Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him donate his xbox after he lied to me about playing it during times it was off-limits.

You know you can set a curfew and screen time limits, right?

The punishment was about the lie. I’m a pretty laid back parent, but I won’t tolerate lying.

Sure, but him playing it during forbidden times isn't even an issue if you make it impossible by setting a curfew and screen time limits.

Children...sometimes....wait for it...break those limits that their parents set! Gasp!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him donate his xbox after he lied to me about playing it during times it was off-limits.

You know you can set a curfew and screen time limits, right?

The punishment was about the lie. I’m a pretty laid back parent, but I won’t tolerate lying.

Sure, but him playing it during forbidden times isn't even an issue if you make it impossible by setting a curfew and screen time limits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest (now 28) lied about playing video games late one night. He was about 11 at the time. I told him I was taking his Xbox. He said I couldn't because it was a gift from his grandparents. Instead of arguing, I cut the power to his room. His room was on the third floor and on a separate circuit from the rest of the house. He did homework with a lantern for a week. Super great parenting moment.

LOL . I aspire to this level of parenting genius. Well done.

It's well balanced against my epic fails.

Anonymous wrote:My oldest (now 28) lied about playing video games late one night. He was about 11 at the time. I told him I was taking his Xbox. He said I couldn't because it was a gift from his grandparents. Instead of arguing, I cut the power to his room. His room was on the third floor and on a separate circuit from the rest of the house. He did homework with a lantern for a week. Super great parenting moment.

LOL . I aspire to this level of parenting genius. Well done.

My oldest (now 28) lied about playing video games late one night. He was about 11 at the time. I told him I was taking his Xbox. He said I couldn't because it was a gift from his grandparents. Instead of arguing, I cut the power to his room. His room was on the third floor and on a separate circuit from the rest of the house. He did homework with a lantern for a week. Super great parenting moment.

Anonymous wrote:Giving my tween son a hug in front of his friends!!

(When he doesn't behave, I tell him he's going to pay for it when it is most inconvenient)

I love hugs, he hates them and nobody is going to call social services. It's perfect

How to raise a sexual offender 101. Teach your kid that having power means you get to push past other people's boundaries and decide what happens to their bodies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giving my tween son a hug in front of his friends!!

(When he doesn't behave, I tell him he's going to pay for it when it is most inconvenient)

I love hugs, he hates them and nobody is going to call social services. It's perfect

Keep in reserve the punishment from Uncle Buck - "I'll walk you to class in my robe and slippers".

That's a good one!

I read once that a tween's mom would threaten to sing in public if the tween wasn't behaving. they would feel so embarrassed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made him donate his xbox after he lied to me about playing it during times it was off-limits.

You know you can set a curfew and screen time limits, right?

The punishment was about the lie. I’m a pretty laid back parent, but I won’t tolerate lying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they were younger, the worst punishment was an old fashioned spanking, which we carried out on some occasions.

As older kids, they haven't given us any reason to punish them.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/12/the-fourth-r/547583/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/04/the-strong-evidence-against-spanking/479937/

That first article is excellent. Sure spanking immediately stops the behavior but it ultimately more harmful. And those of you taking away phones are doing it right.

“Spanking is punishment, and punishment doesn’t work,” he said. “We know it with rats, we know it with humans. But if you can connect with a kid when they’re doing something right, they’re more likely to do that again in the future.”

As a father himself, he knows this is difficult to adhere to, but he believes this can happen even in the most difficult situation. “If a kid is having a temper tantrum and throwing things, and then next time they have a tantrum but don’t throw anything, say ‘I’m really glad you didn't throw anything.’”

The other evidence-based approach he recommends is taking something positive away. For younger children, that can mean taking away a toy temporarily. For older children and teenagers, this can mean taking away a cell phone. All of this is in service of teaching children to be respectful without disrupting the vital positive elements of the caretaker-child relationship.

I spanked once and only once. I was trying to have a conversation with my DD 8 about an issue her teaching was having with her in class. Basically being disruptive and rude. She didn’t want to hear what I had to say and screamed “get out of my face!!” I grabbed her arm and swatted her butt 4 times. She has NEVER done that again. I’m not saying it was my best parenting moment but I can’t say I regret it.

Anonymous wrote:I made him donate his xbox after he lied to me about playing it during times it was off-limits.

You know you can set a curfew and screen time limits, right?

Anonymous wrote:Giving my tween son a hug in front of his friends!!

(When he doesn't behave, I tell him he's going to pay for it when it is most inconvenient)

I love hugs, he hates them and nobody is going to call social services. It's perfect

Keep in reserve the punishment from Uncle Buck - "I'll walk you to class in my robe and slippers".

Anonymous wrote:By now most of us have probably done something extreme to remind them who put a roof over their heads.

This is bizarre. Of course we put a roof over their heads. We chose to bring them into this world and they have the right to food, shelter and clothing.

Will I remind them who pays for the extras? Yes. The basics? Never.

Anonymous wrote:When they were younger, the worst punishment was an old fashioned spanking, which we carried out on some occasions.

As older kids, they haven't given us any reason to punish them.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/12/the-fourth-r/547583/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/04/the-strong-evidence-against-spanking/479937/