This is typical and I am sorry it happened to you.

But now you need to fix the mistake you made years ago. If he starts seeing money coming, he will help more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just do it.

Divorce is awesome.

- so much easier than being a mother to a grown ass man. I’m such a better mom without his constant anger and chaos.

Good luck op. I was home with kids for a decade and am happy to be back!

Ditto. Being a single working mom to a teenager was much easier than being working mom to a teenager and a grown man. (Plus my XDH was horrible with money and I love the security of managing my own money.) He will owe you child support unless you split custody and it sounds like he’s not interested enough in parenting to want lots of time.

If she’s been out of the workforce, he will likely owe child support even if they do split custody.

Anonymous wrote:You just do it.

Divorce is awesome.

- so much easier than being a mother to a grown ass man. I’m such a better mom without his constant anger and chaos.

Good luck op. I was home with kids for a decade and am happy to be back!

Ditto. Being a single working mom to a teenager was much easier than being working mom to a teenager and a grown man. (Plus my XDH was horrible with money and I love the security of managing my own money.) He will owe you child support unless you split custody and it sounds like he’s not interested enough in parenting to want lots of time.

Divorce sounds inevitable. OP, your husband is insisting that you get a job because he has spoken to an attorney and has been advised that to avoid having to pay allimony he needs to get you working. That is likely the root of why he is now becoming so insistent. And while divorce is not good for children, neither is living with a stressed out father with anger management issues. Sounds awful.

Yeah, I've done counseling

It caused me a lot of problems and almost prevented me from having my own happy marriage

And my parents still can't even come to a Thanksgiving together at my house

It sucks having to choose between them for holidays...

Oh well

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the selfish women who suggest divorce in every thread

Your kids will not be fine

- child of divorce

Your kids may or may not be fine, but they also may or may not be fine growing up in home with an angry, controlling father.

And PP, I’m sorry you are still harboring resentment and other wounds from your parents’ divorce. Have you tried counseling?

- another child of divorce

Ignore the selfish women who suggest divorce in every thread

Your kids will not be fine

- child of divorce

Anonymous wrote:You just do it.

Divorce is awesome.

- so much easier than being a mother to a grown ass man. I’m such a better mom without his constant anger and chaos.

Good luck op. I was home with kids for a decade and am happy to be back!

Avoiding a useless man in the first place would be even more awesome! How did you fall for him? What advice can you share with a young, single woman?

I'm also a single working mom. You need to find a job with regular hours.Its a booming economy, so look now.
In our neighborhood, there are plenty of day camps that offer childcare on days when schools are closed for professional development etc. No public school can force you to volunteer. I do my bit for the school by writing grant applications etc. after the kid is in bed.

Grocery delivery, Amazon Subscribe and Save, Google calendar. Your house may be messier, but you won't be home often enough to notice it.

Divorce and an aupair for me. I work from home, kids in school (late elem and middle) au pair runs practices and helps out when I have to travel very infrequently for work. I have every other weekend “off” and after him it’s all a cakewalk, I swear.

Anonymous wrote:I need clarification...how old are DCs? If in K or FT preschool what is keeping you from a job?

+1 curious too.

And why is your husband so anxious/over the top reaction about wanting you to make more money? Are you spending too much as a Sahm? House poor? Massive debt?

Anonymous wrote:No one asked you to sacrifice that is clear...your choice. As a single working Mom, I don’t have much empathy. Buckle up whether you stay with DH or not and learn to juggle a career and kids.

PP but not this PP. I think the husband probably asked her to, or she did it because she knew it was the only way she would have kids in this marriage. Either way, still her choice. And it's her choice to stay, which seems like a bad choice, but OP knows OP.

Anonymous wrote:No one asked you to sacrifice that is clear...your choice. As a single working Mom, I don’t have much empathy. Buckle up whether you stay with DH or not and learn to juggle a career and kids.

Wow, you’re a bitch ‘single working mom!’ Sounds like you need to get laid!

No one asked you to sacrifice that is clear...your choice. As a single working Mom, I don’t have much empathy. Buckle up whether you stay with DH or not and learn to juggle a career and kids.

I need clarification...how old are DCs? If in K or FT preschool what is keeping you from a job?