIL realized she would have no relationship with her only grandchild since we were so frosty. So, she had paperwork drawn up to revoke the prenup. I still don’t care for her much.

Suggested there was no point in coming to the wedding if I wasn’t converting, there have also been various small to medium things over the years. I am cold and distant

Not me, but while my mom was in hearing range my grandparents encouraged my dad to have an affair. Thiscwas decades ago; my whole life Mom has performed normal relations with them but then railed about them to Dad and me.

Anonymous wrote:Said they weren’t coming to the wedding if I didn’t sign a prenup.
Strained relationship even 20 years later. We see each other 3 times a year and we live an hour apart.

Did you sign a prenup? Did they come to your wedding? What was your spouse’s reaction to the fact that they demanded this of you?