We are not exceptionally wealthy and we are certainly not famous, but our 3.5 year old son is expected not to interrupt adults, to be quiet in the house, not to pick up anything off the floor, and not get food on his clothes. He fails on the last one occasionally but is otherwise very well behaved. We didn't really have to do anything other than constantly remind him of the expectations, so I do think we also lucked out in terms of his personality. However, he sees other parents not correcting behavior that would never be acceptable in our house. That is the one thing that makes it harder as our son gets older: explaining why other kids are allowed to do things he is not. If it makes a difference, my husband and I are both from (different) European countries, and our friends from back home all tend to employ the same parenting techniques and have similar results.

Anonymous wrote:If you were exceptionally wealthy and your DH was somewhat famous, would you have greater and stricter expectations for your 3 and 4 year olds? Would you fear the bratty-rich-kid impression?

What about an inately talented child?

Please - no flaming.

We know a family like this. Here’s the thing: it is the nanny’s job to discipline the child and get the kid to behave - the father is traveling most of the time, the mother is traveling a lot, and the child is typically home alone with the nanny and household staff. The nanny knows what the expectations are for th child’s behavior, and who is expected to tech him.

I am amazed to see how well the child behaves, and he is gently corrected and prompted for the correct behavior constantly by the nanny. She is a live-in, so she is around 24-7, with few breaks all year, so is really the constant in the child’s life.

So the child is well mannered and well behaved at 5 (we have known him for 2 years). I don’t know how/if that will change as he gets older and realizes exactly how wealthy he is.

I would likely not have different expectations at age 3, because so much of it is developmental at that point and I actually don't think many of the advantages that true wealth provides (vis-a-vis the UMC only) are really at play yet for a 3 year old.

Anonymous wrote:I typically require my 3 year old behave when she's accompanying daddy on the red carpet, yes. Plus we have a rule that she's not allowed to have grape juice when she's wearing her custom Dolce & Gabbana dresses.

LOL