Anonymous
Post 11/13/2018 08:58     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

To offer a perspective on what might drive a woman to consider something like this, I present my story. I had the classic cascade of interventions with DC1 that ended in an emergency c-section for decels. I wanted a VBAC. I cannot tell you the extreme resistance from the OB community I encountered. It was awful, and I felt that the OBs did not have an informed consent mindset where they truly believed I was capable of making my own medical decisions. I ultimately ended up having a med free VBAC with a midwife, but I can understand why women might opt for a freebirth.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2018 08:50     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why these women can't birth in a birthing center. Most will be as hands off as you would like UNLESS you need intervention. Its truly the perfect combination.


Because they don't want intervention unless they request it. They don't want to be forced into anything, full stop.


Given people who kill a pregnant woman beyond a certain gestational age are booked for double murder, there should be regulation against this type of birth. These women are carrying another life and considering a birth 'experience' over that life is the very definition of mentally unwell. It's extremely narcissistic at the very least.

My SIL is extremely opinionated and narcissistic. She would NOT c-section and nearly killed her son in the process of birth in a hospital, no less. When she finally gave birth the FIRST thing out of her mouth was SEE, I DID do it without a c-section and tons of bragging for months on end, about how she pushed until every blood vessel broke in her eyes and even though her son needed intervention after birth, it all worked out.

As I said, me -me -me. Narcissism.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 13:06     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.


I have been put down for having a c-section, although it was necessary. My baby was breech and we didn't know until right before the due date. Having experienced "shaming" for something like this, I wouldn't shame the woman whose baby died, or wish her anything but wellness. I think I would say I disapprove but don't think it should be illegal. I think they are naive but not "baby killers."


Can I ask who shamed you about this? Friends? Family members? I had two scheduled c-sections, and I honestly can't imagine anyone in my life giving me grief about it.


DP. The most memorable was a woman on the playground who told me she was sorry I had surgery, not birth.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 13:00     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.


No there are plenty of things that are both legal and incredibly stupid. Plus there’s no way to make intentional freebirthing illegal without catching innocent people In the dragnet. The consequences are built in - a higher than necessary chance of losing a loved and wanted child or the mother in childbirth.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2018 12:46     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.


I have been put down for having a c-section, although it was necessary. My baby was breech and we didn't know until right before the due date. Having experienced "shaming" for something like this, I wouldn't shame the woman whose baby died, or wish her anything but wellness. I think I would say I disapprove but don't think it should be illegal. I think they are naive but not "baby killers."


Can I ask who shamed you about this? Friends? Family members? I had two scheduled c-sections, and I honestly can't imagine anyone in my life giving me grief about it.


Coworkers and acquaintances, friends of friends. When it came up in conversation. Many people have read articles, apparently, that talk about how bad c-sections are, and how unnecessary they are, and how a lot of women do them out of fear or perceived convenience, and feel the need to point that out and make judgments about your personal situation. I didn't care what they thought, but having experienced that makes me cautious about judging someone else.

No good friends or family members did that to me.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2018 16:57     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why these women can't birth in a birthing center. Most will be as hands off as you would like UNLESS you need intervention. Its truly the perfect combination.


Because they don't want intervention unless they request it. They don't want to be forced into anything, full stop.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2018 13:09     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.


I have been put down for having a c-section, although it was necessary. My baby was breech and we didn't know until right before the due date. Having experienced "shaming" for something like this, I wouldn't shame the woman whose baby died, or wish her anything but wellness. I think I would say I disapprove but don't think it should be illegal. I think they are naive but not "baby killers."


Can I ask who shamed you about this? Friends? Family members? I had two scheduled c-sections, and I honestly can't imagine anyone in my life giving me grief about it.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2018 13:00     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.


I have been put down for having a c-section, although it was necessary. My baby was breech and we didn't know until right before the due date. Having experienced "shaming" for something like this, I wouldn't shame the woman whose baby died, or wish her anything but wellness. I think I would say I disapprove but don't think it should be illegal. I think they are naive but not "baby killers."


The people who harrassed the mother online and at her house are awful people.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2018 11:39     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.


I have been put down for having a c-section, although it was necessary. My baby was breech and we didn't know until right before the due date. Having experienced "shaming" for something like this, I wouldn't shame the woman whose baby died, or wish her anything but wellness. I think I would say I disapprove but don't think it should be illegal. I think they are naive but not "baby killers."
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2018 12:37     Subject: Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Having nearly died at the hands of completely incompetent OBs, I totally, totally get why so many women want something else. The US maternal care system is a travesty. Women deserve better.

However, what a lot of people in the "giving birth is natural" crowd don't understand is that giving birth IS natural, for the SPECIES. Your mileage (as one member of the species) may vary. The other thing that seems lost on them is that human evolution didn't stop or reach it's zenith in the Paleolithic period.

I've stopped having these conversations tho because people believe what they want to believe, especially when they are scared. Scientific evidence is very unconvincing in such situations.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2018 12:16     Subject: Re:Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Are you people who are opposed to freebirth saying that it should be illegal? Or just that you disapprove?

I would never freebirth. In fact I went completely the opposite way - I had elective C-sections. But I have heard plenty of comments from people over the years (who apparently know my body better than I do) about that decision as well and the idea of legislation mandating my medical choices makes me very uncomfortable.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2018 11:21     Subject: Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I did not want much medical monitoring or intervention. I didn't want a band around my stomach, I didn't want drugs, I didn't want ... much of anything.

And so I found a midwife who agreed to do what I wanted as long as I and the baby were not in distress. And she agreed to work with me as long as I agreed to medical intervention if either of us were in distress.

Me, DH, Midwife, Doula and Baby were the only ones in the room. I went home 26 hours after giving birth.


I had a hospital birth and went home in the same amount of time.


Ha ha! Same! But I did have drugs. Delivered at 5am or so and went home the next morning.


Ditto. Delivered at 2:10 pm and went home the next morning. This was at Holy Cross.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2018 10:27     Subject: Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I did not want much medical monitoring or intervention. I didn't want a band around my stomach, I didn't want drugs, I didn't want ... much of anything.

And so I found a midwife who agreed to do what I wanted as long as I and the baby were not in distress. And she agreed to work with me as long as I agreed to medical intervention if either of us were in distress.

Me, DH, Midwife, Doula and Baby were the only ones in the room. I went home 26 hours after giving birth.


I had a hospital birth and went home in the same amount of time.


Same. I delivered at Sibley in the early afternoon last month and was home in time to cook dinner the following day.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2018 10:01     Subject: Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

My grandfather grew up without a mother because she died in childbirth. He wasn't the only one in those days.

I really hate the anti-vaxxers and these free-birthers because they are so ignorant that they don't understand that the greatest health hazards throughout history were childbirth and now-preventable diseases. They have lived in such privileged times that they think that vaccinations and medically assisted childbirth are not only unnecessary, but "bad".
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2018 09:55     Subject: Story about the "free birthers." Anyone read it?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I did not want much medical monitoring or intervention. I didn't want a band around my stomach, I didn't want drugs, I didn't want ... much of anything.

And so I found a midwife who agreed to do what I wanted as long as I and the baby were not in distress. And she agreed to work with me as long as I agreed to medical intervention if either of us were in distress.

Me, DH, Midwife, Doula and Baby were the only ones in the room. I went home 26 hours after giving birth.


I had a hospital birth and went home in the same amount of time.


Ha ha! Same! But I did have drugs. Delivered at 5am or so and went home the next morning.