I know you’re asking about preserving your DD’s friendship while keeping her safe, but my heart just breaks for that poor dog. It would undoubtedly be a lovely animal with the proper training and adequate exercise (and it sounds like it’s getting neither). You said you aren’t really friends with the parents; do you know anyone who is? Someone should really talk with them about giving the dog up to a breed-specific rescue organization that can find it a proper home.

That being said, prepare for this to go poorly. For most people, pets are part of the family. You saying that you aren’t comfortable with the dog being there will be just like saying your DD can’t go to their house if her friend’s dangerous brother is there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be kind but direct. Do not tip toe around the issue because this puts the awkwardness on your daughter to keep saying no to invites. Talk to the other mom and say that you are not comfortable with your child being at her house with an aggressive dog. You can be nice about it. But firm. Make it clear the kids are welcome a5 your house.

+1. This is excellent advice.

The friendship may take a hit, but that'll be a lot better than your DD being in danger.

Thank you for endorsing. I think this is the path I will take. My kids' Dad wants to march over there and do some finger wagging, but he forgets these kids have a close and loving friendship that would definitely be harmed by his assertive proclamation. I hope to retain control of the message to the dog family. Honestly I am also worried about their safety and naïveté , but I guess it is not my place to advise when I haven't been asked.

Anonymous wrote:I recently posted on the pet forum about a German Shepard that bite my son while he was out running with his cross country team.

He’s ok. Bite went deep but no ripping and bit on forearm so scarring won’t be terrible.

Owner has 5 kids and says that in all of the years of kids & their friends being in his house no incidents.

There’s always a first.

Hello,

I read your post on the pet forum! Thank you for chiming in here. I was very concerned when I read about your experience. I've always had dogs so I know there is an element of risk, but with some breeds, the element of risk is higher. And the consequences higher if the dog engages in attack mode.

These bites hurt so much. I had a body party literally shredded, required surgery with pins and screws, almost lost part of an extremity. It is "healed" (haha not really, insurance just wanted to stop paying for PT) but it still hurts, years later. Be careful out there people.

Anonymous wrote:Be kind but direct. Do not tip toe around the issue because this puts the awkwardness on your daughter to keep saying no to invites. Talk to the other mom and say that you are not comfortable with your child being at her house with an aggressive dog. You can be nice about it. But firm. Make it clear the kids are welcome a5 your house.

+1. This is excellent advice.

The friendship may take a hit, but that'll be a lot better than your DD being in danger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP my DD of the same age told her best friend last year that she was deeply afraid of her dog and didn't think she should go to her house any more.

This "friend" has not spoken to my DD since, literally not spoken to her. She ignores her at school, not even a "hello" and I have not heard anything from the parents either.

So this is actually ok with us, the friend was very high maintenance and the dog was scary, but be prepared it may be a similar situation plays out for you, depending on the family. Best of luck.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter's friendship, and the stress you experienced.

Do you think the friendship would be have preserved if you'd done anything differently about how you informed the dog family?

I was planning to tell the parents myself, directly, so my DD doesn't appear to have anything to do with the decision. Both of my kids were relieved when I told them of my decision and seemed really accepting of it. this makes me think they were already scared of the dog.

Funny, this pal is ALSO high drama. Everything the family does is a total circus, and the poor child lies all the time to get what she wants. Any number of ridiculous incidents have made me feel a certain way about their friendship, irrespective of the dog. But odd coincidence.

thanks for sharing.

New poster. It might be the same girl!

Ooooh THAT would be interesting... DCUM problem solving playing out in real life!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, are they training it to be a Police Dog or are they in the Military? If not why would they get this type of dog?
Is its a Belgian Malinois?

Probably a German Shepherd. Very common breed, actually.

Yes, the dog IS a Belgian Malinois! I'd never heard of the breed, as I am more of the chef's special-mutt type of dog person. This seems like a terrifyingly powerful dog to have as family pet in a small home WITH a cat and kids etc.

WTH.

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, are they training it to be a Police Dog or are they in the Military? If not why would they get this type of dog?
Is its a Belgian Malinois?

Wow yes good job, it is a Belgian Malinois. They are NOT a military or police family in the least!! I think they just saw a cute puppy and didn't know what they were getting into... but I haven't asked.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/09/23/the-belgian-malinois-the-dog-the-white-house-didnt-use-on-fence-jumping-intruder/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.d15313564efb

The Belgian Malinois: The dog the White House didn’t use on fence-jumping intruder
It is driven to hunt and capture prey. It looks like a leaner, more agile German Shepherd. It has a 270-degree field of vision and the force of its bite equals 1,400 pounds per square inch. It can run 30 miles per hour. It can withstand the heat of the desert and an August day in Washington, D.C. It can smell drugs, bombs and unmarked graves. It’s deadly enough to help take out Osama bin Laden, but gentle enough to push a toddler in a toy car.

