I don't mean to be rude, but if you are seriously concerned about the possibility of having to be a "caretaker" to your spouse, marriage may not be for you. Yes, it happens, but unless you are marrying an old man, it's a bit silly to prognosticate about the possibility that this could happen 30+ years from now.

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it ends... you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 30 years.

If she's in her 20s and he's in her 30s, that means that he's... 40? The "caretaker" possibility is unlikely to come into play until he is at least 70, when she would be around 60.

30 years of healthy marriage is pretty good, if you ask me.

It's the high cost of living in the DMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it ends... you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 30 years.

And if you marry a guy your age, you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 15 years. Which is so much better, for some unknown reason.

I think the answer is to marry a guy 10 years younger.

OP is in her 20s, so that's gonna be tough unless she's one of those teen boy-molesting schoolteachers.

Can't imagine why 25M would want to marry 35F either...

My DH is 13 years older than me. He has had many experiences and many lives (several countries, completely different jobs and was married before). That is what i fell in love with. I don’t have daddy issues and my father was very present, but I have always been attracted to intelligence, confidence and experience... all things that come with age. I could never be attracted to someone my age.

At the same time, DH is very adventurous, full of energy and immature in many ways. I was 26 he was 39 when we met. We now have 3 kids and in many ways I am the more mature one, but he does take care of me as well.
It works for us...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- get counseling. You're going to waste your youth dating old men who want nothing more than your body.

LOL... as opposed to wasting your youth dating young men who also want nothing more than your body?

An older man is more likely to want (and be ready for) commitment than a younger one.

I wasn't suggesting she date younger than her age. Just no dudes that are old enough to be her dad. Or men of an age that when their kids are 6-7 years old, their dad runs out of breath after taking 10 steps.

Make sense?

I’m 70, married when I was 23 years older then my wife. We divorced last year, I have a 20 year old. She could not keep up so I divorced her. I’m still kicking and randy as a billy goat lol. It’s winderful to have great genes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it ends... you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 30 years.

And if you marry a guy your age, you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 15 years. Which is so much better, for some unknown reason.

I think the answer is to marry a guy 10 years younger.

My D H is 5 years younger and dotes on me. I think it’s best to find a compatible person, whatever his age may be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

Date several older men before you decide for sure if you want to marry one. I'd also date men even older than 15 years- not because you want a guy that old, but because a guy who is now in his 30s or 40s will soon be in his 50s or 60s, and you need to see if you actually want someone that old so quickly. He'll be winding down his life and slowing way down, while you are still in your prime. It's also very difficult having young kids with someone that old because they just don't have the energy.

If you do want older, find a guy who is an actual athlete- who competes, not someone who does crossfit or jiu jitsu as a hobby. I've known a couple men in their 50s who were real athletes and they had more energy and excitement than anyone I've met.

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it ends... you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 30 years.

And if you marry a guy your age, you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 15 years. Which is so much better, for some unknown reason.

My husband is 18 years older than me and is the total opposite of my father (whom I love dearly, BTW). DH is a brilliant yet quirky person, and works at the developing edge of his field. You'd never guess his age just by observing him. He definitely wouldn't be your type, "father figure - wise".

I don't know why marrying an older man immediately makes people think you have "daddy issues". I'm not exactly clear what that means, even.

17 years older here. Had no idea he was that much older when we met. He easily passes for 10 years younger than he is and has twice as much energy as I do to boot.

It’s funny because I have something like the opposite of daddy issues. I have a great, involved dad. He reminds me of my dad and that’s what I love. He dotes on me incessantly and appreciates the joy I bring to his life. But, I see us as equals and maybe that’s the difference?

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it ends... you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 30 years.

This OP. Seen it in many cases.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

A 40 year old man might be ok with having a newborn, but I cannot imagine most 50+ yr old men will want a newborn.