I am also a twin mom, and agree with the above posters. I had a older toddler who spent time in the NICU when he was born, and he was one of only two singletons. The rest of the babies were twins, in various states of distress. When I found out I was having twins, I was terrified as a result of what I had seen. I had a really difficult pregnancy, my twins were born 5 weeks early, and are mostly healthy, though one has a lifelong chronic condition. Every day of the first year of their life revolved simply around attending to the basic needs of my three children, I had little to no time to enjoy their infancy or to just hold then, and I have no memories of the twin's "firsts" etc.

The understanding of risks around having multiples (that includes twins) has become better known and documented - and that the more embryos transferred doesn't have strong correlation with increased 'success' rates -- so nearly all the RE groups now make individuals watch videos and/or understand those risks before making decisions and advise against it. Fully half of all twins are premature, there are loads of extra health risks short & long term for the children and the mom. I say this as a mom who loves having had my twins more than anything in the world - and counts them as the most important blessings in my life - but if I had the evidence now that existed then, and the advice from doctors, you just wouldn't do it. I also am saying this as someone who ended up losing a baby and was on life support myself - after carrying a baby to 36 weeks. Twins are amazing, fun, cute, (cost-effective for IVF), and wonderful. But the stakes are for real and not refutable at this point.

We worked with a surrogate and transferred 3 embryos. Had twins that are now 18 years old. Our surrogate had no issues during pregnancy and was induced at 38 weeks. Our son was 8 lbs. and our daughter was 7 lbs.

I had natural twins and was lucky to have an uneventful birth and no Nicu time/medical issues. However my OB told me that Ivf twins have worse outcomes overall than non IVF twins. I wouldn’t risk it in your case. It’s already a lot of work to raise twins even without any pregnancy or medical issues!

If you are trying to increase your chance of twins, you are making a choice that is better for you at the expense of your future child’s health. Don’t do it. I had Widra too - he is responsibly conservative about how many embryos to transfer.

My good friend had twins at 45. I don't think she'd recommend it, although she had an uneventful and a relatively not bad birth (ended in a c-section). It was hard work and they were able to afford it financially, but having 1 at any age is tough. That said, when i did IVF at 40, I also wanted twins and my friend wanted twins for me! We transferred 2 -- not because I was trying to have twins, but i wanted the best chances of 1. Glad we only had 1, but we would have survived with 2. (I went to SG.)

Yet another twin mom here. I understand why people want twins. In my case, because I needed a surrogate to have kids at all, I really wanted to transfer two embryos-- because when you're spending over $100k on surrogacy, you really want it to work, and you don't want to pay for it twice.

So we transferred two, and they both stuck. Hooray! Until my surrogate almost miscarried at 22 weeks. She had an emergency cerclage, and managed to hang on until 25 weeks. The bill for the NICU stay was $1.3 million (all covered by my insurance and Medicaid, which covers all NICU babies after 30 days, in case your insurance doesn't cover everything). One of my girls almost died right in front of me in the NICU (her heart stopped, but she was resuscitated). They both almost went blind from retinopathy of prematurity, and will have lingering vision problems for life.

They're almost 3 and still recovering from the effects of prematurity. Speech therapy and feeding therapy weekly for the one who still can't eat solid foods. One has an autism diagnosis (though autism is frequently misdiagnosed in micropreemies, so we're not sure about that one). Still, I consider myself lucky, because my kids are alive-- and I know many people whose twins didn't make it.

And all of this happened because I didn't want to pay another $100k for a second surrogacy. In hindsight, I would GLADLY pay that amount to not have put my children (and myself) through all of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

The recurrent theme of your posts is it’s all about you and your plans, not about what is best for any future potential children. A lot of us would like a bigger family than what we have, that doesn’t mean it is in anyone’s best interests to pursue it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

Humans are not meant to gestate two babies at once. Someone will suffer, either you or the babies. You do not want it to be your babies. Be thankful if you get 1 baby at 43. Don't nurse and don't use BC after first is born. Maybe you will get lucky with irish twins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

I'm "twin mom" - Why? How about five months of strict bedrest, cerglage, weekly untrasounds, preterm labor, nasty drugs to stop labor, doctors saying just get to 28 weeks, scary delivery with one that didn't look like he would make it, weeks of NICU, and then the fun started. When my kids were about 18 months old, I decided to give back to the wonderful parents of twin community I belonged to and became the membership coodinator. I experienced first hand the pain and agony of all the members who wouldn't being home two or any. I had a notebook with the resources the club had put together including moivng companies would would show up with almost no notice to pack up a nursery to put in storage and photographers from "now I lay me down to sleep" (don't google that if you are at work). So...no I don't recommend twins. Mine are healthy but I'm very lucky.

Another twin mom here saying don't do it. One at a time is better for all kinds of reasons.

I gave birth to my twins just days before I turned 45. I had a pretty straightforward pregnancy, scheduled c-section at 37 weeks, two healthy 6 lb babies who went home w/ me, easy recovery from c-section, etc... Basically the dream scenario. I was very lucky and perhaps you would be also.

But I still STRONGLY wish I'd had one at a time, and tell anyone who asks that I don't recommend twins. I wish my kids had my undivided attention at infancy, or at any individual developmental stage. I wish I only had one baby to breast feed at a time - perhaps it would have been easier and I would have done it longer. I wish they didn't compare themselves to each other so relentlessly and unforgivingly ALL THE TIME. I wish they didn't have hurt feelings over who had more friends show up for their b'day party. Etc..,.

There are wondeful and fun things about having (or being) a twin, for sure. But the kids really do pay a price that I wish I could spare them. Maybe I'll feel differently when they're adults but so far (still in elementary school) I have consistently felt that they would have been better served by being one at a time in each developmental stage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here - stop it. You don't want twins.

May I ask why? If I am lucky enough to get pregnant now, 9 months later, wait a year, and get pregnant at THAT point again, I will be 45 when the second one is born. I would rather avoid that. I think 43 is old enough. And yes I would like two.

This is my exact situation, I’m 44 and hoping/praying to add number 2. I had a healthy singleton pregnancy (until my placenta quit at 36 weeks) after transferring 2 3 day embryos. I have an 18 month old and I can tell you that bfing and caring for one infant was much more taxing than the IVF and the pregnancy put together. The risks for AMA moms are real, I was warned about the placenta risks, and I’m not sure two babies would have made it so easily as my son did I wanted twins, too but caring for just one healthy infant in your 40s is rough stuff.

I hope you get pregnant ASAP And have a healthy safe pregnancy and delivery. Good luck!

Twin mom here. Mine were spontaneous and had so many really scary issues in utero. Don’t do it!!

IVF Twin mom here. They are 3. Daycare has almost broken us financially and we have couples therapy today. My dh is pissed we have twins because it never ever stops. If you already have an infant, transfer one!

Another twin mom. We put back two embryos as a hail mary - neither blast was that great - and I was pregnant with twins.

It was not our Plan A. And while I adore my children (I have an older DC), my pregnancy was rough, I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks, was in and out of hospitals until 32 weeks, had twins early and then both had NICU stays (that we still receive bills for three years later, by the way - many NICUs aren't in network at your in-network hospital. Go figure).

Twin newborns and infants was grueling and took a toll on my marriage. It was brutal.

Fast forward to today and we have two healthy kids who we love dearly, but when I hear people say "I want twins," I think they have ZERO idea what the risks and implications are.