I’m also high strung and anxious as a general rule and I take Zoloft for this. It’s recommended insofar as the benefits far outweigh the risks. However, the Association of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) all advise that no amount of alcohol is safe for pregnant women. Not trying to be intrusive, but it sounds like talking to you OB about how you feel might be helpful in pointing you to healthier ways to cope with your emotions.

Anonymous wrote:I drank pretty often before pregnancy. I get very emotional/stressed while pregnant, way more than usual. I only have 1-1.5 servings of alcohol at a time on a full stomach, not often, but I feel guilty still. I don't tell anyone but my husband. He encourages it because I am pretty high strung and misses having someone to drink with. Negative comments go ahead, I'll ignore. Looking for others who are doing the same.

Drinking to medicate your emotions--or someone else's emotions--is a major red flag whether you are pregnant or not. If you are experiencing anxiety, you should get treatment for it. Talk to your OB about all of this.

Mmmm. I drank occasionally after about 24 weeks. I had a beer in my second trimester. I wouldn’t drink more regularly than that. It wasn’t worth it to me — not from a risk standpoint, but from a ‘I want more than this crappy half glass’ standpoint.

Anonymous wrote:OP I think people exaggerate on the alcohol thing, but it's hard to tell if you have an issue. Depending on how big a "serving" is, 1.5 servings a few times a week could be a lot in the 1st tri especially ... and people generally under-estimte how much they drink. If you could say honestly you had 1 white wine spritzer with 2 oz of wine about once a week ... no biggie. But if your "serving" is a giant 6oz glass of wine and you drink 3-4 nights/week ... that is a problem.

I don't like that your DH pressures you either.

I will tell you the truth, which is that I drank lightly (like 2oz of wine 2x/week) and would not do it again if I had another baby. It's a very short period of time, and my general parenting values (now that I have a kid) are to be very discerning and risk averse about my child's health.

What does this mean (bolded)?

I am a person who frequently has a glass of wine throughout pregnancy (well not in the first tri because I am not intaking much of anything at all during that period).

So I'm not the kind of person to judge is what I'm saying.

But I think your language points to this being abnormal and concerning. I never thought of it as I was 'still drinking'. It was just having a glass of wine. Not with the intention to become tipsy or drunk or anything. Not with the intention of 'drinking' I guess. That word adds an element that is kind of concerning I think.

I also think that saying your husband 'misses a drinking buddy' is contributing towards it as well.

So the short answer is, there's nothing wrong with having a glass of wine or a beer or hell, a mint julep or something, occasionally during pregnancy. There is something wrong with taking a shot of vodka with the express purpose of drinking as a coping mechanism. More because it signals that YOU have a problem than that it will hurt the baby. But the reality is that if you have a problem, you're more likely to slip and drink way too much one night or three and actually hurt the baby. I never drank because I felt I needed to. If you feel like that is the reason you're drinking, you need to get that under control before baby comes, because its only going to get more stressful and your baby doesn't deserve an alcoholic mother.

I am on my third pregnancy and drink occasionally after the first trimester. I think a lot depends on serving size, and how quickly you drink. During the first trimester, I had a sip of someone’s drink here and there but never a full serving. After about 18 weeks I allow myself a beer or half glass of wine a couple times a week. When I do so I drink it very very slowly around the dinner hour. My OB is aware and fine with this and has in fact told me that I could have “a couple” of glasses occasionally but I haven’t really done so. For what it’s worth she said that because I have been having serious sleep problems and a lot of family stress. My older children are incredibly healthy. I had a serious medical issue - involving surgery and general anesthesia - during one of my pregnancies so looking back a glass of wine here or there does not concern me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have this argument all the time. A bunch of people myself included drank very lightly during pregnancy. Like a white wine spritzer a night (half strength). A bunch of other women think we are insane for taking the risk. Everyone agrees the evidence favors the light drinkers but some people assume some damage is being done despite the evidence.

Now that I’ve summed it up this thread can stretch on to page 14 at least.

You are in denial if you think this constitutes "very light" drinking during pregnancy.

I agree, especially since some people's "half strength" could be actually a full serving.

Anonymous wrote:We have this argument all the time. A bunch of people myself included drank very lightly during pregnancy. Like a white wine spritzer a night (half strength). A bunch of other women think we are insane for taking the risk. Everyone agrees the evidence favors the light drinkers but some people assume some damage is being done despite the evidence.

Now that I’ve summed it up this thread can stretch on to page 14 at least.

You are in denial if you think this constitutes "very light" drinking during pregnancy.

I sometimes crave beer in early pregnancy, but usually only end up drinking half a bottle or so (maybe 1x/ month in the first tri? ). Occasionally I'll have a small glass wine (1/ month early on, up to probably 2x/ week in the 3rd tri). I'm obviously in the camp that feels total abstention isn't necessary - thigh I do believe excessive drinking can be a major problem. OP, the amounts you're talking about seem borderline high, but mostly it also makes me uncomfortable that you're drinking partly out of social pressure, and by your husband no less. This stems to be the scenario that has led to the total abstention recommendation. For many many people, saying no to the first drink is easier than saying no to the second, third, etc.

How big is the serving? 1.5 sounds like a lot tbh. Can you cut back?

Just don’t drink- it’s a short length of time and you don’t want to look back with “what ifs.” I did have a sip ornteo here and there during my pregnancies. There are small, non-health issues (not life threatening or anything serious) for my kids that doctors have mentioned happened in utereo that I wonder... next pregnancy- not even a sip.

Your DH has a drinking problem if he needs someone to drink with. If it is hard for you to give up drinking during your pregnancy then you have a drinking problem too.

I drank nothing while trying to conceive and pregnant and it wasn’t hard. Find other ways to calm yourself - meditation and deep breathing. And I am about as high strung as they come! I passed the bar exam and finished my MPhil while pregnant do there was a good deal of stress. DH also stopped drinking in solidarity although I kept telling him to order wine or a beer for himself!

I drank very occasionally. Like maybe 4-5 glasses of wine after learning that I was pregnant. But in retrospect I think this issue is a bit overblown. My best friend had about a glass a week.

I love a glass of wine or a cocktail now and then but have abstained during pregnancy. I had a tiny sip of my husband's scotch and the smell was revolting. I miss alcohol, but I don't want it.

A good friend of mine drank during her pregnancy. She lives in a different city so I couldn't tell you how much, but I got the sense it was an occasional glass of wine. I believe she was following the recommendations in Expecting Better. That's her choice, which I think she feels good about, and I absolutely respect it. I am not drinking at all - I used to get hangovers from one glass of wine or one beer, so I am afraid my body is not capable of processing alcohol well enough to protect my baby.

If you don't feel good about drinking, don't do it. It is your job to decide the best way to care for yourself and your baby when you are pregnant. The science on this matter suggests that drinking in moderation is probably safe, but everyone's body is different, and you should do what you think is right. For what it's worth, from another high strung person, I would hate to have to rely on alcohol for stress relief (and it sounds like it is also adding to your stress).