The Secret Service exclusively uses the elite breed on its canine force. After an intruder jumps the fence and triggers the alarm, canine teams are trained to be released within four seconds “to act as a missile, launching in the air to knock the subject down, and then biting an arm or leg if need be to subdue the person until the handler arrives,” The Washington Post reported.

Chasing people down is one thing these dogs, which are also used by the U.S. military, do best. “The best way the dogs are used is that they can chase down anyone,” a military dog handler said of a dog deployed with the Marines in Iraq in 2005. “A Marine might not be able to catch someone, but the dogs will.”

A Belgian Malinois was on hand when a Pokemon fan jumped the White House fence earlier this month.

Anonymous wrote:Just curious, are they training it to be a Police Dog or are they in the Military? If not why would they get this type of dog?
Is its a Belgian Malinois?

Probably a German Shepherd. Very common breed, actually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP my DD of the same age told her best friend last year that she was deeply afraid of her dog and didn't think she should go to her house any more.

This "friend" has not spoken to my DD since, literally not spoken to her. She ignores her at school, not even a "hello" and I have not heard anything from the parents either.

So this is actually ok with us, the friend was very high maintenance and the dog was scary, but be prepared it may be a similar situation plays out for you, depending on the family. Best of luck.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter's friendship, and the stress you experienced.

Do you think the friendship would be have preserved if you'd done anything differently about how you informed the dog family?

I was planning to tell the parents myself, directly, so my DD doesn't appear to have anything to do with the decision. Both of my kids were relieved when I told them of my decision and seemed really accepting of it. this makes me think they were already scared of the dog.

Funny, this pal is ALSO high drama. Everything the family does is a total circus, and the poor child lies all the time to get what she wants. Any number of ridiculous incidents have made me feel a certain way about their friendship, irrespective of the dog. But odd coincidence.

thanks for sharing.

New poster. It might be the same girl!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dogs that are aggressive with other animals and prey are not necessarily aggressive with people. Especially dogs like German Shepherds and Dobies. They may want to kill every cat squirrel and dog they see, but they are incredibly loyal, functional, and submissive to humans.

I'm not saying that that is this dog, but if the dog has never exhibited any aggression towards humans, it is not at all a foregone conclusion that it is going to eventually hurt someone.

The drive to hunt and kill prey is very much different than a human aggression

OP, the most important part of this post is the bolded language. This means there are no guarantees. Don't take chances with your kids. You have experience with the specific dog, the pp doesn't.

I really agree here. I have low risk tolerance for known risks, especially with kids. But interesting dog information, thanks for sharing. The only person I know who has such a dog is an actual city police officer. Managing the dog is a serious undertaking.

Just curious, are they training it to be a Police Dog or are they in the Military? If not why would they get this type of dog?
Is its a Belgian Malinois?

Be kind but direct. Do not tip toe around the issue because this puts the awkwardness on your daughter to keep saying no to invites. Talk to the other mom and say that you are not comfortable with your child being at her house with an aggressive dog. You can be nice about it. But firm. Make it clear the kids are welcome a5 your house.

I recently posted on the pet forum about a German Shepard that bite my son while he was out running with his cross country team.

He’s ok. Bite went deep but no ripping and bit on forearm so scarring won’t be terrible.

Owner has 5 kids and says that in all of the years of kids & their friends being in his house no incidents.

There’s always a first.

Anonymous wrote:Dogs that are aggressive with other animals and prey are not necessarily aggressive with people. Especially dogs like German Shepherds and Dobies. They may want to kill every cat squirrel and dog they see, but they are incredibly loyal, functional, and submissive to humans.

I'm not saying that that is this dog, but if the dog has never exhibited any aggression towards humans, it is not at all a foregone conclusion that it is going to eventually hurt someone.

The drive to hunt and kill prey is very much different than a human aggression

OP, the most important part of this post is the bolded language. This means there are no guarantees. Don't take chances with your kids. You have experience with the specific dog, the pp doesn't.

Dogs that are aggressive with other animals and prey are not necessarily aggressive with people. Especially dogs like German Shepherds and Dobies. They may want to kill every cat squirrel and dog they see, but they are incredibly loyal, functional, and submissive to humans.

I'm not saying that that is this dog, but if the dog has never exhibited any aggression towards humans, it is not at all a foregone conclusion that it is going to eventually hurt someone.

The drive to hunt and kill prey is very much different than a human aggression