Focus on family time. Have a happy family. Are you putting in enough time with your daughter? A happy person is a healthier person. Stop focusing on weight.

I HATE sports. I recently discovered Youtube dance and exercise videos and have had the most fun trying different videos. I watch them on Roku in the living room, so I have plenty of room to dance around. Since they're done in the privacy of home, she doesn't need to be self-conscious about her body.

I like the ones done by the etc. Academy like this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc2SYPkcf8s

I also like the ones done by Tonphai from the Inner Studio. He seems to be a little bit of a ham and I feel more like I'm at a dance party with friends than I'm having to exercise. Here's a couple of examples:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JKPgYYHOMiw

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jyF5s05y4tA

The above links happen to have songs in other languages. They do have some songs in English, but these are my some of my favorites. Your daughter may have other preferences.

I've also tried Tai chi, Capoeira, ballroom dancing, Zumba, country line dancing, Irish step dancing, and even belly dancing. Really, anything she might be interested in, somebody is probably giving lessons on YouTube.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe make sure she doesn’t have exercise induced asthma. I hated sports growing up because I was out of breath long before anyone else. My parents thought I was just unathletic — or lazy.

Fast forward twenty years and a doctor finally diagnosed me. Taking a hit on an albuterol inhaler before hitting the gym changed EVERTHING. I still prefer weight lifting to cardio but my god, at last I can finally run!

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Good point. I was quite thin and into multiple sports in middle/HS. But damn, I would about die trying to run the mile for gym class. I could do short/fast bursts, but just not could breathe with sustained cardio stuff.

Yoga and non team sports. Hiking. Personal trainer with weight lifting.

And maybe even consider physical therapy to see if she has some underlying physical weakness that is making a lot of these activities unpleasant for her. Obviously she doesn't enjoy physical activity for a reason.

Anonymous wrote:She has to choose a sport or physically active hobby. It’s nit negotiable. If she doesn’t then she doesn’t get privileges like a phone or iPad or whatever. She can pick anything under the sun, as long as it’s an activity.

This is a good idea if your goal is to make her hate it and stop doing it the second she leaves home.

I wouldn't keep calling it "exercising". Instead, I'd say "Hey, let's (walk, hike, jog, other activities) together. Then maybe we can (have a fro-yo, watch a movie, make a pizza at home, other things that DD likes to do) afterwards.
At the beginning, the goal is to make her feel positive after a work-out.
My DD joined the girls on the run (heart and sole for middle schoolers) last year. She used to complain a lot when we asked her to walk or hike (not even a jog). Now she has a much better stamina and very motivated to run with her friends during practice.

Peloton.

Maybe make sure she doesn’t have exercise induced asthma. I hated sports growing up because I was out of breath long before anyone else. My parents thought I was just unathletic — or lazy.

Fast forward twenty years and a doctor finally diagnosed me. Taking a hit on an albuterol inhaler before hitting the gym changed EVERTHING. I still prefer weight lifting to cardio but my god, at last I can finally run!

Does she need to enjoy it?

I don't like exercising. It's a life-long struggle for me. I've tried everything and when something new comes into my awareness, I'll often try it. There are things I like more than others, but nothing that I enjoy. But I do it because I must for health. I didn't manage to get to that point until I was in my 30's.

Fortunately, one of my kids truly enjoys her sports. But my son would rather play video games than anything else so for him it's just a requirement. He doesn't have to like it but he has to do it. We let him pick what he wants to do, and we'll support him in trying new things. He wants to try frisbee golf? Sure. Rock climbing? No problem. Almost all of these activities have a way to let people try them without an excessive initial investment. We only get associated gear if he sticks with it for longer than a month or two. Sometimes he'll do a class or join a league. Sometimes he'll go on his own.

Perhaps exercising with her will help. Or providing incentives. We got a treadmill at home and turned the guest room into a treadmill + TV room and watching TV while using the treadmill doesn't count against any screen time limits. I'm not thrilled with the screen time, but I want them both to build the exercise habit and to know how to convince themselves to do it even when they really don't want to.

I would incorporate it into what she likes to do-- ie she lies to draw you said? So I would take her for weekly hikes as a family trip and have her bring her sketch pad. The fall makes for some stunning displays, so go to Shenandoah and make it a goal to hike to a specific landmark that she can draw.

Anonymous wrote:She has to choose a sport or physically active hobby. It’s nit negotiable. If she doesn’t then she doesn’t get privileges like a phone or iPad or whatever. She can pick anything under the sun, as long as it’s an activity.

Yeah, threatening her is sure to promote a healthy lifelong love of exercise

My DD is very similar and for a few years all but refused any team sports. At 11 things have gotten better. We continue to try new things. Rec Volleyball in our area doesn't start until 4th grade, it was one of our first positive team sport experiences, I think b/c everyone started at a similar level. After this she was willing and excited to try something else. She has also stuck with a very low key dance class (partially b/c we said she needed to pick one thing, but she kept it when adding new things so I'm hoping it's become a habit).

Like you mentioned, we also try to focus on the moving helps keep us healthy aspect and not weight or competition. We did get her a fitbit type device to count steps. She set a goal to be able to go a certain distance in a month. Once she reached that goal we've used it more as a "self-check". She'll notice she hasn't moved much in a day and we'll think of a way to increase the step count - walk the dog, have a dance party in her room, jump on the mini-trampoline, create an obstacle course in the basement, go to the playground. She has begun to realize that she feels better when she moves more, but it's been a slow process with periodic set backs.

As others have mentioned, finding things to do as a family (hikes and dog walks here) and with friends is really helpful.

What do her friends do? As they get older, so much of what they want to do is because they want to be with their friends.

I wouldn’t be disappointed that she quits after a semester. Tell her she need some to do one organized physical activity at least, whether it’s team sports, martial arts, or an exercise class, or something else. Beyond that, let her be.

Have her join a dog waking service. Walking + $