Anonymous wrote:Help me not to worry that my son will not be teased because he only plays with girls at school. He's a soft-spoken and gentle kid that doesn't really like rough play or team sports. I feel like I'm being sexist, but I worry about how boys and girls naturally sort of separate at this age and he'll be all on his own.

Hi, my son was the same until 4th. 4th grade was kinda the last year he hung out with the girls and he was the only boy at some parties. Didn’t really hangout with kids much for a few years. So much was focused on sports and he didn’t like sports. It got better in middle school where there was more variety of kids. Also, scouts!

Anonymous wrote:Does he have friends over at all? From my obdrsevation (talking with parents) and from my kids observation about who talks about going over people's houses it seems like boy with boys and girls with girls so I'd be concerned on that front. I'd also be concerned that he's not relating to 50% of the people at school. It's nit like boys are a homogenous group, they're different and it's odd he can't find anyone to be friends with.

My 5th grade DD plays mostly with boys & has for years. They play the active games she enjoys, while many girls her age are into more “girly” things. She has play dates almost exclusively with boys. She is friendly with girls at school, but her best friends are boys. It’s not a problem if the kid is happy.

If you have a generally happy and well adjusted kid who is thriving, I would not spend too much time agonizing over the gender of their friends.

My son (kindergarten) also seems to prefer playing with girls. I think they are kinder and less physical than boys. My son loves STEM oriented things, loves legos and building, but isn’t particularly athletic. He also likes playing dress up and imaginary things, and so he gets along nicely with girls. While I can’t say it’s what I expected after growing up with two very athletic and boys boy brothers, my son playing with girls (and honestly, the underlying long term question OP is hinting at about sexuality) occupies almost zero of my mindshare.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I may be projecting. My husband and I both grew up in a small, blue-collar town where gender roles were very strict. Girls played with dolls etc at recess, boys played football. There didn't seem to be accepting of any variation. Now we are in much for the open-minded and diverse community. His teachers tell me he's very well mannered and gets along seamlessly with other kids. I guess I should try and not worry too much.

At my school district, which is middle class and nerdy, the boys who have tons of little girls as friends are not picked on. They are considered to have charisma.

The picked on kids (by other boys) are the loners and people who are easy to rile up. Like my son was.

My twelve year old son was just like your kid, OP. He has a couple of close friends that are boys now but he is still very close with girls. From the time he was little, never liked aggressive behavior or sports. He is very well liked by his peers and super comfortable being just who is meant to be. I was the opposite growing up as a super sporty girl mostly friends with boys. There is no one way to be and if he is happy and healthy, he is on the right path.

Theatre arts. It’s one of the few activities where boys and girls this age mingle.

Our boy mostly plays with girls, but the exact same playground games (mostly "tag") are used by all the kids, regardless of gender. I am glad there is less gender stereotyping on the school playground for his generation.

DD almost 8 plays with boys. Its not all the time but she does in and out of school. She plays soccer and is a tom boy. I haven't read all the comments and replies but, does he ONLY play with girls? Does he have any boy friends he plays with in or out of school? I don't see an issue with playing with others of the opposite sex

Anonymous wrote:Hi I am in same boat as the original poster. Could anyone share how things have turned out for their boys who only played with girls?

Mine was like this and also scared of loud noises. I signed him up for group tennis, then rec soccer. He got over his quiet period and is now both sensitive and rough-and-tumble.

My kid is like that as well but we are very proud of him and happy with how things have played out. Anyone that has a problem with who he chooses as a friend is exactly the type of person that we don’t want him to be friends with in the first place. Naturally sorts out the bad influences.

Does he have friends over at all? From my obdrsevation (talking with parents) and from my kids observation about who talks about going over people's houses it seems like boy with boys and girls with girls so I'd be concerned on that front. I'd also be concerned that he's not relating to 50% of the people at school. It's nit like boys are a homogenous group, they're different and it's odd he can't find anyone to be friends with.

If he’s not complaining, then leave him alone.

I think it depends if he just isn't rough and tumble or if he is into very traditionally feminine / girly things. The first likely won't cause him issues, the second may be a source of exclusion.

In my case boy is now 12 and in 7th grade. Has always been more sensitive and gentle but is also athletic. The girls love him however as of last year he really started wanting to be part of a 'boy group'. He is a bit embarrassed now by all the girl attention. He now has a group of male friends - they are more the science, nerdy kids. He doesn't feel they have a lot in common but they accepted him and he eats lunch with them and he is now 'real' friends with a couple boys from that group who share his sense of humor. He has some male friends from sports but is definitely on the periphery of that group.

My son in 4th grade's circle of friends is about equally split boys and girls. One of the girls in the group is his best friend since preschool and he spends most of his time with her, she's over regularly for playdates, sleepover and so on. Like your son he has no interest in things like team sports or boy scouts, things like science and chess are more his thing. Things could change at any time, I'd just let things play out.

Hi I am in same boat as the original poster. Could anyone share how things have turned out for their boys who only played with girls?