Anonymous wrote:Dating multiple people is totally fine, as long as you aren't lying about it. You don't need to pick one guy right now, and you don't need to tell them about the other until a few dates in.

Sex complicates things, because it is kind of sketchy to have sex with multiple people, but on the other hand it's expected that people will have sex early on. Ideally you'd delay sex until you are ready for commitment but that's not really feasible anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our grandparents generation you would be fine even expected to do this. However in our generation people will give you grief for it. As evidenced by the first to responders people do not know how to date.

I think you are onto something here. About people not knowing how to date. Op said nothing about sex and yet over half of the replies are about sex.

x 2

Shall we properly distinguish this as courting for clarity’s sake? Courting is pursuit of a romantic relationship with demonstrated public intent. Date always meant romantic relationship that was closed to pursuit of other romantic interests at the same time to give the opportunity to explore authentic intimacy with one other person. Engagement means we intend to be exclusive for life. Marriage means we legally bind ourselves with law that will protect the institution of our exclusivity. Sex is sex. And hopefully it’s presence or lack compliments the respective stages accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.

ETA fixed formatting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Misogynistic to the core.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.

ETA fixed formatting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

No, I never dated more than one person. If I was dating someone I let the “relationship” run it’s course before dating a new person. If I wanted to date a new person I left the first person because that’s a pretty good sign they’re not the one for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

It's not that. Couples are involved in a sexual relationship relatively quickly. By the third date or shortly thereafter is not unusual. So, by the 2nd date, most people know if they want to continue.

Your the one who brought up sex. Op didn’t.

So you are demanding a woman give up all her dating options for you after 2-3 dates. Demanding that she sleep with you. In turn you are offering what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

She won at what? Being alone? That's true.

Meanwhile, I have three beautiful kids, an awesome wife, and a life so full I'm booked through May, literally.

Try being less angry. Maybe you'll find a partner to enjoy the ride with. It's a lot more fun than riding alone.


Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

NP. I'm pretty she won, here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our grandparents generation you would be fine even expected to do this. However in our generation people will give you grief for it. As evidenced by the first to responders people do not know how to date.

I think you are onto something here. About people not knowing how to date. Op said nothing about sex and yet over half of the replies are about sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have sex with multiple men at the same time, it may disqualify you for a more serious relationship if the man finds out

+1

The first girl I dated after grad school was, apparently, dating another guy at the same time. I found out (her supposed BFF texted me) and dropped her like a hot rock. Wed'd been together for about 6 months when I found out. I considered it cheating however she claimed we weren't 'exclusive'. That was news to me.

Anyway, she's still single and childless at 37. No idea if she continued that behavior but I don't know one guy that would find it acceptable in a partner.

But plenty of guys have no problem dating multiple women.

Sounds to me like you didn’t bother to make your intentions known and just assumed you had claim to her vagina.
The horror of being single and childless at 37!

Is it wrong to notice that she's alone and draw a correlation between that status and her abhorrent behavior? Or, is it just too close to your situation?

It’s pathetic to use singleness and childlessness as an insult or indicator of a person’s value. She was right to not be exclusive with you. I couldn’t imagine being married to a misogynistic clown.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. You’re riding with me and only me. If not, move along. I’ll find someone new and better.

So you’re willing to propose marriage after the first date?

It's not that. Couples are involved in a sexual relationship relatively quickly. By the third date or shortly thereafter is not unusual. So, by the 2nd date, most people know if they want to continue.