It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage. I went to the most beautiful, over the top wedding several years ago. I was engaged to my now DH at the time and was "taking notes", LOL. It seriously was to this day the most stunning, beautiful wedding I have ever been to. Vera Wang dress, out of this world food, the most stunning flowers I have ever seen in my life, even the tent and portable bathrooms were amazing. Long story short, they got divorced 15 months after their wedding The wedding can be a picture perfect day and mean nothing, or feel disastrous at the time and be the beginning of an amazing marriage. Don't dwell, it was only one day. I wish you and your husband much happiness.

I had a fairly nice low key wedding but in retrospect I would have gone to court, rented a bar later on and spent 10 k on a bucket list trip for 3 weeks. I didn't realize that I'd have to wait 20 years to do something like that. Thank you children.

Perhaps in the near future, you can have a vow renewal ceremony where everything will go much better as before.

Sorry your day was so terrible.
Shame on those that spoiled your special day.

Sans the ring bearer.
He was likely just nervous.

Are there still problems in your marriage OP? Sounds like a lot of underlying family resentment in both sides. Why?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I felt so overwhelmed. My family are asian and they live abroad. On the morning of my wedding my mother was on the phone telling me I was making a mistake and to call it off.

My MIL looked like she was going to break down crying because she did not want her precious son marrying at all. My SIL who was a bridesmaid refused to come get dressed with us and didn't speak to me all day. My husband was more excited to party and be reunited with his friends than give me attention.

At the end of the day we got into a huge fight and he yelled at me and I cried myself to sleep.

I just don't want to relive that day again.

Your mom may have been right. Your husband sounds like a jerk.

Weddings are for the birds. We just went to the courthouse and EVERYONE, family, friends, were relieved as they didn't have to go through the wedding nonsense.

I also had a stressful wedding day. My narcissistic mother was a nightmare who demeaned me and did everything she could not to be supportive. I didn't hire a wedding coordinator (big mistake), and I felt like I was juggling everything instead of getting ready and then enjoying the wedding.

BUT I do feel grateful that I had a great night with DH. Our wedding was on a Sunday at 11:00 AM and by 5:30 we were in our suite having room service and hanging out (we are introverts).

Anyway, I am sorry your day is not what you hoped it would be. I hope your marriage (much more important) is much better. Don't dwell on the day. It's just a stupid day and not that important in the big picture!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I felt so overwhelmed. My family are asian and they live abroad. On the morning of my wedding my mother was on the phone telling me I was making a mistake and to call it off.

My MIL looked like she was going to break down crying because she did not want her precious son marrying at all. My SIL who was a bridesmaid refused to come get dressed with us and didn't speak to me all day. My husband was more excited to party and be reunited with his friends than give me attention.

At the end of the day we got into a huge fight and he yelled at me and I cried myself to sleep.

I just don't want to relive that day again.

Yet here you are

My wedding was terrible too, including the insane photographer who interrupted the service and took horrible photos.

11 years later DH and I have a good laugh about it. It’s not something we think about often though.

Married almost 19 years, and I also hated my wedding.
- My group of friends had a huge falling out and were not speaking to each other, so I had difficulty finding bridesmaids.
- I wanted a very small wedding (10 people and brunch) but a much larger one with a formal reception was forced on my by my husband's family. I was young and didn't say no.
- It was mostly my husband's distant relatives, whom I can never keep straight to this day.
- My FIL-to-be tried to invite his then-mistress (now wife).
- My SIL-to-be and mother both got drunk at the rehearsal dinner and I ended up driving them home as they vomited. My mom was nauseated the entire day of the wedding.
- My parents were also long divorced and avoiding each other.
- I wore much more makeup than usual because my chin was breaking out from stress, and my foundation somehow did not match my neck (it was white).
- My husband viewed it as a chance to hang out with his friends at the reception smoking cigars, leaving me to deal with his confusing relatives alone. I felt neglected.
- I was so busy taking care of everyone else in my dysfunctional family that no one took care of me on *my* day.

All that said, the marriage has been wonderful.

OP, plan on having a wonderful anniversary party on your 10th anniversary. You can consider it a redo. In the meantime, enjoy being married and think about the parts of your wedding that you enjoyed. (Flowers, cake, your hair, friends, whatever.)

I hated my wedding day 10 years ago. It was stressful and expensive and consumed my life and my husband's family was rude and everyone was miserable. And we never got our wedding photos.

My marriage has been amazing so far, and we have 2 incredible kids. I always focus on how amazing the day after my wedding was, and how happy my husband and I make each other.

So basically, it'll be fine. As long as you picked someone you can make a life with.

My DH's Asian parents couldn't decide if they are skipping our wedding until the week before. The morning of the wedding, when we were about to head to the city hall for the actual ceremony (before the reception party), his aunt made a comment about my large nose, and how my sister's was more normal-sized (which DH helpfully translated).

Almost two decades later, my in-laws are still unhappy with me, but it hasn't prevented us from having a good marriage. Though my DH could use a filter, for real.

I am sorry that this is getting you down. Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot change, and proceed accordingly.

My first wedding was a disaster. My wife's bridesmaids thought a few vodka shots would calm her nerves before the ceremony. Only they drank shots of water while my wife drank the real thing. My best man (out of town friend from high school and college) didn't know anyone, so he got drunk and decided to make it his mission to get laid at any cost. He started hitting on all of the women at the wedding, including my local friends' wives and my own bride. The caterer said they'd never had a group consume so much alcohol.
At the end of the night, my wife had a total, drunken, screaming meltdown and insisted that I take her to her parent's house instead of the hotel I had reserved for our wedding night. I slept on my MIL's couch. We're both remarried to others.

Things could have been so much worse, OP.

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're thinking about it b/c your first anniversary is coming up. PP has a good idea, plan something nice for you and DH and go from there. So many people are so stressed on their wedding day, wanting and expecting it to be perfect.

It rained on mine. My hair fell and then poofed. I looked like a raccoon at the reception from my make-up running and I had no idea. My MIL was mad b/c it wasn't the wedding *she* had wanted. My parents were long-divorced and not speaking to each other and all of that came to the surface again. My sister got her heel stuck on the sidewalk and ended up going to an urgent care with a badly sprained ankle. My nephew, ring bearer, peed in his pants in front of everyone.

18 years and two kids later, many more wonderful things have happened. And some crummy things. If that day was the worst you'll experience in your marriage, you're doing very well!

This is a pretty funny story in hindsight.lol