Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you all so much again for piping in. We're still sorting out the question of how much to tell the school, but I did email the PE teacher (without mentioning ASD) and she called me back right away. She felt terrible about the situation and was falling all over herself to apologize. She said that she had been emphasizing to the kids that it didn't matter how well they performed on the tests, and so it didn't occur to her that anyone might feel self-conscious about having their scores read to the class, or that it could be a legal violation. She seems like a genuinely caring person. Given her response I consider it a forgiveable oversight, and I'm confident it won't happen again. I explained it to DS and he is feeling much, much better about PE. Thank you again for helping, and for your other thoughts on the non-PE issues that were still thinking about.

Hey OP, why did you get your DS a neuropsych eval if you were not planning to get your DS supports at school?

OP here. We had our DS tested because his pediatrician suspected ASD and thought that it would be helpful for us to have more information about his condition, regardless of the school implications. This did and still does make sense to us. We choose an out-of-network provider because he could squeeze us in a lot faster than Children's or KKI. We were told by in-network providers that we might have to wait two years. Honestly, your question - why do this if we're not planning to get school supports - never occurred to me. I did think it might cut out some steps in the iep process to have a diagnosis in hand, though, should we ever want or need to pursue an iep.

Anonymous wrote:You have no basis for saying most schools take private neuropsych exams seriously.

Well they all do including the college boards, SATs, LSAT, MCAT, etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you all so much again for piping in. We're still sorting out the question of how much to tell the school, but I did email the PE teacher (without mentioning ASD) and she called me back right away. She felt terrible about the situation and was falling all over herself to apologize. She said that she had been emphasizing to the kids that it didn't matter how well they performed on the tests, and so it didn't occur to her that anyone might feel self-conscious about having their scores read to the class, or that it could be a legal violation. She seems like a genuinely caring person. Given her response I consider it a forgiveable oversight, and I'm confident it won't happen again. I explained it to DS and he is feeling much, much better about PE. Thank you again for helping, and for your other thoughts on the non-PE issues that were still thinking about.

Hey OP, why did you get your DS a neuropsych eval if you were not planning to get your DS supports at school?

OP here again. Thank you all so much again for piping in. We're still sorting out the question of how much to tell the school, but I did email the PE teacher (without mentioning ASD) and she called me back right away. She felt terrible about the situation and was falling all over herself to apologize. She said that she had been emphasizing to the kids that it didn't matter how well they performed on the tests, and so it didn't occur to her that anyone might feel self-conscious about having their scores read to the class, or that it could be a legal violation. She seems like a genuinely caring person. Given her response I consider it a forgiveable oversight, and I'm confident it won't happen again. I explained it to DS and he is feeling much, much better about PE. Thank you again for helping, and for your other thoughts on the non-PE issues that were still thinking about.

Your child has an autism diagnosis though a neuropsych eval. You are actually beyond the point of getting an evaluation since neuropsych evals are looked on as definitive. Tell the school.

Procedurally, everyone has to go through a meeting on whether there is educational impact. What does the neuropsych eval say? There should be a list of recommendations for what kinds of supports and services will be helpful at school.

But as a matter of course most schools are not going to argue that an autism diagnosis has no educational impact. It will however put some problematic issues at school in a new light.

I think you need to separate the PE TEACher issue from the IEP issue. The teacher was out of line, regardless of diagnosis. First talk to theft teacher, the. The principal of that doesn’t help. I don’t think you need to be athletic to do fine in PE, you just have to participate and try.

Next, the IEP. They are not required to evaluate because you request it. They are required to evaluate whether there may be an educational impact that requires assesment. A lot of people misunderstand this distinction. I did, until I started the process. I don’t know whether your child has had an educational impact or not, but I also would lean towards notifying the school. You know the school personnel best, though.

Anonymous wrote:You have no basis for saying most schools take private neuropsych exams seriously.

All schools have procedures for an Independent Education Evaluation (IEE) this is when parents disagree with the school evaluation so they have a private evaluation paid for with public funds. These private evaluations are often neuropsych evals.

You have no basis for saying most schools take private neuropsych exams seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for these helpful and thoughtful replies. It seems to be a consensus that we should be more open with the school about DS's ASD diagnosis, and we'll do so starting with our upcoming P/T conference.

One side question, in MCPS if it matters. If we approach the school about an iep or 504 plan, can the school test my DS for gross and fine motor issues, or is this something we would need to do on our own? From what I understand about the iep/504 process, which is admittedly not very much, schools don't have to address or test for disabilities unless we can show an educational impact. Is doing poorly in gym class considered an educational impact? The neuropsychologist who diagnosed my DS with ASD did recommend he be evaluated by a physical therapist. We haven't followed up yet, in part because we're still reeling from the OOP cost of the ASD evaluation. Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?

Thanks so much again for the quick replies - they were so helpful.

The ASD maybe mild but OP spent OOP for a full neuropsych eval. NO one does this without a very good reason.

Yes, the school will HAVE to evaluate your child for OT, PT and speech if you ask them. Email the principal and request an evaluation and ask for an IEP. Your child has autism and needs supports at school. Get them for him.

The gym class is just one instance but as your child gets older, there will be more instances like this. Get the IEP now.

This board can be great for real world experiences and practical advice but sometimes people post how things should work and not how they really work. Should they have to evaluate? Probably. But in MCPS they do something called a screening meeting and if there is no "suspected" educational impact they will not test. Period. You can bring in your private neuropsych that says a child needs an IEP and information from the teacher who says a child is having challenges, but the school can still tell you there's no suspected impact and therefore no need to move further with the IEP process. Take it from someone who has been there.

OP isn’t at this point since she hasn’t revealed her DS’s diagnosis nor asked for an IEP. One thing for sure is that her DS will never get an IEP unless she requests one and goes through the process.

Sorry that your school is a dud but that does not mean all school are. Most schools take an ASD diagnosis through a neuropsych eval seriously and there is even an “autism” category for qualifying for an IEP.

One of our doctors gave us some advice worth considering: Don't tell the school anything you wouldn't say to your child. You may have a lot of very kind and respectful teachers this year (minus PE), but things can change any day. You are one substitute teacher away from a stranger disclosing something to your child. (Not a dig at subs -- at all! They have to come into a classroom, read up on kids, and teach!) You want to be the one to discuss any diagnoses.

As a result, this doc advocates for being really open and honest with patients, even at a young age. No shame in any issues. But I completely understand this is a personal, family choice, and there have been times in appointments that I wouldn't have been so blunt with my kid.

Just some food for thought as you work through this tough issue.

I have a DS (12) who is neurotypical but low tone with gross and fine motor delays/motor planning issues. He is in public school and PE was always a concern of mine, but, strangely, it has never been an issue. The other kids don’t seem to care about his lack of athletic ability the way they did when we were kids. But that PE teacher was out of line. I’d complain to the school and consider disclosing a coordination/tone disorder even if you don’t want to mention the ASD. Can he change PE teachers?

We did years of PT and OT. Will your insurance cover it? If cost is prohibitive, highly recommend swimming lessons and regular swimming, doing core exercises at home (even one or two PT sessions might be helpful to get at home exercises), kids yoga (there are some good videos on youtube)

If your only reason for seeking an IEP is your child is not the most athletic kid in gym class you're going to have a really hard time getting anyone to take you seriously. Do you have any idea of the level of need of many of the other parents fighting for IEPs? Children failing classes, unable to read, unable to count, anxiety that makes the run out of the classroom or have school refusal, suicidal thoughts, bipolar type of behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for these helpful and thoughtful replies. It seems to be a consensus that we should be more open with the school about DS's ASD diagnosis, and we'll do so starting with our upcoming P/T conference.

One side question, in MCPS if it matters. If we approach the school about an iep or 504 plan, can the school test my DS for gross and fine motor issues, or is this something we would need to do on our own? From what I understand about the iep/504 process, which is admittedly not very much, schools don't have to address or test for disabilities unless we can show an educational impact. Is doing poorly in gym class considered an educational impact? The neuropsychologist who diagnosed my DS with ASD did recommend he be evaluated by a physical therapist. We haven't followed up yet, in part because we're still reeling from the OOP cost of the ASD evaluation. Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?

Thanks so much again for the quick replies - they were so helpful.

The ASD maybe mild but OP spent OOP for a full neuropsych eval. NO one does this without a very good reason.

Yes, the school will HAVE to evaluate your child for OT, PT and speech if you ask them. Email the principal and request an evaluation and ask for an IEP. Your child has autism and needs supports at school. Get them for him.

The gym class is just one instance but as your child gets older, there will be more instances like this. Get the IEP now.

This board can be great for real world experiences and practical advice but sometimes people post how things should work and not how they really work. Should they have to evaluate? Probably. But in MCPS they do something called a screening meeting and if there is no "suspected" educational impact they will not test. Period. You can bring in your private neuropsych that says a child needs an IEP and information from the teacher who says a child is having challenges, but the school can still tell you there's no suspected impact and therefore no need to move further with the IEP process. Take it from someone who has been there.

OP, why did you get your child a full neuropsych evaluation at apparently great financial cost, if not to make sure he is fully supported at school? I'm confused.

As for your specific question: PT and OT helped my uncoordinated DS get a lot more confident with climbing and running, although he does get sad because he'll still always be "last." Within his IEP, I would be able to figure out a way that PE would help him develop his skills and not humiliate him.

The school is likely not going to test a 4th grader for gross motor delays as part of the IEP because they're not really related to academics for a kid that age. But if you have an IEP, you can sort of bootstrap it to address things like a humiliating PE teacher. Fine motor delays that are impacting handwriting/keyboarding are more relevant to academics, and you might be able to get OT. But for the gross motor, you're probably going to have to go to a private pay OT. Personally I think it's really worth the money.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for these helpful and thoughtful replies. It seems to be a consensus that we should be more open with the school about DS's ASD diagnosis, and we'll do so starting with our upcoming P/T conference.

One side question, in MCPS if it matters. If we approach the school about an iep or 504 plan, can the school test my DS for gross and fine motor issues, or is this something we would need to do on our own? From what I understand about the iep/504 process, which is admittedly not very much, schools don't have to address or test for disabilities unless we can show an educational impact. Is doing poorly in gym class considered an educational impact? The neuropsychologist who diagnosed my DS with ASD did recommend he be evaluated by a physical therapist. We haven't followed up yet, in part because we're still reeling from the OOP cost of the ASD evaluation. Should I see if the school can evaluate him, or would I be laughed out of the room?

Thanks so much again for the quick replies - they were so helpful.

The ASD maybe mild but OP spent OOP for a full neuropsych eval. NO one does this without a very good reason.

Yes, the school will HAVE to evaluate your child for OT, PT and speech if you ask them. Email the principal and request an evaluation and ask for an IEP. Your child has autism and needs supports at school. Get them for him.

The gym class is just one instance but as your child gets older, there will be more instances like this. Get the IEP now.